My father commited suicide a few days ago, he didn't leave a note or anything. How do I handle this?
by 
SaraZita
ANSWERS: 32
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Without knowing anything about you or your father, I can only suggest that you talk to someone close to you. Losing a loved one under any circumstance, is never easy. We handle these things the best way we can. One day at a time.
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All things happen for a reason, and even if you don't know what drove your father to commit suicide, you should not torment yourself trying to find the cause for his actions. The best thing you can do for yourself is talk to other relatives or someone close to you for support, or if that's not possible, seek out counselling from a suicide help group. Do not be afraid to grieve----you need to do that. And time will ultimately be your best friend.
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As well as the advice you've already been given SaraZita, I would say that you try and forget any idea of 'handling' what has happened. The truth is there are times when everything simply falls apart, including us and sometimes that is the appropriate response. Trying to get through, keep it all together, handle things will actually cause more suffering.
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well naturally you will go through the grieving process. My ex boyfriend's dad also committed suicide. I hope you know that its not your fault and allow yourself the right to feel all of the feelings you are experiencing. You will heal in time, I am so sorry for your loss.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, unfortunately there is no step-by-step guide as to how to handle such a traumatic situation. You will most certainly go through the grieving process, and will do so at your own pace...don't let someone force you to go any faster. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and don't bottle them up, if you need to cry, then cry. Use your support systems, talk, eat, sleep whatever you need at the moment. Best of luck, and time heals all wounds.
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I'm so sorry to hear that Sara! Handle it one day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Just keep loving him and remembering him. If you ever need to talk to someone, you know how to reach me. Good Luck!
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I am so sorry for your loss Sara. There is nothing anyone of us can say to stop your grieving or pain. Find someone that you can talk to and talk talk talk talk. It may take months to accept the reality of his death. Let yourself feel the pain..it's a process. Let others help you Sara. Many (((hugs))) to you.
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Count me in Sara. I'll listen and help if I can because I'm sort of good at it.
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i don't know how to tell you to respond.. i lost my father to suicide 3 years ago and all i can say is that you just have to keep breathing. don't avoid thinking about him, because that will just make it worse later on. it will get more bearable after awhile, but it is a long process. just know that you aren't alone- there are tons of people in your life who love you and are willing to listen. me included. i'm here anytime if you want to talk to someone who kinda knows what you're going through
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I am so sorry for you loss. I don't have any answers for you. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and that you have support. {{{hugs}}}
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Turn to Jesus he will comfort you like no man can ever comfort you. Please turn to him. He will take care all the things. Please ask him to help you. Without asking you he cant help you. I will pray for you Sara
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Mydad just commited suicide also on the 17th of Jan 2008 I am having such a hard time. He didnt leave a note either.....
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condolence, i guess pray to god and lift everything that you are feeling right now... trust God and i know that he will show you the way....
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I'm at a loss , Bless You so much and your Family
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He must have been in a great deal of pain. Therefore, it's best to be thankful that at least he isn't in that pain anymore. And, really, otherwise, there is nothing that will help you other than time. This is something you just have to go through. The sooner you realize that, the quicker you can go through the process of it.
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I know it is the last thing you want to hear..truly though something good can come from this..appreciate everyone in your life, forgive and say all the things you think you have time to say later now..and forgive your Dad he obviousley did this on a spur(NO NOte).Depression is a downward spiral he wasn't thinking rationally.. I'm sure he loved you guys unfortunately he was caught up in that abyss and he wanted immediate relief.. Not a good idea and somewhat selfish, I'm sure he was thinking you guys would be better off without him...that's depression..I guess in a long way I'm saying don't think notes would explain
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I am truly sorry for your loss. Never the less always remember your dad as he was, with his good and bad days simply as he was. Don't try to find answers where you think those are, the only one who could ever answer your questions is your own father. You may never know why he did it, try to understand he must have had his good reasons for this decision. Regards
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First let me give you my sincerest condolences. Second I would suggest that you surround yourself with the remaining members of your family...you can all help each other through this trying time and be shoulders for each other to cry on, and also pillars of support. The most important thing that,IMHO, you must do is not to blame yourself. Sometimes that is a very hard thing to do. If there is anything that I can do for you please feel free to contact me. Night or day. My name is Joel Hagen Joel@MontanaDreamsRealty.com 406-471-1977 If you need to talk or just unload some stuff, I am more than willing to help. Stay strong
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You have already stated the healing process by reaching out on this website. You'll go thru phases and they may take some time. Please know that this was not anyones fault. He had some demons that got the best of him. In Gods grace he is now no longer in pain. God loves all his children and never turns his back no matter the circumstances. Love yourself and keep his memories close to your hart. For with this, he will always live!!!!!
