by Dustin Ferg on March 7th, 2008

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I intercepted a message my wife wrote to a friend that said she just married me for "safety" and didnt have an awe inspiring love. I confronted her about it and she said it is just because she was scared of me leaving her like her last husband,make sense?

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by shammers still slogging along on March 7th, 2008
Yes, it makes sense. Lots of us bring "baggage" to relationships the partner has nothing to do with. It's not important how she felt when she married you, but how she feels now. Counseling.
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by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 9th, 2008
Dustin, I am so sorry that you have to learn about this now. You are a young guy, you deserve better than someone who doesn't love you fully. This whole situation is heartbreaking, I feel for you.
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- Good answer. He seems to really like her, too! :(
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
- This man is 20 years old, in the military and trying to get his life on track after a DUI incident. He married a woman he loves and has a step-son and he can't trust her for a minute since he went to the base. I have no idea why some women are so selfish and cunning.
  
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  by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 9th, 2008
- Wait. I read his question over and it seems like.. maybe.. just maybe.. she married him before he left so that he wouldn't leave her so she could still be with him when he got back. Maybe that's what she meant by "safety" since she was scared he would leave her like her 'last husband'. Then again, why would the "didn't have an awe inspiring love" be there?
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
- I want to slap the shit out of Dustin's wife and Neal's fiance. What is with these selfish, wicked women? A man can't leave them alone for 10 minutes before these attention whores seek out the first man that comes passing by. When a man has a good and loyal woman, he has a treasure.
  
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  by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 9th, 2008
- If you actually slapped them that bad, I wouldn't blame you!
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
- The more I hear about the actions of women, the more I believe the video for "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5 is right on target. These women are setting these other guys up for a nasty smack down. What is to prevent Neal from going to the University to shoot up the "boyfriend" of Barbara? What stops Dustin from arriving home with a pistol and blowing out the brains of the Internet lover when he finds out where he lives? I mean honestly ladies, do you feel the need to put a man in a grave? Hasn't anyone heard about "Crimes of Passion"?
  
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  by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 9th, 2008
- I don't think I've seen that one. I think men definitely have it harder in the society we live in, though.
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
- Your story reminds me of George Wilson's wife in The Great Gatsby. His wife ended up dying and he went and killed the guy he thought killed her, even though she'd been cheating on him with some other woman's husband. Her cheating on him was the reason she died anyway, because she thought the man she was having an affair with was in the car. He ended up killing himself as well. It's too bad he was the only faithful married person in the whole book from what I remember.
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALCsqz-TbFk here it is
  
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  by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 9th, 2008
- I can't watch it on this computer, but I'll probably come back to it later.
  
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  by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
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by JTP on March 7th, 2008
It makes sense, though not in a good way.

It can be taken in many different ways, she may be talking about economic safety, or relationship safety (meaning she married you to keep you), or possibly something completely different.

Either way, you should walk with a light foot on how to approach the manner and how you take it, it could be nothing, or it might not be.
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by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on March 7th, 2008
So, basically, she was just confirming what she had said in the email???
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by BMEND on March 12th, 2008
I does make sense, to a crazy person at least. You should talk to her more about her last husband and find out what went wrong in that marriage so you two can try to fix it.
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by ryanwareham on March 7th, 2008
Sounds like you're in a loveless (at least from one side) marraige mate. Not an enviable position from any perspective.

That is not a valid reason to marry someone - if you (plural) are truly in love , there is no fear of leaving. I would recommend counseling and, despite the fact she may not like it very much, considering finding someone who actually loves you. Your life at home will improve if you have someone who loves you there (whether it's your wife or a future person).

I am in no way an advocate of cheating, don't take that from this, but really, take a look at where you are and where you want to be.
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by AnonymousGirl on March 9th, 2008
It makes sense to me. I don't think that was very nice of her, though.
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by somewhere Pll loves her dawgy on March 7th, 2008
Her response makes sense - from someone getting 'busted' and then when confronted goes for damage control.

Her response to you was deflective and manipulative. But it also confirmed what she had written in the message.

It effectively puts her in the victim role leaving few options for any further discussion or reassurance.

Frustrating for you. Convenient for her.
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I intercepted a message my wife wrote to a friend that said she just married me for "safety" and didnt have an awe inspiring love. I confronted her about it and she said it is just because she was scared of me leaving her like her last husband,make sense?

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I intercepted a message my wife wrote to a friend that said she just married me for "safety" and didnt have an awe inspiring love. I confronted her about it and she said it is just because she was scared of me leaving her like her last husband,make sense?

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