Hmmm... what is the restraining order restraining you from? What do you want to do that the judge thinks is a no-no?

The only thing you can do right now is stay away. I dont see the problem? A judge will not give a restraining order for her asking for money, you are leaving out what the restraining order is for.

I feel for you. Sounds like you married an expert manipulator. We are fortunate that there are not more girls like this. Best advice: Don't give her ANY money. Of course, if you were being too tight in the first place, that might be the reason you have a problem. Marriage is about learning to share.

If there is not some genuine communication and real progress back-and-forth between the two of you, then it is probably best to limit your contact with her as much as possible. Do not reveal anything to her. Do not speak or write or ask questions or make demands of her. Do not listen, hear, or try to understand her. Make no excuses. Make no blame. Don't create any stories about her, or about you. Just walk away, with absolutely minimum contact. Deal with it only when your divorce lawyer recommends you should say something or do something. An angry person will try to entangle you in a never ending hell. Don't let it get complicated. Don't get sucked in and involved. There is no benefit to it. Talk to your divorce lawyer about what communication is necessary. And consider getting a restraining order against her, for your own peace of mind. They are easy and cheap to get. She will have to stay a certain distance away from you at all times, and not harass you in any way. Keep it simple. . . . Keep it peaceful. . . . Walk away.

1) ANYONE can get a TEMPORARY restraining order from a judge at anytime, against any party simply by lying. The Judge hears the complaint, issues the temp order with is usually tied to a subpoena to appear in court for the hearing date. The complaintant then takes the temp order and has it served by a service agency, and off duty cop, or even a mutual friend who will see you next. The courts usually allow the complainant to deliver the order themselves, but if they do it looks fishy that tey would be afraid for their life and still deliver an order in person. At the hearing the judge will hear both sides... BRING AN EYE WITNESS (not just a character witness "oh yeah, she's nuts I totally believe XZY and you should too judge: that ain't gonna cut it), signed statements are WORTHLESS in a judges eyes unless witnessed by a notary public. Bring phone records, personal notes of dates/times, etc... Depending on the state, there are different standards that apply if the subject can not be reached to have the order issued Ex Parte... I had a friend who had to do this when her harrasser was making death threats after getting fired and purposely did not go to her apartment for three weeks. She simply had her attempted server testify that he attempted delivery over 3 times (21 times in this case) and that the harasser was aware of the order and intentionally dodging it. In her state the law required a public notice in the largest-distribution newspaper in the harasser's city run twice a week for 2 weeks before the order would be signed ex parte. The newspaper apparently had a special rate just for such cases... it only cost $450 (ouch)... but it was worth it. On the flip side of this whole mess is when people USE restraining orders as some sort of revenge or attack, and they clearly are NOT in fear for their life. These manipulators are the worst of all scum... not only are they filing a false report, lying under oath (perjury), but they are guilty of defamation of character and in the case of repeated attempts, harassment. At least in my state, the restraining order statute states that upon 2 dismissals of restraining orders against an accused, a 3rd attempt at a restraining order will be deemed as criminal harassment. Don't give up... go to court, talk to the judge, bring your records, and bring EYE witnesses if there are any. Get it overturned. IF he/she rules in your favor, ask what the statute says about restraining orders being used as harassment while she's there, effectively putting her on notice not to try it again. The down side to all this? Most employers are so ignorant of the law that they will see a temporary order the same as a judicated restraining order... If you work at the same company you could be told to stay away from work until the order is lifted (even if you could do your job without violating the order). Even worse, I've personally seen my company fire one employee who had a manipulator pull this exact stunt and got him fired: a) She lied to HR about being harassed and he was placed on 2 weeks "investigative leave" due to company policy. b) The SAME DAY, she hit up the courthouse and lied to the judge about being assulted and threatened and said the guy was currently suspended from work for harassing her and will be fired shortly; so she's really afraid for her life... Voila! Instant restraining order. c) She then took the temporary order to work and gave a copy to HR telling them a judge just heard her case and agreed with her, issuing the restraining order. d) HR saw this as validation that it was all true... He was fired. Our state being an "At Will Employment" state, and having no contract, he had no legal recorce for rehiring OR EVEN UNEMPLOYMENT (only applies to layoffs/downsizing and wrongful termination due to discrimination). e) he shows up in court 2 weeks later, she didn't... case dismissed, order cancelled. He calls mutual friend A, ;), and asks him to tell HR/Manager the order was canceled. Why? probably just to rub it in or put them on notice, I dunno. f) she finds out HR got wind of this whole mess being fabricated and gets ANOTHER order for the same exact thing... apparently from a different judge and tells HR the order is still in force and the old copy had a "technicality". g) he shows up in court 2 weeks later, she didn't... again... judged (HER honor) is visibly irritated and stops the court calendar to go to her chambers for 5 minutes, comes back, and gives my buddy copies of both dismissed orders, a copy of the statute for harassment, and asks him to specifically ask for her courtroom if this ever comes up again. h) A week later the HR manager who handled it was fired. i) 2 weeks later the lying woman was terminated for sexually harassing a female coworker (though the story seems a bit... ummm... minor for termination, they just wanted her gone). Same day, they fire my/our/her boss. Messy? You bet. Did he get his job back? Nope.. he never asked for it back as far as I know. Of course after being treated like that who could blame him? A few months later I hear she called HR and asked if she could reapply "yet"... we all had a good laugh at that one. No one's heard from her since. Lesson 1: ALWAYS SHOW UP IN COURT. Dodging a summons is a HORRIBLE idea. Lesson 2: ALWAYS bring records and EYE witnesses. Lesson 3: Whether it's approved or not, no restraining order (at least in my state) goes on your criminal record. IF there were proof of criminal harassment or stalking the police would be involved and press criminal charges... personal complaints without proof is as good as toilet-paper. It won't show up on a background check, nor will it on a criminal background check. Lesson 4: ALWAYS avoid DRAMA QUEENS. The woman in this case claims she has a father in prison, a drug-addict mother on the other side of the country, is a single mother with a string of boyfriends she described as abusers, liers, and drug dealers. Having met 1 of her X's a few weeks after she started to work with us I knew she had a nack for stretching the truth (he was good guy from everything I've seen or heard). The real truth of the matter is that for every 100 drama queens that claim their lives are crazy, dangerous, and right out of a soap opera, 99 of them are compulsive liers. This woman was lying for friends and attention and eventually she had to start following through on bluffs or accuse others of lying when she was caught in a doozy. After she, and he, both left people began "comparing notes" and found she was lying about nearly EVERYTHING she ever told them, even stuff she had no real reason for lying about. What cinched it was the fact that she claimed to have multiple restraining orders against former boyfriends and an online search of the state court docs only brought up the orders in this story... ALL the others were complete fabrications told to DOZENS of people to make her feel special. Stay away from drama queens... they're not "special" or "exotic", they're just missing large chucks of personality and character. People stare at train-wrecks, but it doesn't mean you should stand on the tracks to get a better view.

Sounds as if the judge has a good idea - stay away. I would echo one of the previous replies in that I would get one against her also. You two are toxic together - no contact - no excuses- stay away, far, far away.