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by dngertrain on February 22nd, 2008
i have people constanly at Walmart ask me, "excuse me, do you work here" depsite my badge being right in front of their eyes.
by Veritas cant turn down a woman in red on March 3rd, 2008
So... uh... are you going to call the police?
I am a lifeguard, wearing a bright white shirt with a bright red cross and letters above and below the cross saying "LIFEGUARD". I am holding a buoy and sitting in a chair that says "LIFEGUARD". A woman comes up to me and says: "Excuse me, do you work here?"
by albert nonymous "A" nonymous for short. on March 3rd, 2008
While working as a horseback guide in the mountains we encountered a large bear (about a 400 pounder) This woman from New York hands me her camera and says "Will You take my picture while I go up and pet the bear?"
This as a wild bear mind you.
Luckily he didn't stick around very long as I believe she really was dumb enough to approach the bear had he stuck around.
by uraseasquirt on February 22nd, 2008
there was this guy who was fascinated by the idaho potatoes and so he was asking if they grew on trees and i said no they grow in the ground.. and he thought for a moment and was like if they grow in the ground how do you find them?? i was like are you serious?? because this was a like 45 yr old guy.
by planet_spin on February 22nd, 2008
You say:
"The dolphins are wild animals so DO NOT even try to touch them" and the other person says: "but how will I be able to ride them if I can't touch them?"
by FreshApples on March 7th, 2008
i was stocking Gallons of milk when an old lady came up to me and said, "Do you know where I can find milk?"
by Someguy on February 22nd, 2008
When I worked at a bar, a woman demanded that I call the cops because someone stole her weed.
When the cops got there, laughing, the woman produced the pot, claimed it was hers and was hauled off to jail.
by Kteachers Pet on February 16th, 2008
Can I pass the fingerprint screening (to volunteer at the school) if I am charged but not yet convicted of a felony?
by mb4877 needs a nap on February 16th, 2008
"How many douches can I use at one time?" I explained to them they shouldn't be able to taste it.
by Bowser on March 7th, 2008
I could write me a book on stupid customer sayings that I've heard. I am a manager in a restaurant, and I had one guest ask me,
"Do you carry diet water?"
Um...there's no such thing
by girlygirl on March 5th, 2008
I worked at the front desk at a hotel in vegas and people asked me all the time " Do you live in the hotel ? "
by Arisztid on March 3rd, 2008
"Why do you HAVE to wake me up at 5 am to draw my BLOOD?"
Me: "because the doctor ordered a daily CBC at 5 am. You can always refuse." The patient does not refuse but...
The next night the same patient: "Why do keep waking me up at 5 am to draw my blood"?
Me: "because the doctor ordered a daily CBC at 5 am. Speak to my supervisor if you have a dispute or you can say 'no' and I go away" and I hand them a card with my supervisor's number.
Next night, same patient, has not spoken with anyone to cancel the draw: "Why do you KEEP WAKING ME UP AT 5 AM??"
Me: "because the doctor ordered a daily CBC at 5 am. If you object, speak with the doctor or refuse the draw" which they usually do not do.
Ad infinitum and said by more patients than I can remember. All they have to do is refuse the draw and speak with their doctor. Nooooooooo, they have to bitch and whine at me.
And, of course, the standard "are you here to draw my blood?" when I walk in in my lab coat carrying my phlebotomy tray. "No, precious, I am here to dance the light fandango with you".
I never say it.
by Miss Cookie Monster on March 3rd, 2008
Whats in the chicken and mushroom pie?
by Robin Of Locksley on February 24th, 2008
"This salmon tastes too fishy"
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on February 16th, 2008
I could write a book..after 31 years with customer service at an airline.
"Would you like a window or an aisle seat?"--YES
I also had a man run up to my counter (It was late at night and there was just myself and a very pretty woman working)..anyway he ran up to the counter so out of breath that he was panting and said to my colleague "I'VE GOT A REALLY HARD ONE FOR YOU!!"..I knew I would break up if I looked at her so I just kept my eyes on the computer. I assume he got an answer to his difficult question:)
by Esteban-- Smartest Pumpkin on February 16th, 2008
Am I talking to you or a recording?
by little miss s on March 7th, 2008
well i work in customer service, so i've heard it all .. some of my favorites ..
-"hello, can i have the toy department please?" (calling toys r us)
me: uhh that's like everyone man, so hold up a second
- "excuse me, do you work here?"
no im just sitting behind this desk, with a toys r us shirt on for fun
- *man comes into to return a toy he bought literally 5 seconds ago that i helped him with*
"no, i don't think you're smart enough to do this return for me .. i need the manager"
me: sir, i just helped you with this toy, i've been working here 3 years i'm sure i can handle a simple return ... at which point he freaked out and started yelling for a manager
and my personal favorite .. customer calls in and asks for an item ..
me: sorry, it's out of stock
customer: ohh ... well then can you call walmart for me and ask if they have it ..??
me: you want me to hang up on you, call walmart .. our competition store, ask if they have it and call you back???
customer: yes please
... i had to hang up at that point because i was laughing so hard
by Lady_Wolf on March 3rd, 2008
I used to work at a pizza delivery place in a small city in the middle of Southern California.
