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by Anonymous on July 20th, 2006

Anonymous

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Help answer this question below.

My boyfriend of over a year and I were going through a rough patch and I cheated, but we're back together now. He questions me that I cheated and I can't bring myself to tell him it's true cause the pain will be overwhelming. How do I tell

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Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

  • by Rannic on July 20th, 2006

    Rannic

    It's also possible that he's asking you if you cheated because he cheated and doesn't want to feel bad about it. So you could have an out. Either way, you've gotta tell him.

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  • by pinkpiggies on July 20th, 2006

    pinkpiggies

    Secrets are a bad thing, holding on to a bad thing is worse. And your past never stays behind you, it seems that you past always sneaks up and smack you in the face when you least expect it too.

    I agree with DARRYL61 100% â??Cheating or not, you will never have a lasting relationship unless it is based on honesty. Tell him.â??

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  • by Darryl61 on July 20th, 2006

    Darryl61

    Cheating or not, you will never have a lasting relationship unless it is based on honesty. Tell him.

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  • by Kiss A Fat Babys Ass on August 27th, 2009

    Kiss A Fat Babys Ass

    If you were broke up at the time then it wasn't cheating.If you tell him then it is going to open up a can of emotional worms.If you keep it from him and he finds out some other way,then it will be much worse.If you were indeed broke up,then I suggest you keep it to yourself,If not you just have to weigh the pros and cons.

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  • by Gone on August 27th, 2009

    Gone

    You said you're back together, so does that mean you were split up at the time? If you were broken up I wouldnt think of that as cheating

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  • by ficwriterpaul on August 27th, 2009

    ficwriterpaul

    Honesty is the mortor used to build a solid relationship. I really need to know more to give a good answer but I ask another question that may clear things up for you. Will telling him the truth hurt him? And one more. Do you want to hurt him. Honesty is important but the questions I just asked are as important if not more. You have a difficult decision to make and noone can help you.

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  • by Ron C on October 19th, 2009

    Ron C

    I have been married for 43+ years. We have had our troubles and infidelities. If that is the only problem you have, consider yourself lucky. If you constantly cheat, that's one thing. If you two weren't together and you didn't bring back a nasty disease, my suggestion is to just put it behind and work on your relationship. If you still feel bad about it; mentally give him a pass on his next transgression. You don't need to tell him about your decision. Just be forgiving on his next screw-up. He will think you are kind and forgiving and that will be the end of the problem.

    I don't like all the drama the younger set seems to be drawn to. Nobody is perfect and someone is bound to screw up in a long term relationship. Just remember your pain and save your partner from future pain. No one is served buy holding onto a grudge or guilt.

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  • by chick whisperer on October 9th, 2009

    chick whisperer

    you said you can t tell him coz "the pain will be overwhelming" so what you have to do is hit him with your car "accidentely", while he s on the ground screaming of pain just say "babe i m sorry but i cheated on you" it won t hurt as bad as the hit with the car

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  • by Djinn on September 26th, 2009

    Djinn

    Wait you said now you're back together so where you apart when it happend cause that's not cheating in my book.

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  • by Mr Mitchell on September 26th, 2009

    Mr Mitchell

    You need to go ahead and tell him so he will break up with you. You obviously could care less about him, and if you do care, that's all the more reason to tell him. Since he was a man and didn't cheat on you, don't you think he deserves to know that you think someone out there is better than him, and he is not worth your time?

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  • by Anonymous on October 9th, 2009

    Anonymous

    He'll have more respect for you if you do and you have the chance of having a longer lasting, more open relationship. However, you also run the risk of losing him. If you think that you're relationship is strong enough to move past it then I would definately tell him sooner than later.

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  • by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on September 2nd, 2009

    TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT

    this secret is like a knife in him covered in numbing solution. the knife will keep doing damage so long as it is in there but you won't feel it until you pull the knife out. the wound may already be fatal, but the longer you keep it in there the more likely that will be the case.

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  • by Anonymous on October 9th, 2009

    Anonymous

    tell him the truth, itll be better for both of you and if he really loves you, he'll forgive you

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  • by Puppys Kitten on November 3rd, 2009

    Puppys Kitten

    Honesty is best..
    If your bf cheated wouldn't you want to know. You need to tell him but its probably better not to go into too much detail. And say it in person...
    When you've told him, give things time and show him how sorry you are n that you'll never do it again. Try rebuild the trust

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  • by Anonymous on November 3rd, 2009

    Anonymous

    Telling your boyfriend the truth, at this point, will do more damage than good. If you didn't get an STD and truly don't plan on doing it again, then do your boyfriend a favor and spare him the drama.

    Telling him about your infidelity is more for your sake (to alleviate your guilt) than his, make no illusions about that. Believe me, he does not want to know.

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  • by Rabbit on September 2nd, 2009

    Rabbit

    Okay, im just gonna be honest with you. My boyfriend and I dated for 2 years and 3 months. I broke up with him a couple nights after i had my wisdom teeth taken out when i was on Lortab. We had only been broken up for a few days and i had cold feet and had been very curious as to what it would be like to sleep with another guy...so i did. Ive felt extremely guilty since that night. And ive desperately wanted my boyfriend back. Just about two nights ago he kept asking me out and i took him back despite my secret i was keeping from him. Only a few hours ago, i kid you not. i told him the truth. the pain WAS overwhelming and it was the hardest thing that i EVER had to do, but i knew i had to do it sooner than later. He was very upset and said some things that hurt me, but i hurt him as well.

    Honestly, the pain will be tremendous, and it will be difficult to even breathe. you wont know what to do and you probably wont know who to talk to.
    But if it makes you feel any better im in your boat.
    I did it and it was hard but im just praying to God that he can help me through it.

    If you want to talk my email adress is KelseyD524@gmail.com.
    Please do not hesitate to email me if you need someone to talk to because i will me more than willing to help you.

    I hope this helps prepare you a little bit. Just let him know that you did something bad. Let him know how bad it hurts you to even say it, and explain your reasoning for why you did it and how it happened before you really tell him because chances are he wont listen after he knows the truth.

    Hes going to be upset. But just remember that true love finds a way. Good luck.

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  • by Greggo on October 9th, 2009

    Greggo

    Never start a relationship with a lie! I'm sure after the hurt leaves him he well respect you for telling him the truth.

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