You can love someone without being in a relationship with them. It sounds like you're going to be miserable as long as you're dating this girl. It's not like she's going to wake up tomorrow and say "Oh, you're right! I AM a total bitch! I'm going to be a saint from now on!" I know it's not the answer you're looking for, but if you're unhappy in a relationship because of serious personality flaws in the other person, it's time to end the relationship.

Ask her to go to see a therapist. If she refuses or the behaviour returns, end it. No one deserves to go through that. I have some personal experience in this regard and I let it slide for 2 years, with my wife. She is now my ex wife.

This is a call for tough love. meaning, if she does not or cannot realize she has a mental problem, then its up to you to step forward and take control. have you talked to her parents or are they around? chances are, her parents already realize her problems, since she is their child. You have one of two choices: verbally address the problem with your girlfriend. if she loves you, she will seek the help she needs, for your sake and hers. 2. if she is not willing to admit she has a mental health issue, its like a drug addict that refuses rehabilitation, it will never be better and you need to leave. This is what tough love is about. you can only do so much. if she is not willing to help herself, then you are destined for a lifetime of torture. are you willing to contend with this? Life is too short to be coupled with an abusive person. the world is full of good people. if this is not going to work for you, then severe the ties and look for someone else. Mentally and emotionally abusive people are good at pushing someones buttons. they manipulate and play on your emotions, in order to achieve their decisive ending. some people realize what they are doing, some people do not. Its your life. its your decision.

You can still love her as a friend.

my woman is abusive as well as violent. seems just when things are joyful, she cannot handle that joy and has to immediatley put a damper on things by acting out and flaring up. she is filipina, was raped and molested as a young girl, then denied security by her parents when they said she was being disrespectful when she tried to bring to light the abuse she endured. all in all, shes a basketcase, unable to communicate normally. I guess i'm resigned either to a life with her this way, or a life with her getting her way in court.

Your not helping her,by letting her continue to abuse you,your just being her tool she can push around and will do so as long as you allow it !! You need to realize YOU are WORTH alot more,Move on - SHE need's to decide,to get help, and you should stay away,Until she get's real help !! --- Pattijo

Your lucky she's a girlfriend, You have a choice to stay or get out. I understand that you love her and want her to get help. She will not get help until she wants help and sounds like this is an ongoing situation. You are bertter than that..no one deserves to live in an abusive relationship. I can't tell what to do, but I do suggest you seperate yourself from her, help where you can. Don't let her make your life miserable everyday.

I have been in this situation. It was very hard to walk away as I felt like I needed to stay to save him from himself. Blah Blah. I can tell you that when I did choose to leave, it hurt for about a month and it hurt bad. But tyen I started to heal and now it has been five years and I still wonder how he is, but I will never regret my decision. I couln't stay there anymore and I needed to be done worrying about his mental health. I feel better now and I have a fantastic husband.

Fixer uppers tend to be bad investments in the relationship department. One thing being older has taught me. People are pretty much who they are going to be by the time they are 25. Not a great deal will change. So if you cannot live with her as she is not, you might not ever be able to. Good call to protect yourself from abuse. It says bad things about your self-esteem to put up with an abusive relationship. Good luck!

Please, don't leave her. I know it sounds stupid and dangerous but she needs you more than anyone. If you leave her now, you would just destroy her more. Why not try talking to her about it? I'm sure she is remorseful of the things she said to you but she just cannot handle things. She cannot express that remorse and sincere apology. She loves you but she is having trouble expressing that in a positive way. yeah, she might be a wacko as some would say but she is like that for a reason. Try to understand that reason and help her. Please, do not leave her. I am like her too. I know how it is when you love someone so bad and you just cannot control your emotions and just flare up at him for no logical reason. It hurts me too and i do not know how to fix it. I just want him so bad and i want him to stay with me and help me. But i cannot do anything because he already gave up on me. I just have to toughen it up more and deal with it. Going back to your problem, just please don't leave her. Try to give her another change. Stay and help her.

I would take space from her. Give her a chance to get used to you not being as present. She might have a disordered problem. It could be serious and if it is, those things don't get better. Live your life free of that or you will have spent it being abused.

Stand up for yourself. You cant make her get help. Admit you are powerless... you can't control her or help her it seems. help her by helping yourself.

hit back!