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by happyfive on July 18th, 2006

happyfive

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How do I get my 6-year-old to stop "parenting" his younger siblings?

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Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Namaste formerly future_health_educator on July 18th, 2006

    Namaste formerly future_health_educator

    By parenting do you mean disciplining or do you mean taking care of? If he is taking care of his siblings he may be afraid that you have too much on your plate and he is trying to take a load off. Sometimes we forget that children have big ears and big imaginations. They might just hear you talking to another adult about your day and totally misinterpret. I would reassure him that you can take care of everyone in the family.

    If he is disciplining his sibs I would simply say to him that all he needs to take care of is himself and to leave his brothers/sisters alone.

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  • by Answers101 on July 18th, 2006

    Answers101

    Firmly tell your 6 year old child that you're the parent and that it's your role to discipline his or her siblings.

    Tell your 6 year old that "hitting" his or her siblings is unacceptable behavior and that if he or she does not cooperate, then he or she will have to sit in time-out for 5 minutes.

    If this is ineffective, then you might need to increase time-out for 10 minutes.

    The key is consistency. If you let your child konw, who's in charge, then they will understand that you're the parent and the one in charge.

    Regarding, his or her teling his or her siblings that he or she wishes that they lived elsewhere, simply tell him or her that also is unacceptable behavior and you will not tolerate it.

    Explain to him or her that it hurts your feelings as well as his or her siblings' feelings as well and that is inappropriate, or bad behavior.

    I hope this helps!

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  • by Stormarm on December 31st, 2009

    Stormarm

    Only by not parenting him and his siblings yourself. He's doing what kids - especially first-born kids - do: immitating you. No words in the world will contrary your example. Nor should they.

    Older kids are supposed to help parent and shepherd the younger kids. Use it and guide it. It will also encourage and develop responsibility and maturity in him and in fact all your children. It will also teach the younger ones to respect ALL their elders and that all societies are intrinsically and unavoidably hierarchical, and they need to learn their place. It also builds family loyalty, trust, and cohesion.

    Other societies understand this; why has America forgotten it? Here in Thailand, there's no word for 'brother' or 'sister', instead they have a word for 'older brother' and another for 'younger brother', and one for 'older sister' and another for 'younger sister', and yes, the younger ones are supposed to submit to the older ones, and the older ones are supposed to look after the younger ones -- AND THEY DO!)

    This behavior is natural and appropriate. If you attempt to fight it, you will only frustrate and confuse him (and the other children), laying the substrate for neurosis and host of issues later in life. You will also basically be telling him (and the other children) you don't and can't trust him, and you don't respect him, (telling the other kids they shouldn't respect him either) and will leave him feeling impotent, useless, and resentful.

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  • by dazedandconfused on August 3rd, 2006

    dazedandconfused

    Obviously the 6 year old is just imitating you as a parent. That's what young children do! To me, I find this somewhat cute, watching little kids give "lessons" to even younger children. But it can be annoying depending on what he is saying or doing.

    Just speak to him in a calm voice and tell him, "Son, please do not talk to your brothers and sisters that way. Only mommy and daddy can do that. If you see them misbehaving or if you are concerned for them, let me know right away, and I will deal with it! You just have fun!"

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