Why should you trust him? He cheated on another woman with you. You have no guarantee that he wont get tired of you and find someone else. This is the problem with taking up with someone who had a track record for being unfaithful.

How do you trust again? Simple - dump the low-life you're settling for and get a man that's trustworthy.

I would say it depends on the friendship that IS there now, even when you were the other girl. Your with him now so you just need to let him know you will not tolarate cheating, but be tactful because if he loves you than he will treat you good- if he screws up than get someone you can trust without doubt.

You don't love him...you don't even trust him so how do you love him...Exactly you don't you just think you do.

If someone cheats once it doesnt make them a cheater, sometimes people cheat because its a reason to get out of a bad relationship. I have cheated and i always worried that my new bf would think the same as you, it is very difficult to say who would and who wouldnt cheat again and again.

I honestly don't think that you ever will trust him. And, not just because HE cheated on his previous girlfriend, but (forgive me for saying this!) because you were complicit in that deceit. Your part in that has pretty much forgone any type of deeper, truly meaningful and lasting relationship with him because you see this relationship as having been built upon a lie. And rightly so. It was. Before you can really have a full, open, honest and loving relationship with someone else, you first have to have one with yourself. You are ultimately deserving of sharing yourself with another human being who is worthy of it. And once you start to realize this fact, you will start to see the truth: Anything less is just not worth it. It has no meaning, at least not true love. You may feel temporary comfort by having someone next to you, but that's a fleeting and superficial feeling because there is no deeper bond that can be forged without trust and faith, in both yourself and your partner. My best thoughts and wishes to you for a happy and fulfilling life. :)

When you loose trust for someone, thats ground that is lost and will never be regained. The seed has been planted and it will always exist in the hidden regions of your mind and will surface as a reminder. Live with it or without him. Black or white no gray!

I was the "other women" for almost a yr and a half, now I am the women and have been for almost 4 year. We live together and he comes home everynight by 6, but I know how you feel. I cant say I honestly trust my man. I think its knowing that he did what he did with me makes the imagination run wild. Every lie he told to be with me, every secret phone call, it leaves that thoughts running wild in your head. There is no one right answer on if you can trust him again, the answer lies in can you trust your insticts to tell you what the right decision for you to make!

It doesn't work out this way too well usually. Have fun and stay together until you can't take it anymore, then learn the lessons from this experience and try a different way next time.

I have just broken up with my boyfriend. The reason i broke up with him was because he lied to me, and in a relationship you have to have trust. i was once told by a friend of mine that i hung onto a boy i hve liked for several years because i lusted him, and i felt i had to have him BECAUSE i had been waiting around for him and his girlfriend at the time to split up. it turned out that he was only using me and i was devasted. i have a question for you? by "other girl" do you mean he had a partner at the time you met him? and also did his partner know about you? if not, imagine how you would feel if there was another woman in his life that you did not know about? now thats the same situation that i have recently been put in, i thought i would rather move on to a more honest relationship. also we have to think about the fact that he was a sensitive person that did not want to hurt his girlfriend but wanted to be with you? well anyway good luck, all the best xx :)

Sweetie what makes you any different than the girlfriend he had before you?Now his ex is the woman he's creeping around with,you both just switched places.

you cant trust him. Not to sound cruel but this is something I have learned. The best thing you can give to the woman who cheated with your man... is HIM!

why would you trust him he is a cheater all the way dont put anything past him. BE CAREFUL

If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.

well since you were the other woman you deserve to get cheated on too... since u had a relationship with this man and you knew full well he was in a relationship... your just as bad as he is.. so oh well... let your heart get broken.... he will do it to you too!

You don't trust him because you know he's a cheater. You probably never will trust him, and you won't have a good relationship because of that. Granted, there is the occasional time that this type of situation works out, but it's not often. If you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, then you have to let go of the issue and just be with him. But, if you go on not trusting him he just might end up cheating because it's like being pressured into it. (If I'm accused, I might as well do the crime)

You can't ever trust him. How could you? This was doomed from the get go.

