You are making a good choice cause you choosed to give your baby up for adoption instead of having an abortion. By giving her/him up for adoption he/she has a change of a good loving, caring home.

Just believe in what you are doing, believe your reasons behind it. It won't take the pain away but try and think about a life that will be offered to your child that you wouldn't be able to give it. I was adopted and have since met my biological parents. My adoptive parents were great, had a fantastic life that my mother would not have been able to give me, but we have a great relationship. Eventually your pain will lessen to something a little more tolerable.

I'd wipe away every tear if only I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I respect you so much for the decision, the sacrifice, the love you are showing. I wish more people had your courage and maturity to make this decision. Love the life - the future - you are giving to both of you. Thank you. Tenderest thoughts, ~ Hopefully to adopt someday

Oh my! What a terrible situation. I'm so sorry. Just remember that your baby will go to a loving family that can afford to take care of her/him. I respect your decision. Many people can't have babies and really want to adopt! You'll be making someone very happy with your little one. And if feel you can't provide for the baby, then you are doing the right thing by giving him/her a chance for a better lifestyle. Good luck with everything! Remember, this too shall pass. *hugs*

From someone who has been in your shoes, 15 yrs. ago... The crying will stop, it doesn't seem like it will ever stop but it will..At least the everyday will. The pain will eventually ease but I can't tell you it will go away, because it won't, but it will ease. What helped me was to just keep thinking about the life she was going to be able to have because I loved her so much... You love your child so much that you want to make sure it has what you know you can't give it right now. People will tell us all the time how brave it is, how they admire us for being strong enough to do it, & how they know we must hurt... and it is wonderful to have people support you like that in your decision... But they have NO idea the struggles we have inside with ourselves about that decision and they have NO idea how empty we feel & how bad we make ourselves feel.. They just can't feel the hurt &, what I have come to realize, the torture we put ourselves through. You feel like you are the worst person in the world after you sign those papers & you think "how could I do that".... You have to turn those feelings around, because in all actuallity what they are saying to you is true... You are not the worst person in the world ~ You are a person who is putting their love for their child & the needs of the child first.. You are a person who is thinking of ONLY their child, who wants their child to safe, to be taken care of, to have the things that you may not be able to provide... and you will eventually realize the answer to that question you are probably asking yourself... I asked it of myself over & over, "How could I do that?" The answer is already obvious to everyone else who sees your strength, your pain, your tears.. The answer is because you love that child more than you have ever loved anything or anyone... That's why. I wish I could tell you the hurt & the pain would stop soon, but it won't, it's gonna take a while...and then it will resurface often, birthday, mother's day, christmas, etc. But when it does hit you on those days, or any other day, instead of crying with regret or questioning yourself, try to think about the fact that your child has received the best gift you could ever give them...not only does your child have the opportunities you couldnt provide, but your child also has more love than he/she even knows... It has the love of the family raising him/her and the love of a family they have yet to find. Something that I did to help me deal with it all was to start a notebook/journal for my daughter. i did this because I hoped, and still hope, that one day she will want to find me...and when she does I will be able to hand her 18 years of letters, pictures, quotes, etc., basically anything that made me think of her or helped me cope with missing her. I hope that maybe this will help her to understand that I didn't give her away because I didnt want her, but because I loved her so much. I want her to know that she was always in my mind and in my heart and that she was never "forgotten"...that she was loved more than she ever imagined. When I first started this notebook I wrote her a letter everyday, I told her everything i knew about myself, my family, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone & I did the same thing for her Father's family.. I was blessed enough to have a "Man", though be a young man, as we were in highschool, who stood by my side & went through the same pain as I did...He too started a notebook. As the years have went by the everyday turned to every week, every month, and now it's like I said when I think about her, miss her, or see a quote that makes me think of her...But I do always write her a letter, no quotes or little things, a real letter on her birthday. On Mother's Day I do the same thing, and though I am not her "Mother" I feel the need to express to her how grateful I am to her Mother, the wonderful woman who has raised her, and how much I love them both. It takes a long time to get to the point I am at right now, my daughter will be 15 in July... It seemed like it would take forever for her to turn 18... But 15 years have passed... This is the first year I have been able to talk about her, to be confident on the decision I made 15 years ago & to do it without losing it myself. The pain is still there, but it's a longing to see her, to hug her, to tell her I love her & to say to her, to her face, "I didn't give you away because I didn't want you or because I didn't love.... I gave you to 2 wonderful people because I loved you so much." I need to know she knows that...it's not the same pain I had 15 years ago. That pain will ease in time. But you can't let it pull you down. Instead start thinking of the day you get to tell him/her "I did it because I loved you." That will pull you through, it will make you stonger, it will give you a reason to fight all the pain that makes you depressed. I feel as if I rambled, and I did... But I wanted you to know you aren't alone & that it will get easier but you have to let it, you have to be the one to pull yourself up, becasue no one else can do it for you. Try writing to him/her and though you may not be able to give it to them now, one day you will, and when that day comes they'll know you were thinking of them & they'll know you loved them... They'll be able to see that you didn't give him/her away, you kept em in your heart the whole time. I wish I could hug you & let you cry, cry with you...I know sometimes that's all you want to do but it's hard to do with people who just don't "get" how your feeling inside. But please know there are people out her who do get it & if you ever need to talk or cry or what not please don't hesitate to let me know!!! You are a good person, a strong person, a person that loves their child & has given them the world!

