My boyfriend texted his ex-girlfriend to congratulate her on her pregnancy, but he was secretive by not telling her who the text was from, just "an old admiring friend who misses you..." Is this flirting or any reason to be angry at him?

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• Uh, yeah. It sounds to me like he's lying to you.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 5th, 2008

• agreed that sounds like complete bs

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  by secondratebitch on January 17th, 2009

• true

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  by dragonfly on October 25th, 2009

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• oh cmon now. I thought ur better than this :-) what is with you girls, are men not suppose to have female friends???? Personally, I dont could careless if my gf got pissed that I was talking to another girl. talking doest equal cheating. :-)

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  by Ion on October 3rd, 2009

• ok Ion "mr. hot shit"hehe! It is how he said it. If he had of said "hey, congrats on your pregnancy", then that is one thing, but he said it flirty like. Only an insecure sad woman would put up with that crap. I would tell him to go get him some pregnant ass and leave me alone..LOL!

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  by Piratebooty on October 3rd, 2009

• Whats wrong with congratulating a friend on a pregnancy? Is it wrong for guys to have girl friends?

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  by Ion on October 3rd, 2009

• Its how he said it babe. A man can have friends if it is innocent, but when it is a way that could hurt his girl, then it is disrespectful. A classy, decent man thinks of how he makes his girl feel. Any other type of man is probably an uneducated man that has been reared poorly.

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  by Piratebooty on October 3rd, 2009

• How is this not innocent, cmon now. The fact that he didnt say who text was from, means he does respect his GF. He doesnt want the other girl to know who its from, because he doesnt want to stir uo any feelings

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  by Ion on October 3rd, 2009

• That is true, but...he did not have to say something to make his gf wonder. He could have said he was wondering how she is and leave it at that.That alone says he is thinking of her and respecting his gf.

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  by Piratebooty on October 3rd, 2009

• Of course, I agree with Piratebooty. All I ask for is respect. Even if it was innocent, he could have handled it a different way instead of playing games.

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  by savannah21 on December 2nd, 2009

• Right. Anytime something is "hid", one has to wonder how innocent it is. An innocent thought or gesture would not be hidden, because the person doing the gesture would not think bad in his mind. He would see no reason to say what he did. Sounds this guy is thinking about things in a lustful or wanting manner.

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  by Piratebooty on December 2nd, 2009

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• indeed

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  by The Crimson Magician on December 2nd, 2009

• Nice? Whatever. I'm not one to bury my head in the sand when there are red flags popping up all over the place! There's so much more to the story than I could type, but thanks for the advice. I have so much more important things to do besides 'fussing with my boyfriend.' I repeatedly gave him trust and he took advantage of it. This was just the tip of the iceburg. Stupid me.

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  by savannah21 on December 2nd, 2009

• Well there are still many women, (other than you), that do this on a daily basis when their boyfriends or husbands don't even do anything wrong and i'm talking from alot of experience lol

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  by Marshall93 on December 3rd, 2009

• both of u have a point.

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  by The Crimson Magician on December 3rd, 2009

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• indeed

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  by The Crimson Magician on December 2nd, 2009

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• Well, since that was two years ago, I've learned a lot since then; it's obvious that I had every frickin' right to get 'pissy'--there's a whole slew of raunchy text messages, pics, and voicemails--so many MEN don't know where to draw the line between FRIENDS and F--BUDDIES!

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  by savannah21 on October 6th, 2009

• Well its really complicated for guys, you have to understand. Well Ive had lots of girls break-up with me b/c i keep in touch with ex's and girl-friends. I mean you must understand...Like ive had ex's come to my apartment at like 10 pm all sad and crap. So would comforting them be cheating or if they just spent the night, Without sex.

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  by Ion on October 6th, 2009

• Maybe it's not cheating, but it does look suspicious.

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  by AnonymousGirl on October 25th, 2009

• So if one of your male friends came over and all you did was comfort each other with your problems would you consider that suspicious, because that's exactly what lon said but just the other way around.

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  by Marshall93 on December 2nd, 2009

• I might wonder what's wrong with him to even come to my house in the first place to talk about personal problems. There's a lot of people here. Assuming that wasn't an issue, though, I may know what's going on. However, if he has a girlfriend, I would totally understand if she found it suspicious. Out of respect for her, I'd probably try to get him to talk about his problems in a much less suspicious way because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• So you're basically saying though that female and male friends can't hangout and talk about their problems with each other without it being suspicious, because if you are that is ridiculous.

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  by Marshall93 on December 3rd, 2009

• I'm not being ridiculous at all. I've heard enough stories about people being in those situations who did end up cheating...including my own ex-boyfriend. I did give him the benefit of the doubt. It was a mistake!

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Although, his situation didn't end up with him going to anyone's house. The girl and he did, however, end up going to somewhere private to "hang out", supposedly. Apparently that just "lead to more", according to the girl... She may not have used those words, but that's effectively what she told me. She was also cheating on her boyfriend, who was one of the close friends of my boyfriend at the time. Why is it so important to go to someone's house anyway, just to talk about problems? THAT is what's ridiculous...

