I spent the past two years and $25,000 in a custody battle with my ex over our 4 yr. old son. I finally received primary custody. However, my ex vows to appeal this until he gets 50/50 custody. How can I stop him dragging me thru court? We are in PA.

Offer Bird Nest Custody

BIRD NEST CUSTODY

It’s a form of access or custody where the children stay in the former family residence and it is the parents who rotate in and out separately and on a negotiated schedule.

The children simply live at "home" and the separated or divorced parents take turns living with them there, but never at the same time.

The core element of this arrangement is that each parent maintains a separate residence where they live when it is not their turn at the "bird's nest". When one parent arrives for his/her designated time, the other vacates right away, so as to minimize or eliminate the presence of both at the same time. The separate residence could be a rented room, stay with friends or relatives, or the parents could share the cost of renting a two bedroom apart, with each having a secured room.

At times, bird's nest access can be coupled with specified access with the other parent say, for example, for dinner one night a week.

Sometimes, this form of access or custody will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority at which time, one parent either buys the other out of their interest, if any, in the former family residence, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.

The arrangement can be expensive as it generally requires that three separate residences be maintained, the "nest" and a separate residence for each parent.

The concept is somewhat novel and appears to have as its origin a Virginia case Lamont v Lamont.
In Canada, Greenough v Greenough was a ground-breaker case in that the Court implemented a bird's nest custody order even though it had not been asked for by either party. Justice Quinn, in Greenough stated:

"In Lamont ... the court made a bird’s nest custody arrangement in which the children (aged 3 and 5 years) remained in the home, with the mother staying in the home during the week and the father on the weekend. I think that the benefits of a bird’s nest order are best achieved where the children are able to stay in the matrimonial home, particularly if it has been the only residence that they have known....

"Time and time again I have seen cases (and this is one) where the children are being treated as Frisbees. In general, parents do not seem to appreciate the gross disruption to which children are subjected where one of the parents has frequent access. In this regard, I do not believe there must be evidence that the children are suffering before the court is free to act. To me, it is a matter of common sense. At the risk of falling prey to simplistic generalities, I am of the view that, given a choice, I do not see why anyone would select a living arrangement which involved so much movement from house to house."

http://tinyurl.com/GiveKidsAChoice

So are you male (like your profile says) or female?

Damn sad when people waste 25,000 bucks on court litigations when that money could have easily went towards the child's collage education when he's old enough. I feel your pain as I have went through something similar but with my 12 year old - Now because she is old enough to say where she wants to go he's swinging at the air. Your son is only 4 and not old enough to say here or there yet - The only thing you can do is keep the fight going... until one of yous breaks and says "FINE!" He lost primary custody for a reason I don't know why a person would just keep friggin' fighting...

You can't stop him unless you give in to him. Is there a good reason he shouldn't have shared custody? I don't want an answer, just want you to think about it. It works for some couples. Anyway, good luck.

Is there a good reason why you don't want your child's father to have 50/50 custody? Is he a pedophile or something awful? It's hard to answer this question without knowing why you wasted so much money that could have gone to supporting your child, his future education etc. if you had a fair 50/50 arrangement.

You will not have to go to court again if you have a good attorney. There is no need for you to be present. You should also petition the court of an advocate for the child, to stand up for his rights.

I went through this for the last two years. It is very gut wrenching. I spent a ton of money and finally won everything. I'm sure he will try to drag me down again. Keep doing everything right and a judge will see that you are a great parent and the child should remain in your care most of the time.

No, in the USA, you are allowed to sue as much as you like.


Why shouldnt he have 50/50 custody, he is their father?


I hate when people play these kind of games, and use the kids as pawns, in their mental games.