Why are some women unable to orgasm? Can they eventually learn how to have an orgasm?

I am one of those women who can not orgasm. Not even with a Very giving partner we have tried everything and it seems I get to that point and then *poof* its gone. I am a 30 year old mother of three on my way through a Divorce and very sexually active with my new partner. And he does everything right and the way I tell him. He is also my first lover who has been more interested in trying to get me off than himself so I know its not him its me. Honestly I have never climaxed not even a little so is it possible that I just am missing it when its happening? I really dont think I am but how would I know I have never had one...very pitiful

First of all, YES any woman with a clitoris CAN achieve orgasm--she (and/or her partner) just need to know how to get her there. While it's true (and totally normal) that many women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm while being penetrated, that's not the same as being unable to orgasm.

Women: To learn (yes, some need help!), a woman should be able to reach orgasm alone before attempting with a partner. Start with entertainment that's a big turn on (sexy blockbusters or porn movies, romantic books or raunchy mags--your *personal* choice). Once you start to feel relaxed and maybe a little amorous, a good lubricant (like Astroglide) should be applied to your body or hand. Begin touching yourself while enjoying your entertainment. Once you feel turned on, focus your efforts on and around your clitoris. Just do what feels good to you (not necessarily what they do in your entertainment) and eventually you will get there. Once you can achieve orgasm alone you can aid a partner with what you like. Gosh, did I just put all this in writing?!

I dont believe women have to "learn" how to orgasm, anymore than men need to "learn" how to climax. Actually there are several reasons they are unable to. It is very difficult for alot of women to orgasm during Intercourse, but some do. Also some of it is hormonal and they are just not in the mood, it is nature, we cant predict or help it. If a woman is not happy with her body, then she may focus on that, instead of her man. Also a woman has a way of guiding a man as to what pleasures her and if he doesnt pick up on that, its not going to happen. Lastly, foreplay is very important and alot of men have no clue what turns a woman on, no matter how many signals she gives him.

Some women are afraid of the emotional release. Sometimes, if they've been hurt by someone in the past, they are afraid to open that door in the presense of another person.

My partner can make me have an orgasm with oral sex but not during intercorse. It is frustrating. And it is not at all that he is small or doesn't last long enough. I just wish I was normal and could do it the normal way.

a woman is sometimes unable to have an orgasm because, their mind is not totally focused on having pleasure. Wether its having actual sex or masturbating, some women cant reach an organism because they are not involved in the act, they just try to believe they are. Im pretty sure that eventually they can learn to reach an orgasm. Once they are involved with their bodies and not just their minds, they will reach it.

Tbh it took be a while to figure it out but i found a way , Go ontop of your man and lean forward a bit over him so your arms are behind his head and move up and down, you should then find a way to access your clitoris achieving orgasm!

I try to be a concerned lover. I give her oral, manual stimulation and what ever is needed. Most give NO feed back wont say to the left or right, or that's it keep it up. Wither the first or months later no help. Look my tongue is numb, my hand is numb my rod is limp could you please give a hand. Please rub your clit as I thrust into you, I cant do it all. It is OK to help. I will get mine, help me get you off. Just dont lay there and make me do everything. I cant support myself over you and penetrate you and still have a hand to rub your clit. I only have two hands, please you need to help. When you orgasm mine will be so much better. I love to feel you rubbing your clit as we make love. I cant do it all. you have to help or tell me. I am not a mind reader.

ugh!!!! ive been with my husband for six years and have never had an orgasm given by him... its so frustrating im begining to think there is something wrong with me... dont get me wrong i enjoy sex and still want to be with him but i just cant have an orgasm... not to say that ive never had an orgasm because i have had countless numbers of orgasms by myself which makes it worse... i made the mistake of finally telling him thinking it would make him want to work on it and now he is just angry and has no desire to even try anymore... he says it must be him... and is upset with me for 'faking' for all these years... i feel bad but at the same time is saddens me to find that he is more concerned with his own pride than my problem and has yet to work with me to try to fix it... since telling him almost 8 months ago we have very little sex... we once went 3 months straight without sex... he says whats the point... you dont get off so why would you even want to have sex... please help... i love my husband and want badly to fix whats wrong but i dont know why i cant orgasm during intercourse... im only 22 this is crazy!!!!

i know this is gona sound weird...but this might help...try using the shower head...bascially if u lie down with your legs apart and let the water from the shower head spray directly on your cilteros(the water spray has to be quite powerful)...you should be able to reach an orgasim. i used to have difficulties reaching an orgasim but this seemed to help now i can reach one when having sex.
i hope this helps.

xxx

They are not doing it right, and yes, when applying oral or normal sex correctly, they should have an blowing experience

because their partner doesnt know how to make love to them. They can learn if they find a good sex partner who can romance very well.

because they can't let go of there inhibitions and they are with a lousy lover.