You shouldn't trust him... he doesn't deserve it. My best friend recently went through this. She was with a guy and it didn't work out so he moved on and had a new girlfriend and my friend became the other girl for a long long time. They later got back together and he cheated on her with his ex. If she would have walked away it would have saved her a lot of heartache. If I learned anything from her situation it's once a cheater, always a cheater. Every relationship I have watched fall apart has done so because the trust was lost. Find someone who is worth of your trust.

He has to earn your trust - the burden is on him. Trust is so important in realationships. You can have all the love in the workd for someone, but lack of trust will eventually errode that love and turn it to resentment. It works both ways too. You will get tired of questioning everything and he will get tired of being questioned. Having said that, you haven't exactly behaved in a trustworthy manner yourself. Just because you were not the one cheating on someone else, you were a party to it. Now this is assuming you knew he had someone else - not having the whole story makes accuracy difficult. Whatever the case - good luck. If you learn something from an experience, the time spent is never wasted.

Sorry since he cheated on his previous girlfriend with you. You will never trust him and why should you. I know i would not. A man capable of living a lie for six months is hardly good trust material. I would not be something I would be willing to chance but then I believe that once trust is broken it can never be repaired. After all he could have been honest and broken up with his previous girlfriend before he took you as a piece on the side.

Your guilt is what you are having difficulty with. Own it accept it and move on with your life. You could be the next one he cheats on but you don't have to be the next one somebody else cheats with. Apply the Golden Rule

Dump him. He's going to do it again.

never attempt to make your own ghost if you are too scared to face it... karma is digital now girl.. it comes in seconds..

I know how you feel and that is the thing you just have to either deal with it. Or move on and I know that loving him knowing it is so hard, but is your love enough to live with the thoughts and let it go?

you shouldn't trust him. he obviously has no problem lying and cheating on the ones he "loves"

its not him you need to trust it is yourself. there was not only one person who cheated on his last girlfriend there was two. no good can come of a relationship based on lies to begin with, im sorry but you can not have your cake and eat it. you have won, but seriously, what was your prize?

cheaters cheat.

this question is over 2 years old... good heavens..i am sure you dumped this guy for cheating on you at least 22 months ago.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you plain and simple

Well, he cheated on someone with you, now you are going to find out how it feels. As soon as he finds someone that he likes, he'll be cheating on you. I say once a cheater, always a cheater.

If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. You don't have a chance with this guy if he was cheating on someone else with you. Leave now before you really get hurt bad.

It sounds like you've already done the math. If he cheated with you, will he cheat on you? Habits are hard to break and he is likely to treat you just as you both treated his first girlfriend. Karma has a tendency to be like that. The question is whether he's worth it - is he worth keeping around and hoping that trust builds, or do you need to find somebody new, going about it honestly this time, whom is trustworthy from the start?

Always a tricky situation. but you have watched him cheat. It's not a case of you being at fault (well in some ways you are but not for the purposes of this discussion) - you KNOW he is not trustworthy. He has to earn your trust.

You can't. That's why I've always advised my friends, "Don't leave one woman for another." A friend saved his marriage by taking that advice. He had already moved in with a hot new cutie, and he was six seconds away from telling his wife of several years goodbye. When sex with the same person gets boring, it's exciting to hook up with a hot new model from the showroom floor. But she too might get boring in a month or two. This doesn't mean you'll get dumped. Try to keep the upper hand. You obviously have something he likes, since he picked you. Remember that, and do something healthy every day to boost your self confidence. Socialize with other friends (both genders), once or twice a week. It will keep him guessing.

That shadow of a doubt is the price you'd have to pay in a relationship of this kind. All you can do is give it time.

