Women: Do you have enough confidence in yourself to tell your partner exactly how you want it? If not, why?
by 
Stormy...
ANSWERS: 58
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Yep. I will tell him where, how, speed, depth, all of it. I just wish he understood when I said "no"
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Good question...........I would say confidence to not offend her........and there is one where I've reached that point. (not many though)
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Heh...I take control Baby! You better work it, twerk it, flip it and reverse it!
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Absolutely, he is only the second person i have been able to tell, others i have been to embarrassed or they were just too stupid to know what they were doing or to understand! I dont even have to tell my s/o he knows what to do :D
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Oh, no. First of all, I'm more than content with the way she does it. Second, she probably wouldn't listen to me if I tried to tell her. And third, if she did listen, she would probably think I was joking.
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Absolutely. No point in wasting their time or mine, I suppose.
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Yes I do. That cant read minds.
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I sure do! As other users have said..people can't read minds!
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Yup! How else will he know? Lucky for him I know what I want ;)
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Oh yes. He had to pass a very strict series of exams before he got to explore my Southern Hemisphere. Had to make sure he had a sense of direction;)
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Oh H*LL yes! If I'm gettin' it, I want to get it good!
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yeah I think u should take turn takin control so u both get what u want
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you better believe it
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I don't mind telling someone what I like, but I think it's kind of fun to let them explore me geographically and mentally.
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Yep, i do now... its deffinetly tooken me a while to get up to this point, but now i feel completely comfortable with him..
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want it, like a Tiffany and a Neiman's credit card?
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i do have enough confidence in myself to tell them how i want it and how i like it, yeah, why sit there while they are doing whatever, and pretend you like it? hahah that is just stupid. Definitely tell them how you want it!!!
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Somehow I thought you had a bf and a bunch of kids (I think I have the animals straight). Guess I got confused. Maybe that's why when I'm exploring I work in circles.
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Heck yea...I ALWAYS tell him what I want and he tells me... suck it....lick it...flip...and so on and so on...and usually we respond to each others demands
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i dont want to be a traffic controller but if you could just a ... little.... to ... the .... right...
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the butterflies in my belly stated to act up when i read this. Yeah i have enough confidence to tell him how i like it, and i do
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Always, and If I don't feel like interrupting the mood with my words, I just do what I like myself. They usually catch on pretty quickly after that.
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I have the confidence, but I like him to find my secret places.-- He has.
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oh i tell him all the time he dont lol
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I think it's fine to say exactly what you like, but it is also nice to see what they have in mind...just say the basics, "long and hard" haha.
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Of couse I do, If I didn't that aint love!!!! If you are that inscure not to beable to tell him how you want it and want feels good and what satisfies you then move on he, aint the one,,,boring!!
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I'm in the vast minority, but to be perfectly honest, I'm relatively inexperianced and since my man is far more experianced than I am, I'm enjoying figuring out what i like and don't like- though i've noticed that i'm being more vocal about it all- speaking up when I have my preferances. I guess it's all a matter of experiance.
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yeah last night i told my husband that i thought of one of my friends when we some times have sex and he was like oh cool. it was like he didn't care. but what ever.
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Oh yes, and I expect the same. I think respect goes along with that. Sex is very important in a relationship and good sex even more so. How is my lover ever going to really know what I want if I do not vocalize it.
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Yes, I do.
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telling is a joy killer lol its fun to see how far the other person will go and ones they gave it their all kick in and finish it cuz sex is importent and you just dont know how much you are asking of the other person. they might not be ready to go that far.
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Most of the time, yes. But I don't usually need to.
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Absolutely :)
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Nop,because you never know how he might take it!
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not at the moment as i havent got the confidence in myself, but that is getting better slowly
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Not quite... I've only recently gotten the guts to say what I really DON'T like. It's more because my husband is very timid about sex (he can't even get past a mushy part in a movie without cracking a joke to make himself more comfortable) and I don't know how to bring it up with him.
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yeah i have enough but the true question is does your partner do what you ask them to when in situations like that?
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I not only will tell him how I want it, I will show him if I need too. : )
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oh yeah!
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I let him "do his thing" and if I want/need more I tell him. He finds it sexy when I tell him to do something to me!
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Yes, in fact, I've told my partner what I like several times. He never does it. :( I go out of my way to do things that he likes, no matter what it is. I think he needs to take hoola-hoop classes or something, poor guy gives no hip action. boo hoo.
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I do a lot of the leading.
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Of course, I ever told my partner whom I met on casualchats.com, so cool!
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No, because I don't even know what I want. Besides, my mood gets killed very very easily, so I kind of just have to hope that it all works out.
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Yeap. Actually we tell each other. It can be a lot of fun, thanks to that, I've tried new things that he wanted, and he's tried new things that I've wanted. I use to feel very awkward at first, until he told me it turned him on sooooo bad.... then I liked doing it. ;)
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i don't think it's a matter of confidence, i just don't like giving orders in bedroom - I'm kinda a bossy girl in general and I like to leave that behind during sex and let him take control. if he does something right, oh he'll know... and if he's really not doing it for me I might guide him with my hands or climb ontop and show him what I like. besides I like to see what he comes up with first.
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I tell him what I want and he tells me what he wants and we both work to please each other. It makes the sex so much better.
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i tell him or just move him where i want him. He was a little standoffish about the whole tongue in backddor thing, but he is ok with it now. ive noticed with him, when he is interested in something, he will mention it in passing conversation ahead of time. sort of like giving me clues.
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i do tell him hw deperately i want it and he loves it
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i do have the confidence but im just worried if i tell him how i like it he'll lose intrest and just stop and i dont want that to happen. cuase he has a totally different way of pleasure than i do :/
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Totally, but online is not the place to do it. So thankful that we are matched sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo perfectly in that regard.
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It depends on the person. With some people, yes, but my current partner prefers TV to sexy time and doesn't seem to want it much, so I don't even really feel like trying to tell him what I want.
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Wow Stormy! . Very interesting read!... This could be a book. . I love when my girl makes it known that she is turned on... I love talking to her during sex. . Sorry... had to answer this one.
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Ha! I feel like I want to tell the world! But that's just because how I want it is not generally acceptable by puritan society's standards. People need to stop feeling ashamed of what they like. Sexuality is such a broad spectrum and includes so many different things that to try to pin it down to m/f missionary is just silly.
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of course i do...confidence is very attractive in women and men both...i hate it when guys are insecure but if i want a guy to do something because he's either not doing it or not doing it right i have absolutely no problem with telling him how i want it
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Well, I haven't actually "done it", but when I'm messing around with my man, I usually tell him what I want him to do. Men love strong, confident women who know what they want and when they want it. From what I've heard, its a real turn on! So don't be shy; say what you want! Women deserve to be pleasured too!
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Yes, he cannot read my mind and every woman is different, what one likes the another one may not. If you do not communicate what you like you may not ever get it. If you can't tell the one you plan to spend the rest of your life with what you like, then why are you with them. There is a difference between criticism and instruction. Always be kind and patient. Tell them you are not critiquing them you just want to teach them what you like, and they ask them what they like. Two way street.
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Yes. We love each other and his goal is to pleasure me to the fullest possible. And vice versa.
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