by ayanne on February 7th, 2008

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I caught my boyfriend of 4 yrs. cheating on me 2 times.On the 3rd time, he said to me that he loves the other woman so much and by staying in him, I can help him forget her & he will stick to me, just give him time.Its hurts me a lot but I love him. HELP

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Answers. 22 helpful answers below.

by dogdogcrazy on February 8th, 2008
Why are you with this guy? You aren't a girlfriend, you're a doormat! Toss him like a green salad, and go find a real man. The world is your buffet!
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- i completely agree that douche doesn't deserve for you to even look in his direction. hes a player and players are the worst because they know how to get to your heart and make you weak and feel bad or guilty don't get caught in the game babe
  
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  by freddymercuryldy19 on July 3rd, 2009
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by peasterbunny on July 6th, 2008
The real question here is why are you spending your love on a man who doesn't love you? He has told you through his actions that sleeping with another woman is more valuable to him than you and your entire relationship. You are worth less to him than 10 minutes of excitment!?!!? Don't you think you should be with someone who values you more than that? Let her have him. He will cheat on her soon enough and you will feel soooo much better being with someone who truly cares about you. He really only cares about his little man if you know what I mean!
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by heart.broken on June 12th, 2008
Not exactly the same situation but going through something similar...His ex didnt want him back...she came from out of town behind my back and he cheated on me..Then he came back crying and I forgave him...He said he needed time to think...time to clear his head and i kept giving him time. I went against everything and everyone to be with him. Once she started speaking to him he ignored me. he told me he needed the summer to think and now he is back with her again.So yeah...i totally understand
but please do yourself a favour and leave...walk out...because yes you love him, you want to be there with him and you will do anything to be with him but he does not understand how you feel, and he never will. If he doesnt, you will shatter...very very badly..Save yourself the pain, and please walk out. You may always love him, but he doesnt need to know because he could use that to take advantage of you again
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by Grandma Roses - my avatar is my real dog on February 8th, 2008
I can't believe what I'm reading - he told you he loves someone else and you are still sticking around?!?!!!!

People don't 'forget' people by sticking around with someone else, especially if they are trying to forget someone they love. I suspect that this other woman is not willing to commit to a relationship with him which is why he wants to keep you around. Otherwise he would be wanting to be with her, not with you.

It's time for this boy to spend time on his own, with no romantic entanglements, so he can sort out exactly who and what he wants.

If I were you, I wouldn't wait around to find out what he decides. I went through a similar situation while my marriage was ending - my ex asked for time to 'grieve' due to losing his girlfriend, who decided she didn't want to be with him after all. He wanted me to wait for this and then we would get back together. I tried it for a few weeks (very difficult) until my personal counsellor pointed out that this is a form of emotional abuse - using someone to get over someone else. I have never regretted kicking him to the curb. I found a much, much better man, with whom I have been for more than 20 years, a man I never would have found if I had gone along with my ex-husband's hare-brained scheme.

The fact that you love him doesn't mean that he is good for you. There are many people you can love in this life; give yourself time to cry and rant and rave, then move on. It sounds simple, I know; it's simple to say but difficult to put into practise.

This fellow already cheated on you at least 3 times. What's to say he won't cheat with someone else, even if you go along with his request?
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by Gideon on February 8th, 2008
There's a saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Here's a bit of translation, as you don't seem to be reading his language: 'Stay with me and help me forget about her' means 'stick by my side and let me do what I want because i want the best of both worlds.'

Ask yourself what you think you deserve. Do you deserve someone who doesn't lie to you? Doesn't hurt you? Doesn't betray you? Doesn't treat you as an equal?

I hope the answer to those questions is yes. Despite the way we feel about some people, they create situations that make it impossible to make a life with them. I hope you can find the strength and self-respect to walk out and shut the door behind you.
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by JND...IsHappy on January 23rd, 2009
4 years is nothing compared to the amount of time that you can spend for the rest of your life being happy with someone that loves you. Dump him and find yourself someone that appreciates you.
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- Good advice. + 6
  
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  by Rollie on January 23rd, 2009
- Thanks.
  
