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by Anonymous on March 20th, 2008

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I know this guy who is home with his kid and his wife is fighting in Iraq. Call me old fashioned but I would never go for that. I would think to myself what kind of man allows his wife to be put in danger like that and just stays home. Any thoughts?

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Answers. 12 helpful answers below.

  • by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on March 21st, 2008

    Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

    Allows? What kind of man does one have to ask permission from is my question. I think it's great that she is doing what she wants and that he is supporting her.

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  • by APACHEmeansENEMY on March 21st, 2008

    APACHEmeansENEMY

    My thoughts are..yes, you are old fashioned.

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  • by Kitt-tastrophy on March 21st, 2008

    Kitt-tastrophy

    DO what?!?! The man does not "allow" his wife to do anything. She made the decision to be in the military and to serve her country and that's exactly what she is doing. He has no choice as to whether or not he will "allow" her to serve! And on top of that he's now a bad man for taking care of his children while she is honoring the commitment she made to her country? I'm sorry but that is horribly sexist!

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  • by ValentineHeart on March 21st, 2008

    ValentineHeart

    Well if she was in the military or on her way to joining when he met/married her, he can't really say anything. And isn't it just as hard for the women who have to stay home & worry about their men/husbands in the military? And if he didn't "just stay home" who would be with their kid? Do yo think he should join as well and then just dump the poor kid with the neighbors while both the parents are putting their lives on the line? If the parents even survive their tours, the kid'll have issues anyway as a result of being left home by both of his parents.

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  • by dogdogcrazy on March 21st, 2008

    dogdogcrazy

    I would think that he is a modern man. Supportive of his wife & her career, nurturing & loving to his child. I think that what works for each couple, is good for them.

    I personally, couldn't be a housewife, I tried it, but it just wasn't for me. I need the outside stimulus that job offers, and the contact with adults! No amount of PTA meetings or Mom & Me classes was able to satisfy that need.

    My brother is a house husband. He has a young son, 3yrs old, & his wife makes more in her career than my brother did, so they decided that instead of paying $1000 for childcare, he would stay & care for their child, while she worked. It works great for them, and I say, if it works, don't fix it!

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  • by hope and peace on May 19th, 2008

    hope and peace

    My thoughts would be that some people just aren't cut off for military service. I can name many men who would never survive in the armed forces, who would be more of a danger to themselves and their peers than to any enemy. Perhaps he is one of those men. They say opposites attract, so I would assume that she is the more dominant and agressive person in the relationship. I personally couldn't do it, and I would never want my daughters to either but I guess I'm a little old fashioned myself. My husband was in the Marines and luckily never had to do a dangerous tour. He was an athlete and ran for the Marine track and field team.

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  • by Zebulon on March 21st, 2008

    Zebulon

    I agree that I couldn't do it. I'm not sexist or anything, but I am a bit old fashioned and I couldn't bear the thought of my wife putting her life on the line like that.

    I won't condemn those who are cool with it, I just couldn't do it myself.

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  • by zaqes1 on March 20th, 2008

    zaqes1

    WELL, "MY THOUGHTS" ARE DIRECTED TOWARDS YOU, WHY ARE YOU BOTHERED WITH YOUR FRIENDS CHOSEN LIFE DECISIONS, HE OBVIOUSLY FELL IN LOVE WITH A VERY INDEPENDENT WOMAN, AND IT TAKES A STRONG PERSON TO SUPPORT THEIR LIFE STYLE, (WE DO HAVE A "VOLUNTEER" ARMY)SHE CHOOSE THE MILITARY AND WE NEED TO SUPPORT THE FAMILIES OF OUR SOLDIERS AS WELL AS OUR SOLDIERS.

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  • by BigDaddyBS on May 19th, 2008

    BigDaddyBS

    After reading your question, I had one view of you. After reading your responses to answers, I understand what you were saying. This is one of the reasons you have to critically look at your questions, as a fresh reader, not one who KNOWS what you are saying, but as someone who DOESN'T... Can it be misconstrued?

    The phrases "I would never go for that" and "i would think ... just stays home", when I first read it, said to me you were being critical of him. From your responses, though, I know you are not, but are saying more that you would not feel right if she were over there where it's relatively dangerous (even in the rear) and you staying home, working in a relatively safe environment and taking care of the child.

    Ah, the world is changing. Many women are now in dangerous jobs, some by choice, some because they feel they must, and some because it pays the bills. Many men are more "white collar" while some of their women are "blue collar". In the old days, it would most-likely be the other way around. In THIS respect, you ARE old fashioned.

    I DO understand what you're saying, though. And whatever works for each couple/family is right. And what's right for them may not be right for others.

    If my wife WANTED to become a cop, for instance, I would not stop her, even if I wanted to. Would I worry? You betcha. But think of all the women of the world who have done just that... "allowed" their husbands to do whatever job they wanted, and did their own thing - be it "stay-at-home moms" (one of the TOUGHEST jobs you will ever have!) or out in the workforce, somewhere.

    Just as those of us who are on SS Disability must say, when their wives are working in a factory... Get over it! ;-) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdaM8mxEBtY - doesn't allow embed)

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  • by little sprout on May 19th, 2008

    little sprout

    Men do it all the time and leave there wives and kids to go fight for there county. More power to her. If he supports her in this then there is no problem. She probably has the same reason for doing it that any man does, for her family and her friends and the right to live in a free county. As long as everyone is ok with the arrangement, and I am sure they talked about it before she decided to join then there is no problem

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  • by jennybabes44 on October 8th, 2009

    jennybabes44

    God forgive me, but I think its pretty funny!

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  • by Bart on May 19th, 2008

    Bart

    chances are she is in the rear with the gear.The government owns her, not him.

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