My husband had an affair. I have forgiven him and we are working it out in counseling. But how do I forgive HER?
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ANSWERS: 11
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Do you know her? Is she a 'friend' or a relative? If so then I wouldn't be able to forgive her. I would never be able to trust her again. Remember how, even if men come and go, friends are always supposed to be there. However, if this woman is a stranger, and you don't know her: You can't blame her for the affair. It takes two to tango and your husband should have known better for he wasn't single, regardless of her circumstances.
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I would have a hard enough time forgiving him, i dont think i could forgive her..especially if she was known to me. If she is known to you, then this woman knew he was your husband, which makes it worse i reckon. It does take two to have an affair, but if she knew who you were then she knew what she was getting into. Im glad you are working it out, you obviously love him very much.. you may forgive but you will never forget im sure. Good luck with the counselling, i hope all goes well.
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You can't work that kind of thing out in counseling. You really should have just gotten a divorce. No one can truly trust their partner after that has happened. You'll just simply always wonder if he is doing it again. And, even if by some miracle he never does it again, the distrust will ruin the relationship for good. You're just setting yourself up for more pain. I wouldn't worry about forgiving either of them. Move on and forget about them instead of worrying about forgiving anyone.
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You forgive her, for yourself, not for her, or anyone else, it is so you dont hold on to the hate, and let it eat you up inside. Try not to let what happened, control the rest of your life, you dont deserve that.
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Well, first you don't owe her your forgiveness. If you want to forgive her to help yourself move on then that's fine, but don't do it just because you feel it's the right thing to do. Saying you forgive her is different than truly forgiving her, and if you're not honest about it then it will only cause lingering problems. You already made a giant leap and forgave your husband, now you both need to focus on each other and not even worry about the other woman.
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I am in the same boat - except she blames my husband for her marriage break up - her husband divorced her. Now I am not sure after 6 months that I want to continue in my marriage - how did you find it in your heart to forgive him?
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To forgive is to forget! If you want the marriage to work, you have to learn how to forgive. Forgiveness, we must remember, is not so much a feeling but a decision-an action of the will. You decide to forgive, whether you feel like it or not. You supply the willingness, God will supply the power. Be stronge you can do it, it will take time. I am going thru it now.
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This is something that you have to choose to do. It will not just happen. However, you can't choose to do this until you are ready to. If you are asking how to do it, you are probably close to that point, if not there. Forgiveness is not something you do for other people. You do it for yourself to get well and move on. Forgiving is not weak. It means you're strong enough to know people make mistakes. The anger that comes before forgiveness only hurts you. It's a mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation, or anger against another person for their mistake or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
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I have the same situation. My husband had an affair with someone who we were friends with, and fooled around with 2 other women who we are friends with (once each). I can't forgive him (at least not yet, it's been a year). We went to counseling and that didn't really help. We are trying to move on with our lives. Some days are good but everyday there are constant reminders for me. I either see them or there kids, or her husband. Supposedly the one he had the affair with husband doesn't care or doesn't believe it happend. My husband wants me to believe it will never happend again because he realizes he loves me and does not want me to go through any more pain like he caused. He was on the verge of suicide last year because of all the guilt he had. He had to spend 2 days in the hospital because of it and when he got out he told me everything and swore it will never happen again. I want to believe him and I do love him and don't want to break up our family but I don't know how I can ever be truly happy with him again. I
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My husband of 14 years had a 4 month affair and told me he was thinking of leaving me and my kids for this woman when I found out he said she was pregnant and since then from her I have been getting conflicting answers and she also got money from him now he is with me and tells me it was a big mistake but how to be sure Can you really put and affair aside and get back on the right track with a relationship?
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I'm going thru one too! It's soo difficult to forget or to forgive. I thought I can forgive him but every minute, every second it reminds me of her and what he did to me. Even if he looks away from me or gets busy doing work, it feels like is he thinking of her? is he having an affair? still missing her? I forgave him for my love and for my kids but now i'm suffering inside. She is pregnant and i don't know for sure if this baby is her husbands or my husbands? I made my husband say everything in front of her husband and he says he did it for my love. He says he loves me and our kids but i am having hard time believing!! i don't know if anyone can help. I look forward to God to help me and get me stronger!!
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