I would think if the woman is totally present in the moment and wants to comit the passion to the person she is with and that person makes her feel like she is top lady of the moment then I believe she would be relaxed to experience the future moments in the future.

It is a comment like this that makes reminds me why it difficult for me to orgasm. I always feel like men resent having to stimulate women manually or orally- because all they really want to do is just hurry up and get off themselves. Some women take too long to feel relaxed and therefore feel self-conscious during sex. I have tried with several lovers to communicate what feels good and they might try it once and not ever again. I used to love sex when I was younger. I wish I still did.

To some of us it eventually just comes but some of us have to learn. I am in the first group - after three years of marriage and two children I just began to have orgasms with my first husband without doing anything although I remember thinking i must be desirable because he wanted sex with me so often.But some women block their sexual feelings because they fear them improper or fear losing control.
Positive self-image and body image is important. Practice deep breathing exercises to get your self more in tune. Have your husband or bf play with your clitoris and vaginal area until you find out what feels good to you. When his fingers or tongue or penis feels good don't be afraid of coming to orgasm - there will be more where that came from.

my email address is sethlyndrulz@msn.com let me know if any one professional knows wuts wrong with my girlfreind. i luv her to death and dont want to spend the rest of my life sexually unsatisfied because of her inability to not orgasm. i need an actual doctor or therapist person that actually knows wut they are talking about, not just people who think they know wut great sex is like because i know more then they do about pleasuring women

how we know the all points of orgasm about lady body

and yes some women go quicker and less effort then others, the most general woman like things like a man to dominate and be a little rough or mean even, pull hair, biting and sucking of the neck,nipples shoulders. rubbing of the thighs and outer nipples. clit play. most woman ive had anal with said they hated it before and didnt even want to try or some who have never even tried before and wanted nothing to do with it and felt positive they would hate it lol. but all have enjoyed me giving them anal and they loved it, yes a little new and awkward to new comers of anal, but i love pleasuring a girl that way and it only ever hurts a and is awkward at the start, once ur good at it u shouldnt have a problem getting it in the back door with any pain only mild discomfort at the start. and im not small either so dont think that just cus ur man is big that it is gonna hurt. just loob up well and do finger penetration till the woman feels comfortable enough(turned on and wants to put it in) then slowly work it in and be gentle, not every girl can take a long one but most can. and every girl ive ever been with for anal goes every time, some girls can only go once analy then just want to get it the hell out but love it after they go from it, some can take it forever. depends but i aint met a girl yet that hasnt liked it. i've met one other girl before that had a real hard time getting off and i had to work hard to get her off, she was only satisfied a few times in life till she met me, but analy she went quick every time, go figure lol. the girl im with now isnt willing to try yet because i cant get her to go at all, she has never had an orgasm ever. and barely knows her own body i know it better then she does. she has some sort of mental block or medical just cant go, idk. its not me, but i do feel bad for her and im not satisfied with the sex because of it. i have fullfilled all my oats and every sexual fantasy u can think of i've pretty much done it all. but i want her to go so bad. it sucks not knowing wuts wrong with her. its like i wrote the book on sex and now im stumped. but yeah most women that dont go are just cus there man sucks, but guess what women, teach him. duh. and if neither the man or the woman are any good. sorry lol. i teach every girl im with and have greatly increased the sexual satisfaction of allot of my friends by talking to them. sex is like an art u can only be taught so much but if u just suck u suck, that goes for both women and men. if ur a lazy girl and dont know how to move in bed and just hope and pray that every guy ur with can satisfy u and ur not willing to teach, ur dumb. size does matter, but ability of knowing how to use it and work a womens body is just as important. some woman get off quicker orally, some analy, some thru vag penetration, some cant go unless ur really rough and mean. some go with different positions better, each woman is a little bit different. some u can be an amature and just stick it in and they go, some u really have to know wut ur doing and work for it.

i am a 22 year old man and have had sex with more women then u could imagine and am very used to alway being the best a girl has ever been with by far. im ussually anywheres from twice as good to 3 times better than any guy that a girl has ever been with. i mentally stimulated and physically stimulate woman and am very attractive. tall blonde hair blue eyes nice body good size penis etc. im all about pleasuring woman and am dependant on their pleasure to have my own. most girls average between 2 and 3 orgasm each time with me before i feel they got their share and i take care of my needs. most woman i can get to have multiple orgasms one on top of another to where they are almost wanting me to stop because of how much they go. anywheres from 30 to 50 or 60 times i can get most girls to go in a 1 hour sex session when i decide to try hard. even when i just take care of my own needs they go quick. but i have run into the very first girl ever i cant get to orgasm. she is 23 and never had an orgasm before. if i cant do it no man can, no joke. im not cocky im being real. i think she is somehow mentally blocking herself somehow from going. she comes to me for sex more than i do her and she gets really close every time but never orgasms. weird as hell. i know wut the hell im doing and and can teach 99% of men and women out there wut to do for great sex. but i dont know wut to do with her. its either some sort of medical thing or she is mentally cock blocking herself somehow. wut the hell do i do.