It takes a wise & strong person to put your child's welfare above your own. Wow!

I don't feel capable of advising you after I have read Jlo's answer, it is a true life story written with much pain and love. All she is doing for her child is the right thing to do, try to follow her advise. Best regards and God bless you.

You should feel really good..you are not being selfish..I know it's hard but being a mother is hard...and you are a great mother to sacrifice what might make you feel good, to do what is best for your child..I wish you all the blessing in the world..you already gave that to your baby.....Much love

Oh im so sorry to hear that, but i admire you! you must be stronger than you think to be able to do this, you are also very unselfish to give your child a better life, to people who probably cant have kids of their own! think of the good things you are doing,.... the crying and the pain will ease.. you are very brave. I wish i could help in some way ((((hugs))))

Huge HUG!!! You should be proud of yourself for making a very unselfish decision! I can't imagine what you are going though, but my heart goes out to you! You are giving your baby a chance to have a great life! I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you it will all be ok! Just think about the decision you are making, you are being un-selfish, you are willing to let your child have a life that you are unable to give him/her at this time! Instead of keeping the baby and struggling knowing that you can't care for him/her at this time in your life. Good Job!! Stay strong!! Best of luck hunny!

Thank you all so so so much. I cant even express how much better all of you have made me feel. you have help me so much and im feeling alot better now and im getting an ultrasound on the 21 to make sure everrythings ok so from the bottom of my heart thank you all very very very much!!

I think giving a child up is actually the most loving, unselfish gift you can give a child. If you know in your heart of hearts you can't possibly care for the child, and the child will be better cared for with someone else - What greater gift can you give to the baby than a chance at a better life!!

o my i have a email surferbabie42005@aol.com its also my sn please iam me iam young n goin through the same thing n i would love to talk about it

there's nothing wrong with crying. you are grieving the loss of your child. if you believe that you're making the right decision, there's nothing else to do. I think you are doing what's best for your child, and one day may get to enjoy a relationship with that child again. Good Luck

Im sorry that you have to go through that. I miscarried at 22 and that was hard enough. Just believe that your have made a good choice. My husband and I are trying to adopt right now and I for one can say you ARE AWESOME!!! You have made a very deserving couple so so happy! Pls go out and live life before you start your family! They say it takes a village to raise a child and it really does!!!Good Luck!

well how old are you. maybe you could get some kind of welfare till you are old enough to get a job.just pray and ask god to help you. i hope everything works out for you

You are a very smart girl. You know that you can not give this child a quality life. You have a choice to make, and it is a good one. You will feel so much better when you know that your child can have a quality life. I admire you for doing this. By the way, I have 3 adopted children. They came from abusive parents. They have a much better life now. I believe the biological mother is happy that her children got a chance to have a good life.

