This is what happend: Me and my "mother-in-law" got into a really big argument about a year ago, then we started talking again about8 months ago! She is really getting on my nerves again because she acts like shes my sons mother, even when were around! If we tell him no, she say its ok and then tells him no when she wants! The other day us 4 went out 2 eat, i wanted 2 order sprite 4 my son (he doesnt like juice 2 much and sprite doesnt have caffine in it) but then she said "get pepsi, he likes pepsi!"!?!! Pepsi has caffine in it which is bad 4 babies! She gives him tea and pepsi all the time when he goes and stays with her which is about 1 time a week, she cusses like crazy around him and when we got into that argument, i told her i dont want her cussin like that infront of him and she said "dont tell me what i cant do!" She does so much stuff and its really makin me very mad but shes the type of person that if u say the smallest thing 2, she'll flip out! I cant hold it in anymore, but i cant say ANYTHING because she'll go crazy! What should i do?!?!?

Well you are the mother, it is your job to protect your child, and to raise the child as you see fit. Tell your Mother-in-law, that if she does not respect you and your wishes, she will not see the child. You have to stand up for yourself.

...if the grandmother is not harming the child, just irritating you, I wouldn't worry about it.... ...to get the grandmother permanently off your nerves, try to see her as only one way - perfect - I know this can be hard but it will stop the arguments and release your nerves so you can focus on having fun, enjoying your life... ...if you find that you can't see her as perfect, then I suggest you consider that any other seeing will keep you tense negotiating this and that in your thoughts....; if you'd rather chill out and relax about your life, see her as perfect, see all of her behavior as an outpouring of love....; you might be rather amazed by how the grandmother begins to interact with you when see her this way....

You should be your sons mom. Your B/F needs to stand up to his mom. If he won't or if she still won't listen then, make sure your little boy can't hear this, you tell her. "This is my son, if you can not respect me enough to follow the rules I have set for my son, you will not be spending anymore time around him.""It's hard enough to raise a child to have respect for their mom and dad, I will not allow you or anyone else to undermine my athority with my son"! Then very calmly pack up your little son and Leave. and if she calls, ask her what her decision is! Be firm, I hope your B/F will back you!

Just do things that a mother should be doing, my dear - protect your baby, keep him away from things that do harm. Men are hopeless in child-care and they are much much less caution in minor stuffs and shortsighted in some point. They don't see how it would affect on a child. They could be good daddy to play with the kid but don't rely on Men when it comes to child-care. Grandparents showing their love to the kid by just giving what the kid asked for. They won't see "good" or "bad" for your kid. If you son MUST stay at least a day with your in-law, then you have to do alot post-education to your son. Telling him what's right and wrong, and make sure your son get your point. I know it is frustrating, but you MUST do. For the cases like the Pepsi incident, you must stand firm and say "NO" to your kid (not to your in-law). You have to teach your son listen to YOU. That's a kind of moral behavior training to your son, which is very useful for both you and him on many areas. Hope this help. If it is not a MUST stay with grandma, then may be just a weekly dinner gathering instead of a full day or overnite stay. This may eliminate some conflicts between you and in-law. I understand you may not want your son fully seperate or disconnect with his grandparents. Afterall, it is a fortunate thing for your son to have both parents and grandparents.

Punch her in the ear

Avoid her as much as possible. If your boyfriend won;t stand up to his mom, he won;t interfere with you either. You cannot, I say CANNOT change her. You have to decide what YOU are going to do differently so that these things don't happen. Let your boyfriend go to dinner with his mom alone. TAKE CHARGE. If this causes problems with your boyfriend, there;s gonna be a lot more to come in the future. I;ve been there and done that. It doesn't get better.