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by Anonymous on July 6th, 2006

Anonymous

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My boyfriend is very cynical and is constantly negative about everything, and even though there is a lot of truth in what he says, I am sick of hearing him repeat it. How can I tell him I don't want to hear these things?

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by MasterS on October 3rd, 2009

    MasterS

    I would have to say if this is not the type of person you want to be around you should tell him this, and if he doesn't change (which i doubt he will) leave him.

    People don't tend to change things like this, its what makes us who we are, and to be honest we shouldn't have to change like this, just find someone your compatible with or at least can tolerate.

    It is possible he loves you enough he might try to change this about himself, but let me tell you this type of behavior is very hard to walk away from.

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  • by cyd-ly on July 7th, 2006

    cyd-ly

    Ask him why he is so negative. Then tell him that you don't want to hear about things bugging him and that you simply don't want to hear all of it. Tell him Straight up.

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  • by BROADWAYTHECAT on October 3rd, 2009

    BROADWAYTHECAT

    you tell him, straight forward that you can't take it and that as soon as he starts in, you will leave...and then you must do it...you must leave the room, the house, the resturant...where ever you are, you must get up and leave...always have your own transportation so you don't have to put up with this... if you live with him, be prepared to spends some bucks on hotels...when you are sick of doing this, then you end the relationship completely...unless you just want to save yourself a whole lot of grief and skip to that part now.

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  • by harlekkin on October 3rd, 2009

    harlekkin

    You need to listen more closely maybe and read between the lines.
    I know it's annoying and probably not healthy for either of you, but potentially his behaviour could be symptoms of anxiety or depression disorders.

    Being cynical and negative is of course not a disorder, but I could imagine that it may be a release for him to talk about all the "negative" things in his life, and around him.

    Try helping him rather than blocking him.

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  • by Hillbilly on October 3rd, 2009

    Hillbilly

    Simple, Say; SHUT THE HELL UP!!

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  • by xxx on November 14th, 2007

    xxx

    I have the same problem. I've been avoiding him lately 'cause I'm sick of it. It stems from ignorance. All I can say is that you let him know that it's not okay for him to act like that around you. Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and stressed. If he can't accept that and respect your wishes, then I'd say there might not be much else you can do. Except.... termination.

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  • by albeli on October 3rd, 2009

    albeli

    i thought it is just my problem... my husband is like that..to me this is very very crucial situation.because the guys might have faced many negativity in past which reflects in their behavior now..and for us it becomes hell and stressful. and if we dont listen to them they feel we are ignoring him and this might spoil relationship..i am going to try this:when he starts negative speech i am going to tell him everything is fine..and i might engage my mind somewhere else..just to stop arguments and ruing my emotions..tell me if this is the right way to handle this..

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  • by just for you on October 3rd, 2009

    just for you

    you know this is the worst condition to be ever faced by a girl.it is irritating like hell.the most irritating part is we have to listen to him because he has no one else with whom he can share those senseless sensible things with.we cant say anything because if we say we ll be bad in front of them and we feel guilty in our own eyes.
    my suggestion for this is before he starts talkin about the shit you start talkin about something which you like or something romantic or future discussions and keep nagging it so that it ll cheer him up boosts his morale and makes you happy...have a smilin life yaaar...you keep up evrythin ll be goin on in your way... :) reply if you agree to this thx

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  • by Mister_Bromyde on February 18th, 2010

    Mister_Bromyde

    Withhold sex until he stops.

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  • by Anonymous on February 18th, 2010

    Anonymous

    When he says something negative, counter it with a positive. One of two things will happen. Your optimism will begin to rub off on him, or the trick will act as a form of aversion therapy, and he'll stop saying negative things because he doesn't want to hear the positive things.

    If, OTOH, you favor a more direct approach, then be light-hearted about it and just say something like, "You're bringing me down, man!" Jokes diffuse negativity.

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  • by aiar on February 20th, 2010

    aiar

    Advise him to join a progressive 'liberal' association.

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  • by WhatsRealandWhatsNot on March 5th, 2010

    WhatsRealandWhatsNot

    Tell him as much as you love him, him beeing negitive puts you in a bad mood and pisses you off. Just tell him to stop, and if he doesnt, break up w/ him.

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  • by thatsJustme on March 5th, 2010

    thatsJustme

    open your mouth and tell him as nicely as yu can....i did this , could not take it anymore....it worked....he got better......he'd grin , it was hard to 'hold his tongue'....:)

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  • by Marky Mark on February 7th, 2010

    Marky Mark

    Tell him to stop nagging...that's your job. ;-)

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