... joke ... A guy was driving while drunk and a cop pulls him over ... Cop, "I pulled you over because I have reason to believe and do believe that you may be driving while under the influence of alcohol, would you blow into this breathalizer, please?" Drunk, "I'm serry occifer, ye can't make me do that (wheeze, gasp)." Cop, "Of course you realize it is required by law for you comply, on what grounds do you refuse?" Drunk, "Cuz I got lung cancer (wheeze, gasp), and I had one of my lungs removed (wheeze) and if I were to (gasp) blow with force into that thing (wheeze, gasp), I could choke and die!" Cop, "Well, that is an unusual extenuating circumstance, but of course we have a backup ... I'll just take you back to the police station and we'll take a blood sample." Drunk, shaking his head, "Serry occifer, ye can't make me do that neither (wheeze)." Cop, "Of course you realize it is required by law for you comply, on what grounds do you refuse?" Drunk, trying to read medic alert bracelet, "I'm a hemmop ... a heemop ... umm, I'm a bleeder (wheeze), if ya stick me with a needle, I could bleed to death." Cop, "Well, that is an unusual extenuating circumstance, but of course we have a backup ... I'll just ask you to step out of your car and walk a straight line." Drunk, shaking his head, "Serry occifer, there is no way I'll be doing that neither (wheeze)." The cop sticks his head in the drunk's car window, looks down and says, well, they are both there, so you are not an amputee, neither leg is in a cast ... don't tell me, let me guess, muscular dystrophy ... multiple sclerosis ... some sort of plegia ???" Drunk, "Heck no, I ain't no sicko (wheeze), I'm just pissed drunk!"

True story: A lady got pulled over driving 100mph in a 55mph zone (160kph in a 88kph zone) on a highway in Texas. The officer came up to her window as she quickly rolled it down. Before the officer could speak, the lady bellowed, "How dare you stop me! Don't you know I'm taking my son to a statewide ballet competition?" She rolled up her window and sped away and didn't get stopped again.

i got pulled over once for failing to stop at a stop sign i told the cop that a bee flew in the window and I was trying to keep from getting stung and didn't see the sign. it didn't work :(

No they do NOT work, on me, but are ammusing and we tell our tales to one another back at the station or on breaks. I pulled a woman over weaving on the road, when I walked up to the window there was rooster in the front seat flapping wildly. She said she was taking out for a ride to get fresh air....uh huh..."OK, breath into this, and give the nice Animal Control Officer the chicken/rooster thing"

From the tv show "Speeders" "But Officer...I thought there was an unwritten rule it was OK to go 10 miles over the speed limit." (She got off with a warning.)