Uh the only advice I can think of is to keep your legs closed. You're obviously too young for sex, and now your child will have to live a different life knowing they don't have real their parents because of you. You're selfish. Next time think before your actions.

Making the decision you have is difficult, and may take some time for you to thoroughly process before you're emotionally healed from this. It's okay to be upset, and it's certainly okay to feel depressed about it. It's a big deal, not like giving an old shirt away. It's also okay that you've chosen to put your baby into adoption. It is the mature and responsible decision to make given your circumstances. If you know you are not ready to take care of a baby, you've done the right thing. Have your cry, and let in that pain so you can process it, and move on.

all mums feel low after the birth of a baby and being young does not mean that you cannot take care of it, afterall you are their mother. could you not even think about trying? you say you cant seem to stop crying, this surely shows you that what you are about to do is not a good deciscion. give it your best shot, there will be hard times but it is so worth it. by the way, i had my first daughter at 18 and my sister had her son at 16 and we're doing brilliant jobs, you can too :)

Just remember you are doing what right for your child. Also someday that child will come looking for you and you can tell him/her that you gave them up for adoption because you loved them and wanted what was best a the time.

I cant even begin to imagine the pain you are going through right now, but just because it hurts doesnt make it any less right. You love this child, and righfully so. When you love someone, you want what is best for them, no matter how much that might mean that their life might not include them. If you truely believe that your child has more of a chance for a better life with being someone elses, then I commend your wise decision... Best of luck to you... ~+~

You're smart enuf to admit it and got the guts to do it. You'll make someone that can't have children (imagine how they feel) extremely happy. Those are the elements of a great person. We need more people like you.

You are going to feel depressed about such a thing, so I think one thing you need to do is realize that, unfortunately, that's part of what you'll be going through. Try to do things to get your mind off the situation as much as you can. I don't know if this will help, but I'm the mother of a grown son who is an adopted child. I have two children that I had myself. Not long ago I put together an adoption blog because I wanted to show what a solid, positive, experience adoption can be - and how much a person can love a child who is adopted, and in just the same way as they love their biological children. Again, I don't know if anything (or the way the blog, itself, is designed) will help you feel more encouraged or not, but this is the blog: http://adoptionlwarren.blogspot.com/ Of course, my son's birth story wasn't about having a mother too young - so that's something that is different with him. Just make sure, though, that this decision is your own, and that it is what you know is right for your baby. If you're feeling pressured by parents or other family members find someone outside your family (and in working in an agency/organization) that deals with girls in your situation. On the other hand, if someone outside your family is pressuring you; think about whether you have friends of family who can make sure you are not pressured. You need to know your decisions comes from your own heart and your own wanting what is best for the baby. This is unspeakably difficult, and I know that - in the end - it's something you need to get through. As an adoptive mother, though, I cannot possibly put into words how absolutely treasured my son has always been.

God will never allow you to do or go thru something you can not handle. I will pray for you and I want you to know that if it was not for young mothers like you in the I WOULD NOT HAVE MY SON TODAY! So remember you could be blessing others with your decision.

You are very brave and you are doing a great thing. You are crying because you are grieving the loss of your child and all the things you imagined for him. Its a natural process, I would be more worried if you weren't crying. Take heart, you are doing an awesome thing and he will grow and have a wonderful life and know you loved him because of what you are doing. Hugs from a Foster Mom

Know that there are many people here who are very proud of you for making such an amazing decision.