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I am so sorry to hear about your untimely, tragic loss. I am in *NO* certifiable position to answer this question, but I simply wanted to offer my sincerest condolences. I would genuinely recommend seeing someone professional to help you through such complex feelings. And I will keep you in my thoughts.
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To know than none of this was your fault and you had nothing to do with this and to know that it was your father's choice to kill himself not yours. And to just live life to the fullest taking whatever comes when it comes.
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Nothing I or anyone else says will make you feel any better. Neither will anything you find in a book, a medical journal, or a psychological journal. When my boyfriend committed suicide, I couldn't eat or sleep. I would cry all day long, and that is not an exaggeration. I would cry myself to sleep and be crying when I woke up. The only thing that's even remotely helping is keeping a journal, but even that has its limits. You could always talk to family, friends, or even a shrink, but I (personally) think that I'm burdening others if I talk to others about my feelings. You're going to have good days, bad days, and some really bad days ahead of you. You will probably keep rehashing the last days, weeks, or months you had trying to figure out if this or that was a clue to what was to come. You will probably get angry, feel guilty, and you might even decide the pain is too much and consider suicide yourself. But there are moments and then days when you will smile and truly feel joy again. You take each day as it comes & you try to survive. Today is day 103 for me.
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My deepest sympathies to you and your family. A relative of mine killed himself a long time ago. I urge you, when your ready, to please pray to God, and please just speak to one of Jehovah's Witnesses. There are many words of Christ that can help comfort your heart. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Edit. Too personal.
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I am so sorry for you loss, I to have been in a simular situation I lost my mother at the age of 13 she went out one day said she would be back soon and never came back she to had commited suicide . Its something that I FEEL you never get over, But you will learn from it.. And oneday you will forgive and understand why the person did what they did, and people deal things differently ...at the moment you may feel at a loss or not want to believe it has happened... What helpedme was finding out that my mother suffered from mental health problems ...which made me realsie she just couldnt cope with life and that was Her ONLY WAY out (out of choice).I cannoy forgive her but I understand. All the best
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Too personal again. Edited.
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as someone who lost a mother to suicide, I do understand how you feel. My mom didn't leave a note either, but if you are confused as to why he did it, were there certain circumstances surrounding him at the time? (i.e. divorce, loss of job, alcohol, self-esteem, depression)My mom just got out of a very abusive relationship and got married not too long before she died. She thought this man would be different. I always say,"It was the straw that broke the camels back". It seems like more people leave notes if they are planning it, as opposed to people who decide suddenly that they are going to do it. Does that make any sense? I've had 28 years to think about all of the "what if's, and why's", so I can truly say that I harbor no ill feelings about what my mom did. You will always wonder about what was going through you dad's mind, but sometimes the person is hurting too much to think of anything else at the time. My thoughts are with you.
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Strangely I ebvy you. If I could, I would trade my dad's life for your father's.
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Cry as much as you need to, for as long you need to. Then prepare your heart and mind to deal with the difficulties your dad would have been responsible for - to you and your family. Stand in front of a mirror, take a deep breath in and out, then say out loud: "This is not going to be an easy road ...but I will get through - I am my father's strength!" Good luck sweetie. Believe in yourself, believe that you will be strong enough to get through this. You will get through this!
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My condolences for your lost. Try not to think too much about what happened, but about happier times while he yet still lived. Try thinking about how HE would want you to handle this. What do you think he would say to you at this moment--if he could? Keep him in your heart and mind, when you accomplish something that would've made him proud. Picture the smile on his face--when you get that first place trophy, or when you earn that NEXT diploma. See how he's probably bragging to the other deceased about his new GRANDCHILD. Good luck!
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Try to get some help and try to be supportive to the others in your family. Suicide is a selfish act, but it's often all that the victim can manage. Your father deserves pity, he must have been suffering terribly inside, try not to be angry.
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hey this sucks but if your dad did that it shows that he was weak. Sorry don’t wana be an ass but if he did it and then he didn’t leave a note dont hate him for it. your dad had to love you its just that if he can’t love himself it should be hard for him to show his emotions so what if he didn’t leave a note. But im sure he left something that u will noticed. And be happy for him too even tho its not good to die be happy that he no longer has to suffer in this earth. hope this could help and if it didn’t, just don’t ever blame yourself for what he did. if you do tho if not good luck
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