Me: Thanks for calling *** Pizza. Will this be delivery or pick up?
Him: (echoes) Delivery.
Me: May I have your address?
Him: (echoes) Well, I am in Africa.
Me: I'm sorry. What was that?
(I realize the echoes are due to long distance satellites.)
Him: I'm in Africa. Do you deliver here? I really miss pizza.
Me: Ummmm.... Sir, this store is in the United States.
Him: So?
Me: We only deliver to our small city, in California, in the United States.
Him: Do you know the number to the store that delivers to me?
Me: ???? No sir. I have no idea.
Him: #(*^@^&*%@#
Needless to say he was rather put out that I didn't know the number to all the African pizza delivery store fronts. I don't even know to this day if the company even had a presence in Africa.
by Rescuer Treesaw on February 16th, 2008
For what ever reason people will walk up to the counter and look at me and say "are you open now?".
by EyExCanDii119 on February 16th, 2008
I work at Starbucks and I made one lady a drink which she specified that she wanted "light ice" in. So I made the drink to Starbucks standards. Well, the lady came back 10m later with an empty cup and said, "this isn't light ice!"
I didn't even know what to say to her..
by iVanish on March 15th, 2008
she: "i have international charges on my bill."
me: "yes, it says here that you were roaming in toronto, ontario."
she: "yes."
me: "well, your plan only covers the united states."
she: "i know."
me: "..."
she: "so are you going to remove the charges?"
me: "they're legitimate."
she: "ma'am, don't try my patience! i am not paying international charges when i wasn't anywhere international!"
me: "okay. you reside in oklahoma, correct?"
she: "yes."
me: "and you were in toronto, ontario, when you made these calls. correct?"
she: "yes."
me: "and your plan covers only the united states, right?"
she: "right."
me: "so that means these international charges are legitimate. you were in canada, not the united states."
she: "... *hangs up*"
by MIA on March 15th, 2008
I sale advertising for a magazine. I called an advertiser about buying from my publication and the following is the reason she gave me for not buying and I quote, "my son lives in your area and since I do not like my son I would never advertise in a magazine that he might read"...LOL That was a first for me, in all my years no one has ever given me that as a reason not to buy.
by GoingNowhereSlowlyIsFinallyGoingSomewher on March 3rd, 2008
"Can you please ask the captain to fly slower? Because it's very shaky!"
"I'm a British passport holder, where are your British lavatories?" (At this point, i wanna point outside the window and say "There")
by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on February 22nd, 2008
I worked for the municipal government the year we ranked #3 in development and growth for the whole country.
A guy came in and said he was a hotdog vendor, and he wanted a "list of all the areas with ongoing construction."
I handed him an aerial view of the county and went back to my computer.
by American idle on February 16th, 2008
"Do you work here"? (As I'm obviously working IN uniform).
by I love my baby on March 5th, 2008
A customer wanted to ship a package so I was asking him for the information. I asked him, What is the address you are shipping it? He said Well I don't know! It is somewhere in those papers, and tossed them to me. I said sir, I can not look through all your Social Security information. He was mad but finally gave me the address. We do help people finding addresses but they have to have some idea of where they are shipping.
by Monkey on February 22nd, 2008
When I worked at bookstore a man and his little son came to me and the man asked me if we had any books to help him pass a urinalysis test? I tried to explain to him what it was but he never got it, I passed him off to a rookie employee. He lieterally thought it was a written test. HAHAHAHA
by slothmister on March 7th, 2008
While working in an underground nightclub in Romford, Essex, UK I was once asked if I could "turn the music down".
by barjacob on March 3rd, 2008
As a restaurant host years ago, I would say " We have boneless chicken breasts OR for a friday special "We have fish filets' Not just once but I got the question "Are there bones in them"?
One of the well-known funnies is about Catholic Christmas Mass; Q: "What time is your midnight Mass?" A "Midnight!" Reply; "Well I know some have it at 8 or 9 PM so I wanted to ask!" That happens a lot so more priests make a joke out of it the Sunday before:, "What time is midnight Mass?" they ask the congregation!
by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on February 16th, 2008
Yesterday, I sent an email to a guy saying that his credit card number was invalid and he needed to call and give it to us or enter the order again.
His response "it's not a credit card it's a debit card".