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Well look what you're saying is ridiculous, because mainly the only time I hear about a guy coming over to be comforted by a female friend and then he ends up cheating is in movies! You need to stop watching these heartbreak movies and you also need to stop assuming that all guys are alike in their "cheating ways" because of some stupid thing your ex-boyfriend did. All guys are not alike because I love my girlfriend with all my heart and when I hang out with my friends that happen to be girls I ussually end up talking to them about how much I love my girlfriend, and yes I do help my female friends with their problems..........but guess what I DON'T CHEAT ON MY GIRLFRIEND WITH THEM!!

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  by Marshall93 on December 3rd, 2009

• Also, if you read what I said, I did not say that they couldn't talk about their problems with each other without it being suspicious. I said "Out of respect for her, I'd probably try to get him to talk about his problems in a much less suspicious way because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• You're making a lot of assumptions, Marshall. I rarely even watch movies. My examples are from REAL LIFE. I never SAID that all guys are alike in their 'cheating ways'. I never even made the claim. I'm not basing this on just one guy. I don't care if you love your girlfriend. That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. If you know you're innocent, why do you care? What's the point in getting all defensive? I never said you cheated on your girlfriend with anyone. Calm yourself. If you want to read into what I'm saying, there's nothing I can do. I only said it looked suspicious. I didn't say it was necessarily cheating. Get your facts straight before you blow your stack on me, please.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Anyway, I'm going to school. This conversation is a waste of my time. Unsubscribed.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• haha sorry didn't mean to "blow my stacks on you" lol
  and I am sorry you were cheated on, I was just getting mad because it sounded like you were saying all guys who have friends that are girls would cheat on their girlfriend.

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  by Marshall93 on December 3rd, 2009

• I hope the both of you are having fun.

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  by Ion on December 3rd, 2009

• I agree with marshall btw...because im straight and all most of my friends are girls. Although ironically Ive dated all of them at one point or another.

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  by Ion on December 3rd, 2009

• I know I said I unsubscribed, but I had this bookmarked to come back to later. I was just starting to get really frustrated because I was already late for school and you weren't understanding what I meant. I had to cut the conversation short so that I wouldn't miss my next bus. I hope any misunderstandings there were cleared up. If it helps any, I trust my boyfriend to be alone with girls. It doesn't really bother me. He trusts me to be alone with boys, too. I can, however, see how it would look suspicious to someone, though. Even though he trusts me, I still wouldn't want him getting the wrong idea. It doesn't mean that I'm controlling his actions. He can do whatever he wants. I don't really care. My actions are what I am in control of and anything I do that could look suspicious to him, I take into account, even though he trusts me. Why? Well, I care a lot about how my actions might affect him. I also care a lot about how my actions might affect the girlfriend of one of my guy friends. If it might look suspicious to her, it's safer for me to just stay out of it or find a way where he can talk to me that doesn't look so suspicious. This may sound so stupid since people who know me know I'm not the type of person to cheat or help someone cheat, but I still try not to put myself into situations where cheating COULD happen. Those are my rules for myself. Other people can do whatever they want.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Ion, I actually admire that in you. For a highly sexual person (and I'm basing that on your contributions here), you seem to also care about the girls who you have been involved with. It says a lot.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Thank You. Yeah, I dont like to make anyone feel bad, because of me. Sometimes its inevitable though someone will be upset. I probably have to fix problems sooner of later, since im only 19...lol...

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  by Ion on December 3rd, 2009

• That's okay. I'm only 19, too, you know!

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• Thats cool. Have you steady relationships in general?

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  by Ion on December 3rd, 2009

• You can make the judgment call on that one.
  #1 September 2003 - March 2004
  #2: December 2005 - February 2006
  #3: April 2007 - October 2007; October 2007 - April 2009; April 2009 - July 2009
  #4: October 2009 - Present

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 3rd, 2009

• You're pretty steady. thats really good. mine kinda goes
  
  1. cant remember-too short
  2. " "
  3. " "
  4
  5...6...7....8...9....10......20....30.....40....45-2 months.

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  by Ion on December 3rd, 2009

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• BINGO! You got it. After 3 1/2 years of his BS cheating and flirting ways, I've found that that one little text was one of many, many more suspicious (and quite obvious) ones, plus voicemails and pictures to boot. Thanks for the advice. :)

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  by savannah21 on December 7th, 2008

• so, you (savannah) knew the answer all along?

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  by BROADWAYTHECAT on September 23rd, 2009

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• Why would he tell you about the text? You obviously get hurt by that kind of thing.

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 5th, 2008

• No, I get hurt by his constant lies and sneakiness, and his constant obsession with who I'M talking to and his completely unjustified accusations about what I'm doing behind his back. Not to mention, when I asked him why he hid it from me, he said he was trying to "mess with her" because she'd told him he was a bad dad. This is just one of a long list of secretive texts (it's quite minor in comparison to some of them) I've discovered. He's a cheater, bottom line, and he's been caught.

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  by savannah21 on December 7th, 2008

• Hmm....
  Are you sure the two of you even like each other?

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  by AnonymousGirl on December 8th, 2008

• I think I'm just getting fed up. I don't know what to think. He swears up and down that he's never felt this way about anyone before; he loves me and would never cheat, etc. but the way he treats me tells me otherwise. Guess it's just hard to face the truth sometimes. :(

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  by savannah21 on December 9th, 2008

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