There are many forms of adoption out there (inculding open adoption where you can get pics and stuff so you know how your baby is doing) if your to young and feel you can't provide teh care your baby needs then your doing teh right thing. It's not easy and it will make you cry, your grieving a loss. Talk to someone at a counselling centre and see how they can help you

People that have been adopted usually have a wonderful home life because the adopting parents really wanted them. So, you can know that your baby will have a nice life.

It's a very good choice of putting your child for adoption and if you can, ask the people that are in charge of the adoption center if you can leave a letter for your child for him/her to read when he/she is older and adopted.

Being a mother is one of the most difficult jobs in the world (and most rewarding) I know a woman who was too young and decided to give it up but changed her mind in the hospital and raised her child. Babies are not toys, they are people who need help.

If you are too young (and it seems you know it) you should also know that the baby will be much better cared for by the adoptive parents than you would be able to handle on your own. Just to warn you, though. My ex-wife had a child and put it up for adoption when she was 17. Every year, around the time of the baby's birth, she got ... she'd say depressed, but it was really ... melancholy, wondering about him. She's since put her name in a number of adoption registries, in case he wants to contact her. Write a letter to your child, and leave it with the adoptive parents, and leave a copy with the adoption agency. Remember, too, you are, right now, going through postpartum depression, as your hormones swing back to dealing with only you. DO NOT make any decisions about yourself or your child without discussing it with your parents and at least one professional, experienced in young postpartum women, maybe even in the same situation as yourself. You've done a good thing for your child. You HAVE to feel good about that. Now you have to do a good thing for yourself, get help, and finish school. Good luck. ;-)

Have you thought of private, but open, adoption, where you can know and love the child and be a part of the child's life?

Dear One, I hope it is not too late to encourage you. It is normal to be sad. You might need some counseling and support. I am sure it is devastating. However, I want you to know that you are giving your child a profound and wonderful gift. You are doing something amazing for that baby. I am so proud of you. You will always love your little one and what you have done is the most loving thing you could have done.

You are a lot more humane then many other young parents who just end up killing their children. You are doing the right humane thing to give your child for adoption. It's much better than struggling. Just think about how humane you are acting and stop crying. Eventually when you grow up and get married you will give a birth a child who you will be able to keep, right?

I see from your profile that you've been able to keep the baby and you are now a happy wife and mother. I'm so glad everything worked out for you. For those who things don't work out so well and are faced with this, they can stand proud that they are doing the very, very best thing for their baby . . . giving the baby a father AND a mother which is sooooooo necessary to a balanced life. I was a single mom and thought I could do just fine, but in retrospect, I can see how much my 3 kids needed a dad. Can't be helped. Divorced and he liked kids but never wanted to be a "DAD."

I hope everything worked out for you. I noticed your question was posted awhile ago. If you are still having depressed feelings and such, just think about what a good choice you made for your child. I am an adoptive parent. I have some contact with the bio parents. They were not too young, but were neglectful and into drugs. So They were in no shape to take care of their child. They know that having someone adopt their child was the best thing for him, even though they did not hand him over to me. Instead he was taken from them and put into foster care. It took them a long time to realize that they were not good parents for him. And even though they could not parent him, they still love him. If you try and focus on a good choice you have made for your child it might help you. What kind of life would you have given your child? What kind of life will your child have now that they have been adopted? Instead of feeling bad about giving your child up, feel good about giving your child a good family.

You will be surprised what you can do when you have to. Perhaps that's whats upsetting you because you are giving up. The positive is that you are being selfless and doing everything to ensure your child has the best possible chances in life. I am adopted and in touch with my birth mom now. She wasn't in the right place to raise me and I m so glad I was adopted. My parents are the most loving wonderful magic people I will ever know. You are taking responsibility for things. You should be proud. Think of all the great things you are providing to who ever adopts the child and the child itself. Giving a child up for adoption is so hard No one can knock you for it. If they do they are wrong. Hugs to you