You should have seen me rant around the office with this one, I never heard anything so dumb. I don't know if the guy was visually impaired, dyslexic or had poor typing skills but it took him four tries to enter a 16 digit credit card number correctly.
by skoolboy on March 15th, 2008
Im a tatto artist. A question I've gotten, on more than one occasion, from customers wanting a tattoo is, "What tattoo should I get?"
by miss tash on March 3rd, 2008
do u sell coffee?
nah its a coffee shop but we dont sell coffee!?
& did any1 leave a box of condoms here?
by Taylor on March 17th, 2008
I had a customer who's phone lines were down because our local electric company was doing road construction and didn't just cut, but AUGERED into a huge phone cable, turning it into a mass of spaghetti.
When trying to explain we were doing the best we could, as quickly as we could, the man advised me that it couldn't possibly be that bad and I should should set up a Satellite Link for his business.
Right. I'll beam that right down to ya! ;)
by DiSTurBiA on March 3rd, 2008
Have you heard the good news of jesus christ today?
( I almost got fired that day for my response LOL)
by veriria on March 3rd, 2008
"You DO know what a PROSTATE is, don't you?"
And I sell food in a cafe.
by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on February 24th, 2008
Is it too small to fit into an envelope?
by Ambiee on April 20th, 2008
" Please don't put me on hold for very long. I just cannot hold very long, it's because I'm a diabetic."... What does diabetes have to do with it. I'm diabetic , and i had to place him on hold.
by ChelseaMark on March 17th, 2008
Why are my letters wet Postman ? It was a water bill.
by I NEED PIE! on May 27th, 2008
i was working in a computer shop and a woman came in spent half an hour looking at computers on display then came to the desk and said "do you sell computers"
another time a man came in and asked if we sold window frames it took all my self control to not fall on the floor and die laughing,i replied "weve got windows xp" and he didnt get it, apparently the unit we were in used to be a joinery. i spent the rest of the day in fits of giggles
by whitnk on May 20th, 2008
I work in a department store in the shoe department in which I get the shoes for the customers....
"Are you busy?" while helping several customers...what do you say to that?
"Do you work here?" I wear a name tag.
in reference to the display shoe: "is this the only size?"
in response to me telling the customer that size 9 is the smallest left when they asked for a size 6 1/2:
"Are you sure?"
"how do you know, are you positive?" (we put the smallest size on display)
"how can that be?"
sometimes the customer will even ask another associate because for some reason they think we lie about what sizes we have left.
A customer holding 8 different styles of shoes wanting two sizes in each asks:
"Is that too many?"
When I bring out the 16 boxes (because 2 x 8 = 16) they say:
"oh wow I didn't realize!" I always want to say yeah 2x8 is 16!
by mistje on March 17th, 2008
I used to be in pharmaceutical sales, selling to doctors and nurses all over the country. Here's a few of mine.
How many doses can I get out of this single dose vial of Hepatitis B Vaccine?
Customer: I need to buy some Hepatitis vaccine.
Me: Hep A or B? Adult or Pediatric?
Customer: Which one is more popular?
Customer: My vaccines didn't come yesterday! We needed them here this morning! What are you going to do about it??!?!!?!?!
Me: I'll check on it right away, may I place you on hold?
Customer: Yea, fine. Whatever!!!
(hold music)
Me: Ma'am, are you S. James?*
Customer: Yes.
Me: I'm showing you signed for that package yesterday at 2:10pm from FedEx.
Customer: Oh is that what that was? (click)
*names changed to protect the innocent LOL
by orsonwelles on October 6th, 2008
While working as a theatre manager in the 60's, a man called and asked, "What time does the seven o'clock show start?"
by Theby on May 31st, 2008
When I was really young I worked in cosmetic retail. A customer asked me "What is a good hairspray?"
I said "This one is good as well as not having any CFC's so you are also helping the environment."
She said angrily "Sometimes I think that cosmetic companies are more interested in the environment than my hair!". (This was in the early 1970s.)
by Anonymous on May 30th, 2008
I worked at a health store and had some very, very strange customers. So I could go on forever, but here are a few:
Once a woman comes and says: I've been having this strange feeling in my body. Do you have anything for that?
me: well, what kind of feeling?
woman: I'm actually not sure...
We decided it had probably something to do with her kidneys (actually she made me say it was her kidneys) so I sold her some vitmamins for that.
I had a man ask me if the goat milk came from goats.
Apparently our wheat grass tasted too much like grass.
A man walked up to me and said: just sell me anything
me: what do mean by anything
man: I don't know
me: hmm.. are you looking for vitamins
man: nope
me: something to eat then?
man: no
me: well I really don't know what you want to buy then, sir
man: Do you sell m&ms?
and many, many more!
by MHfreak1991 on May 28th, 2008
i get this every day at work(fast food). its stuff like. "what to drink with that meal?" answer "yes"
or "were closed" can i still get a..." "no were CLOSED"
by Penny The Wise on May 20th, 2008
Honestly, I've heard some really stupid stuff before- but it also comes with territory. I work in a situation where I get to hear all the stupid lies and fun stuff people make up.