He's not the only one who cheated, you know. You were the other woman, so why should he trust that you won't be a hussy? I'm not suggesting that you are, but it takes two to tango and you are a hypocrite if you suddenly want to play it holier than thou.

the GOOD thing about the PAST is that its the PAST!! so let the past be the past && MOVE ON.. In order to trust him you just have to let go of the reasons, why NOT to trust him. If he ends up cheating on you (trial and error).. HE'S A CHEATING ASSHOLE but be smart don't cheat when your suspcious or if you already know.. so you can be the "GOOD PERSON" when you confront him of his ISSUES... && then you can go & do ya thang..lol then in the end he will relize that he lost something good.. && btw ladies NEVER EVER seem like you Can't Live Without him or Be way too clingy.. the fact is that he knows he could easily lose out if he acts stupid.

cosigns with everyone, he left her for you, what makes you think that he wont leave you for someone else?

NEW FLASH!!!..A leopard never changes its spots my dear...

Well if he cheated on his ex girlfriend with you, who's to say he won't cheat on you with a new "other girl".... is he worth trusting?

i kind of agree with this....if you knew that you were the other woman at the time, he will probably do this to you as well....be careful....Brian.....

A relationship has to be built on trust. This guy surely wants to be with you because he is with you now. What you must do now is trust him. But don't trust him completely for now. Try to build your trust in him by time. By time you will know if he is treating you right because you can feel that. But always keep your eyes open....

you can trust all you want but sooner or later he is gonna do the same thing to you. do not kid yourself.

This will not be easy. Cause you were the other girl you will constantly wonder who's going to be the other girl next time and if there will be another. Guess thats why my mom always said to me to remember that you cant build your happiness on the sorrows of an other...

try dating a man that is not a cheater

you two deserve each other,have a nice day.

Why should you trust someone who has shown he is untrustworthy. He cheated on someone with you, he'll cheat on you with someone.

well he showed you from the start that he cheats, so you already knew about that. if you love him than you'll just have to find a way to trust him. and don't be too suprised if it actually does happen..

You are not worried about trusting him. You are haunted by YOU.

Dump him. You will trust with whom it is worthy.

you've gotta trust your gut on this one. cheaters are more likely to cheat than non-cheaters and you know this. he is almost assuredly going to cheat on you, too. i think that distrust is fine when i'm held captive by a cell of taliban terrorists. but, when i leave that environment and the people and i return to my kids and wife and mom and dog, there is where trust ought to be.

This is very funny to me! You went out with this guy for 6 months, knowing that he was cheating on his girlfriend, and now you hope he's not cheationg on you?? That is hilarious!!! You can already trust him, no problem: he's a cheater and you KNOW it. Trust in that, and just have fun. Loving him is fine, just don't be one of those pathetic people that confuse your love for him with his being trustworthy. He is NOT trustworthy, and you already know it!

I just wonder if you cared this much about the feelings of the girl YOU stabbed in the back! Yes dear, YOU helped him stab her. Dont make it out as if he did this alone.

I do believe that a cheater can become a recovered cheater if they really WANT to. But they need to be committed to change and seek professional help to understand fully the underlying reasons they cheat and do the necessary work to grow out of those behaviors.

god ive heard this question being asked sooooooooooooooooo many times

I kinda feel if he does you can't really say anything about it, and that's a bad place to be in. I don't know that you CAN trust him to not do something you know he's done and have actually helped him to do.

WHYYYYY!!!?? Why would you EVER want to be with someone who cheats? What makes you think he wont cheat on YOU!? get a G R I P !!

to truly trust again you need first a situation in which can rely on their trust and see what happens, i too have difficulty with trust. you are not alone

Why should you trust him? He did it to the other girl, he will probably do it to you. It never pays to be the "other". The karma of it will come right back at you.

Well the best rule of thumb Honey, if he will leave someone for you, He will leave you for someone! Love is not something you fall into. Love is something you choose. To make a relationship work you have to choose it everyday. Sometimes it is hard to choose to love a person that just seems to be standing on you last nerve. Nevertheless that's what it takes. You should have left him far behind when he went for you anyway. Knowing that he had someone else should have been a big stop sign. I'm sure that you would not want someone doing that to you. Now many people are hurt and there is no turning back. Get out now before any one else gets hurt. Remember this lesson and don't fall for it again. Hope this helps....Karla

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." there you go read the 7th line.