I am a mom of three. I gave birth to two and then adopted my third. I have regular contact with his bio mom. We dont have face to face contact, but we do send emails. I give her updates and pictures. Maybe you can have an open adoption. There are all sorts of levels of an open adoption. Also remember why you are giving up your baby for adoption. Most people dont give their babies up because they are selfish people, ussually its because they want whats best for the baby. In our case we adopted a foster child. We got him when he was three. His mom should have given him up for adoption, but she tried to keep him. She was homeless and then got into drugs and things just went down hill from their. I know she loves her son, but she just couldnt keep him safe and take care of him. She thanks me for taking care of him and loving him. I know that it is very hard for her sometimes. Like when we went to Disneyland. She cried hard because she had always dreamed of one day being able to take him there, but she knew in reality she would never of been able to do that. She knows he is happy and safe with us. She knows that he is having a good life, that is something she just couldnt give him. Think about what you want for your child. Can you give that to them? Can another family?

? Has the org that is handling the adoption mentioned "OPEN Adoption" at all. If not then look into that option, it might work out for you. I is the one way to "have your cake and eat it too" . In open adoption you CAN be in your twins life as an aunt or a friend of the family. 57 y/o adoptee last of three, first of seven

Find a way to keep your baby.

Isn't there anyone in the family that can take your baby? many Grand parents these days deside to take care of their kids kids.

hiya how old are you?? i was 15 having my daughter found it really hard and sometimes still do i cryed fover anything for weeks after ahving her but i got through it! i think you may have post natal depression go and see youre G.P

As a woman who can not have children, I say to you "THANK YOU". Thank you that you have chosen not only to give your child a better life, but also that you have chosen to give someone else the joy of holding a child in their arms, and allowing them to give that child all the love and nurturing that they have in their heart. It is so hard to adopt nowadays because young mothers-to-be are choosing abortion over adoption, so I take my hat off to you for your great courage. I cant imagine how hard it must be, I only know my pain of not being able to have a child and with people like you, I have hope, that one day and God willing, I will be a mother. Once again thank you, and God be with you in this very difficult decision.

IF YOUR FEELING DEPRESSED NOW, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FEEL EVERY YEAR WHEN A BIRTHDAYS COMES OR CHRISTMAS , YOUR BE THINKING WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE,YOU HAVE TO BE SHURE YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING AND WHEN ITS DONE THERSE NO GOING BACK. I WAS ADOPTED AND FOR ME IT WAS THE RIGHT THING MY BIRTH MOTHER DID, SHE WAS TO YOUNG HAD NO BACK UP FROM HER FAMILY, SHE WAS ALL ON HER OWN. YOU HAVE TO BE SURE.

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal. That doesn't make it any easier but still you are able to express this sadness. I assume that you have had several months to think about this and all your options. What a wonderful person you are to be able to put the little one first and make sure he or she has a good life. Please got to this website - (www.feelbetternetwork.com) The Feel Better Network. They have counselors that can help work out some of that sadness. They are professionals that really are super. It costs nothing and can only help you feel better about your decision. Good luck to you both!

I don't know if you already put the baby up for adoption but I do know there is a program where you can get the baby back after a year or something. It also authorizes you to see the child while they are place in the temp home.

FIRSTABLE..STOP CRYING..IT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU...SECOND..IF YOU DON'T HAVE OTHER CHOICE THAN ADOPTION...WELL...IT'S BETTER THAN SEEING YOUR BABY SUFFERING...DON'T YOU THINK SO?....BEING DEPRESSED DOESN'T HELP YOU NEITHER....GOD BLESS YOU...

why would you put your baby up for adoption i can underatnd if you got rapped or got forced to have sex by your boyfriend. but that was your choice to lay down with that one guy and go at it. you could have got on birth control at the time or before any of that happend. im sorry if i sound rude but im 18 and i have 2 kids i thought about adoption but i couldnt do that cause it was my choice to do that so i have to take action for what i did and take resposibility . Also im still in school i mean ya i didnt graduate on time with my class but im still working hard at it