I also dress as if I were a customer- it's part of the job. I wear jeans, jacket, purse, head phones (at least it looks like head phones), and I work at a nice department store. The people there wear suits, nice slacks, name tags, etc. I often get asked if I work there, even though I'm nowhere near a counter and I'm browsing merchandise in my scrubby denim and tee shirts. Seriously. I've even been asked if I worked at stores I didn't work at!
by SuperGeek on December 8th, 2008
Are you calling me fat? ---
I do tech support for an electronics company. We help people install web cams, VOIP phones, game controllers, and the product I hate the most Universal Remotes.
This customer called on about an off brand TV and I tried all the programming methods with her, all of which failed.
Me: <After explaining that if the programming process fails the remote is incompatible with the TV> I'm sorry but it seems as if your TV is incompatible with this remote.
Customer: The box says "guaranteed to work".
Me: Yes mam, If it doesn't work the store will give your money back.
Customer: Why the hell does it say UNIVERSAL remote on it then if it doesn't work with ALL TVs.
Me: Mam its kind of like when clothing says one size fits all ..
Customer: What's that got to do with the price of tea in Switzerland?
<I think the saying is whats that got to do with the price of tea in China but I got her meaning so I let it go>
Me: ... as I was saying mam, a piece of clothing may say one size fits all but there will invariably be situations when the item in question does not fit a small portion of the population.
Customer: Are you calling me fat !?!?
Me: <Stifling laughter because the question took me so off guard> No mam I was just ...
Customer: Whats funny? How bout you giving me your name and address so I can kick your ass?
Me: I'm not allowed to do that mam. And to be honest I like my behind.
Customer: <Slams phone down...Silence>
by Occams Electric Razor on October 20th, 2008
boy I could write pages and pages on this..one of the most recent though;
Customer: How much is this?
Me: it was $44 but it is on sale for $14
Customer: There's no discount?
ME: yeah there is, it was $44 now it is $14
Customer: so there is no discount then?
Me: yes there is a discount, the item was $44 but with the discount it is now $14
Customer: so how much is the price after the discount
Me: THERE IS NO DISCOUNT OK! ITS $14!!!!
by windian on October 14th, 2008
Please not write fine to me--- I give you 50 pound shrimp and free pedicure, nails too, if you not write fine to me! OK I give you 75 pound shrimp yes? Oh no---I close now. You come back tomorrow. I have license renew then. Uh-oh, ticket? Thank you. You go now. I not go home now; I work for pay fine. Shrimp not good!
by G_tech on September 16th, 2008
Mind you I work at a cemetery so I've heard some really strange questions:
Do the people here bother you?
Is it safe to come here late in the evening?
How many people can we put in a grave?
Is it alright if we step on the graves?
Why are the headstones at the head of the graves?
Do we have to pay for the service now or can we make payments like layaway at K-mart?
the list goes on forever.....
There have been times when I am uncomfortable around my supervisor to the point of dizziness and nausea. How do I deal?
by scollins on September 3rd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
does anyone have a list of communication tools? If so could you please tell what they are?
by jammy6329 on July 14th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
In my opinion i feel that employees work for the company, not the customer?
what is your opinion?
by cantfoolthewise on April 18th, 2011
| 1 person likes this
To answer Patti jo's questions on my questions, I have more than professional feelings for this person and I know that's wrong.
by scollins on September 3rd, 2010
| 1 person likes this
have you ev ever had an extremely rude customer?
by dr who on July 7th, 2011
| 3 people like this
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Comments
i used to get this all the time, sometimes if i wasnt behind the counter they would try and que up behind me. our local population isnt famous for its intelligence
by I NEED PIE! on May 31st, 2008
ours as well. plus i love our tourist season. i can barely understand wat the hell they are saying as it is
by dngertrain on December 29th, 2008
in the guidebooks our town is described as "a quaint little market town" which is conclusive proof that most of the population are drug addicts and mental health patients one of which has a part time job writing guide books
by I NEED PIE! on December 30th, 2008
i think u have to be crazy in order to write those damn books, id sure be if that was my job
by dngertrain on December 30th, 2008
I'm guessing most people use an alias so they dont get sued for false representation
by I NEED PIE! on December 31st, 2008
Used to happen to me at my old job as well. Even though i was working at the till and wearing the uniform like!!!LOL
by Anonymous on April 21st, 2009
Hahah i've had that too, cept' i don't work at walmart lol ^_^
by Melza. on April 29th, 2009
ROFL! +6
by -NUNYA-- on October 28th, 2009