Heya I was in same situation. I'm going to tell you my story to show you that there is hope. The boy in my story did eventually ask me out and it took a bit of courage to fully trust him. There was a point in time where I was the same, he couldn't make up his mind and it hurt a lot. He knew how I felt but then he had 2 girl friends in the time period and a sort of relationship as well. During it all he just wasn't happy. The whole time I was thinking I know I can make him happy if he would just wake up. In fact it took him until guy asked me out for him to realise, by which time it was too late. I spent two realitively happy months with my new boyfriend but the spark wasn't there so we broke up. It took him a while to get there but he asked me out. The trouble was he had a small history for being unable to commit (rumours of cheating). I wanted a stable relationship so I was worried but the bane of his last relationship was that his girl friend didn't trust him at all and wouldn't talk to him. He got to the point where I was so frustrated and they broke up (his ex doesn't really like me). I realised that in order for the relationship to work I had to trust that he would care about me enough that he wouldn't cheat or ditch me when he saw someone better. He and I talked extensively on that subject and I told him that if either of us cheated we were to tell the other so it could be resolved. I did this because even though I would be gutted it can still be fixed and the trust he had lost would have to be earned again. Comunication is the key as it is with everything else. It's hard but if we know that the the person we love truely loves us back they will always try to do what's best for the both of you and will not only accept your own mistakes and flaws but expect you to do the same.

LMAO!!!!! What the hell did you expect??? If he can cheat on his ex it certainly means he can cheat on you too.

Sorry girl, but you just got a taste of your own medicine. I don't feel sorry for you. If he cheated with you on his last girlfriend, he can cheat on you too. Maybe you can learn this as a lesson. It's horrible to be cheaten on. And you don't even know half how horrible, as so far you are only just experiencing the paranoia from it, not yet the real thing. Think about that the next time you like someone who is already in a relationship.

Your real problem is several things. One is that he already proved that he has a hard time being honest. It took him 6 months before either he told the other girl or he got caught or she just dumped him. When you really like someone it shouldn't take that long for him to decide. Its not the cheating but the lying for so long that should really bug you and the fact it took him 6 months of testing your commitment before he would jump ship. I never cared for guys who wanted a test run like they were buying a car. Your other problem is your relationship is built on a foundation of lies. That is a horrible way to start a relationship. You will always have a hard time trusting him and he will have a hard time dealing with your mistrust. Third is the fact you were girlfriend number two for six months doesn't say much for your self value. And lastly, you know if he felt for you what you felt for him, it wouldn't have taken 6 months for him to choose you. That is probably what is really bugging you. I know that is what would bug me most. I like being number one. I never settled for number 2. I would chuck him and find someone who doesn't have a problem with making me number 1. My sister did as you did and totally fell for this guy. He ended up back with his ex and married her. My sister never got over him and today is 56 years old and no kids (she wanted a family). Let go before its too late. And I agree with jbknic, Love isn't something you fall into (that is either a crush or lust). Love is something you create. Good Luck!

Oh, no. This is the lesson you have to learn the hard way. You didn't see it as a problem when you were going out with him and he was with someone else. Now you have to pay the price to feel what the other girl felt. Hold on tight. The ride is a bumpy one.

Take is as a learning experience. What is so special about you and then what happens when someone more special comes along? This paranoia will always be with you.I think guys like that arent worth it. Maybe you should try and get away from that relationship, be single and meet someone when you are single. xx

2 dogs another bitch would come barking and take dogshit out of your hands unless u stepped in it already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont think you can. he cheated on another girl because he got tired of her and liked you. this is not a lack of love. he may have actually loved her. and he may actually love you now. it is a lack of integrity. lack of integrity is a character trait, and is ingrained in his character. its not something that you are ever likely to change. dont take a chance on him. get rid of him before its too late. i speak from experience. my little sister is going through a relationship just like this now, and has been struggling for more than a year. all she is doing is torturing herself. she will never be able to trust him.

you really didn't see this coming? i've heard someone once say "You lose em the way you get em" in this type of situation i can see why.