Wow...i have no idea what to say to those that has never had orgasm but im 21 years old and i can have orgasms but its very Very difficult now. i have had mindblowing orgasms since i was teenager just by simply rubbing the clitorus and would orgasm within minutes and would repeat this 2-3 times a day. but now i have to go thru extreme and weird meassures to come to orgasm. what i have to do now is to lay on my stomach reach so that my hand covers both the clitorus and butt area..pressing and rubbing firmly on both areas. i like pressure so one hand has to covers the other hand for added pressure. To me this is a pretty messed up way to get off!! but its the only way i can orgasm now! i try to do it the way that i used to just by simply playin wit the clitorus but..nothing. im in relationship now and he tries so hard to bring me to orgasm but it just wont happen. hes done it a couple times in the past and it was hard even then but now he cant do it at all. he has asked me how do i masturbate so that he can do it the way i do..and i but never tell him the whole truth because im embarssed by it. i dont want my man to have to play wit my clit and my ass in order for me to orgasm...i don even know how he would do it! We had intercourse for the first time a month ago and (i was a virgin before that) no orgasm.we continue to have sex and still..no orgasm. ive tried everything even toys and still nothing. i just want my source of pleassure to be where it used to be..the clitorus only! i was starting to think that maybe i had broken something down there from masturbating so much as a teen lol any thoughts?

show in photo the point of orgasm aboutlady body

Where are the professionals here? Sounds more like normal people trying to solve one of the most difficult questions there are, my GF has never ever had a orgasm alone or with any partner, we have tried everything im not small..give her hours of clitoral and g-spot stimulation, she never... runs dry and is very well lubricated though and says it feels great but basically comes close to cumming then, it just vanishes in an instant, we have had sex close to 5 hours, of playing and love making, i have even bought her a vibrator for her own use to see if that helps,, nothing!! This has never happened to me before, and it is driving my GF to tears not to be able to, i rarely ejaculate due to my tantric training anyways but i really would love for her to experiance this great O, if there is anybody,,professional sex doctors or tantric experts, please help me to help my Girlfriend

I have no problem reaching orgasm while masturbating - and it can be really intense and amazing...but I cannot for the life of me orgasm during penetration.

I don´t know why this is or how to overcome it. I have tried being in the moment, not thinking about the moment, I have tried awesome lovers, bad lovers, sex toys, alcohol, drugs, meditation....and nothing seems to work.

Maybe some of us will never be able to learn to do it. Sad but that seems like the reality.

IF U ASK ME I DON'T THINK THAT A WOMEN GOT 2 LEARN HOW 2 HAVE A ORGASM I THINK IT UP 2 THE MAN HE GOT 2 KNOW WHAT HE DOIN IF HE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DOIN OF COURSE U NOT GOIN 2 HAVE ONE

ok, my boyfriend is not so much frustrated with me. he is a little upset, he is the best lover. he will try anything to get me to have an orgasm. and still nothing, he is very patient and still is, but i can see a little of upset in him, because he wants me to so bad and i just can't. i even tried the shower head thing. and i have no problems getting myself to have an orgasm but then he touches me i can't relax. he has gone 4 hours of straight pleasure. and believe me every bit of it was amazing from the 4 play to the sex. but i still can't have an orgasm. can anyone help. i went to the doctor, he gave me a cream and still no help., is there anyone out there that can help. please i beg you

Why are woman afraid to touch them selves. If they cant make it happen, how does she expect me to give her one.

the men who are doing it are obviously small

I am with someria on this. Sadly I am 40 years old and to date I have never felt the "Over the edge" pow. Believe me I have tried. My husband is wonderful and does everything he possibly can. I myself have tried alone and still can not get past that here it comes.... Never mind.

It has gotten so frustrating now, even with a rather expensive stimulation toy Which feels awesome but again I sense I am climbing up the mountain but then it just stays there, never passing the top.

As to the "letting go" theory I tried that and the one and only thing that came about was a quick urination which upset me more. I wish there was some magic potion or something so we could achieve this miracle without taxing our partner mentally & physically.