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  by JND...IsHappy on January 23rd, 2009
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by Nightwatchdog on January 23rd, 2009
Dump this looser - there are millions of men out there better than him.
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by nellybean on November 22nd, 2008
I know you love him but your wasting your time. I have cheated and I learned from it and it hasnt happend again. Either he loves you or he doesnt. But if he KEEPS cheating then your being a fool staying with him. The only person losing is him...
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- Let it be his loss and go have a good cry and do not get revenge, get even. Find a good guy to talk to in chat or at a church, bar scenes are so bad. Good luck and dont let that man use you any more!
  
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  by teresa on January 23rd, 2009
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by koldkanuck on September 8th, 2008
You may as well just join them in a menage of three.
Or be smart and dump him today.
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- Nice answer! + 6
  
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  by Rollie on January 23rd, 2009
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by Zhitbag on September 8th, 2008
You are a retard. If you stay with the same boyfriend, you deserve what you get.
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by Stick it!! on August 6th, 2008
That is one of the "worst" lines I have ever heard.
Real love takes "two" people. Your relationship is very one sided. Time to move on unless you enjoy being used.
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by Kyle Oberle on July 30th, 2008
I have never been in a relationship before but I say twice is enough, heck once may be enough. Personally I think he will never stop cheating on you, I would leave him and find a guy who will listen to you and respect you
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by mike mcenroe just cannot be serious maa on July 30th, 2008
Love is strange isnt it, but dont forget it is your time he is wasting not his. We are put here for 1 life only "yours" do the right thing, take the pain & move on. I know from experience you can find a better love.
You are not there to help him forget about other women,you should be the ONE & ONLY its the only way true happiness is achieved.
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by UneFille on July 6th, 2008
He told you he loves the other woman so much. I'm sorry but he can have her. He sounds very selfish. I would move on.
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by Murnettie on April 28th, 2008
Dump the bastard immediately and dont ever look back!
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by contraryone on April 11th, 2008
Run far away!! If he did it once he will do it again!! My God lose that man. Plenty others!!
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by little sprout on April 11th, 2008
Um no, I dont think so. He is getting what he wants from you, and having some action on the side. He has you right where he wants to and if you dont get it out now it will eat at your soul. TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN THERE. You are much better off.
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by Anonymoose on February 8th, 2008
He has just admitted that he loves her so much and you are still with him?! What the heck? All I can say is he is using you and you are letting him. If it was me, I would toss him out and let him go crawling back to her. I hope you think enough of yourself to realize you are worth a much better man that what you have.
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by stillinlove on February 8th, 2008
okay, honestly if you love him enough you will push through it and it'll make you a stronger person. You know everything happens for a reason, and he isnt right for doing that to you, because believe me and you know that getting cheated on hurts and makes you feel like a piece of crap, but you know, Once you start to hang out together just dont bring it up and IAM SURE, 100% sure you'll have other things on his mind. Just know you cant forget but can always forgive. If you do truely love him and you think hes the one then stick through it! The best of luck to you and Ive went through alot! and Iam happy with the love of my life right now :)
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by Sunshine on April 14th, 2009
dear we may help you, he cheated first, and you forgive him,its seems like you will forgive again,he lost respect for you,what makes you think, he will forget about her? find someone who can love you for you,dont be a second thought. let him go.
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by Hypozo on June 28th, 2009
Baby this is Easy
DUMP THE BASTARD!
i know you love him but
come on you could find someone better then him
be strong and stand up 4 yourself this is just sad
don't you have respect 4 yourself comeon
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by Rollie on January 23rd, 2009
He must be really using you and getting something out of it. Housekeeper, cook, etc. He doesn't love you. He loves others instead.
Dump him yesterday and get back into the social mix!!!!!
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Question

I caught my boyfriend of 4 yrs. cheating on me 2 times.On the 3rd time, he said to me that he loves the other woman so much and by staying in him, I can help him forget her & he will stick to me, just give him time.Its hurts me a lot but I love him. HELP

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