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by Anonymous on August 26th, 2006

Anonymous

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My boyfriend of nearly 3 years broke up with me recently but he says he misses me and believes I am the girl for him. He still loves me and would like to get married but right now he doesnt want a relationship. What should I do?

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Answers. 11 helpful answers below.

  • by Glenn Blaylock on August 26th, 2006

    Glenn Blaylock

    Sounds to me like he is a flake. If he wants to marry you, then he should want to be with you. If he doesn't want to have a relationship, then how can he marry you. What he is really saying is that he wants to see who else is out there before he commits. So, I would say let him go. Maybe he'll come back to you someday. Maybe he won't. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him to make up his mind.

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  • by cher on January 26th, 2008

    cher

    DUMP HIM!!!! he misses you because he's used to having you around when he feels like it. if he really felt that you are the girl he want's to marry - he would have a relationship with you. he just wants you to be there for him when he wants you. you deserve better then that. you've already wasted 3 years of your life on him. if you want to get married you need to put yourself back out on the market and look for someone who loves you and respects you and doesn't want you when he doesn't have a date.

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  • by beautiful disaster on November 16th, 2007

    beautiful disaster

    My boyfriend just ended things with me about two weeks ago. It hurts so bad and I would give anything to be with him again... but in my heart I know that if he came back to me tomorrow and wanted to be together again, that I never could. I would never be able to trust him again. He told me so many things when we were together that I believed, and apparently he didn't mean a word of it, or at least doesn't anymore. A lot (not all) men, like the idea of having their cake and eating it too so to speak. A lot of guys never let go of their exes, or never let their exes let go of them because they want you to still be there if they can't find something better. If that's the case with this guy, walk away. Don't let him make you his option.

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  • by Ullyses on September 24th, 2006

    Ullyses

    I would go further and say that if he wants to go away and see what else there is then dump him and move on. If he comes back with his tail between his legs then sternly tell him 'No'. If he feels like this now, but is using the lure of marriage to keep you dangling (an obvious power ploy) then what will he do in the future? He definitely wants his cake, and he wants you to prepare it for him. He might eat it with you, but he might take some elsewhere as well.
    Go and find a real man - one who cares for you and only you and not someone who will keep you for sex and the occasional night out while finding other women to do the same with.

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  • by Sweet T on April 29th, 2008

    Sweet T

    Find a real man, that is insane, That is like being almost pregnant. If he loved you, he would do whatever it takes to be with you.

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  • by LJPearl on April 29th, 2008

    LJPearl

    You need to wave him goodbye. Actions speak louder than words, and you need to look at what his actions are telling you.
    He is searching for something "better" but wants to string you along, in case he doesn't find it. He wants to keep you to the side, while he does whatever he pleases.
    Wake up and realize that he is being selfish.
    If he truly "loved" you then he would have no problems being in a relationship with you, or marry you.
    Do NOT wait around for him to make up his mind. You make up YOUR mind and leave!

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  • by JILL on February 27th, 2009

    JILL

    sounds like he wants to be with you when he wants to or its convienent for him...let him go

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  • by stebman on November 11th, 2009

    stebman

    I agree with the above answer. But here's some additional thought. He may feel guilty as hell about wanting to end the relationship so he thinks he is letting you down easy by feeding you this BS. Be glad it ended now instead of after a marriage and a few kids. I know that right now it seems the world has stopped, but go on with your life and mingle. Don't go looking for someone else to ease the pain, let it come to you. Being single for awhile is not so bad, as long as you have confidence in yourself. Someday you'll meet the right guy that will appreciate you. Good Luck

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  • by rosed92 on November 20th, 2009

    rosed92

    i think you should just let him go find someone esle i know it might be hard after being with someone for 3 years , i have been in a similar situation, but between our break up, we broke up for a good year i found someone esle that i tought i could never find i am truly in love with him, but my ex of almost 3 years he still wants me say he wants to mary but i dnt want him no more, ifthis man loved u and misses u and wanted to marry you he wouldnt have broken up with u in the first placebe strong and let him go for good

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  • by J and B on November 20th, 2009

    J and B

    Sounds like he wants to hold you in reserve while he sees if there's anything better out there, or just wants to sow some oats. In either case, I wouldn't count on him for anything permanent.

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  • by Anonymous on April 5th, 2008

    Anonymous

    my ex is the same way. he broke up with me after 4 yrs. but he comes to see me and asks to go out for dinner or hanging out (which inevitably leads to sex...) but only when he's not busy doing who knows what with who knows who. i feel like a doormat! but im still in love with him.

    the best thing is to tell him to stop telling you that he misses you and that you're the one he's gona marry. a break up is just that... no contact, at least not for a while. ha! i should take my own advice.

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