ANSWERS: 23
  • Tell her she has to sleep in her own room, and don't take no for an answer. Lock your door if you have to. She is 10, not 2. YOU are the parent.
  • She is old enough to understand that she needs to sleep in her own room. Try at first with the doors open. How can you have allowed this to go on so long. Your 10 year old is running your life. A solution must be found even if it seems hard to begin with. If you cannot do it yourslf seek professional help
  • Lay down the rules and enforce them, you're not doing her any favors by allowing this to continue.
  • Maybe try easing into the situation; for example, allow her to fall asleep in your bed, and then carry her back to her own bed.
  • My Aunt uses a roll out bed for the nights when the kids needed company. They can sleep there when they came in. I found two things that worked with my older ones, I bought him a light dimmer, and left the light on all night, and I put an intercom in his room, and he loved saying "Mom, can you hear me?" "Dad, I'm going to sleep now"
  • Normally kids do this for comfort adn when they are frightned start with you sleeping in the childs room with him?her then leave them but leave the hall/landing light on and both your bedroom doors open etc while spending some time relaxing and playing with the child before bed and talking about how big they are and grownup and how prowed you's are with them sleeping in the big boy/girls room etc. Be patient and enjoy it too, you wont ever get this time with the child again. Even when I go back to stay at home now I still jump in between mum and dad on the weekend mornings, count it the joys of parenthood and make the most of it. Don't forget its your kids who decide if you get the nice or rubbish nursing home, hahaha!!
  • So, lots of just don't let her do it answers. It's really easy to say when It's not your child. How about moving her to a bed on the floor first then slowly moving away from you room to her own. Add rewards for not coming back at night.
  • Sometimes the tough love approach is the best. We're not talking about an infant left to cry it out, that is a different story. We are talking about a 10 yo who won't sleep alone. This is more of a problem then the underlying issues that she may be suffering from. I do agree that it's time to let out the apron strings and make her sleep alone in her room, but you can make the transition easy. Start with a seperate sleeping area in your room then have you and her move to her room. After a couple nights with you spending the night there leave after she falls asleep. Eventually she will get confident enough to sleep alone.
  • My daughter slept with us till she was 10. One day out of the blue........all done with that. Went to her own room one night and has been there ever since. She is due to spread her little wings. Soon girlfriends will be coming over and staying and she will find her own independence! Don't push to hard, she's been there this long, and it won't last to much longer. And you will miss it. Prevention would have been 9 1/2 yrs ago! haha
  • Do not start out trying to solve this problem by sleeping in her room. I did that with my 4 year old son and now he's in Kindergarten and despite the warnings of the social worker and psychologist, I still can't get out of there without him crying his eyes out because he's scared. That's MY problem.
  • I understand I am a single mother of a 10 year old. The reason we started letting her is because I was working and going to school and we enjoyed cuddling. So people may judge and I am trying to still figure out whats so bad?
  • I'm an adult now with children of my own. My 9 year old still sleeps in the bed with us. I still remember as a child wanting to sleep with my parents because I was afraid and they wouldn't let me. It is my problem and I'm in my late 30's now but still remember not sleeping for many nights and crying myself to sleep for years. I won't let my daughter go through that, life is hard enough. She should always feel safe and have a good nights sleep. She'll let me know when she's ready.
  • Put a lock on your bedroom door and keep the key for yourself. Provide her with a warm bed of her own and tell her she is welcome to sleep there or anywhere else she chooses in the house, except your bedroom. Then retire to your room and lock the door. Put in ear plugs if you need to.
  • One of the parents should stay in the child’s room until the child fall asleep.
  • Explain to her that she is getting too old to sleep with Mom and Dad, and that she needs to start sleeping in her own bed, find out what is scaring her and offer a solution. eg. Dark = night light
  • Kick her out. She is heading for a codependant personality later if you don't.
  • Remember ..in many cultures, this is the norm. But these cultures are often very different to our own, so by allowing it to continue may impact her emotionally in the future. Id be asking "Why doesnt she like her own bed?"... if she feels safe in, and loves her own bed/bedroom, then she should be fine sleeping in it. Giving her ownership and autonomy on how her room is organised should help, as will nightlights, a favorite cuddly toy, and a PROCESS of dealing with being scared/alone ( not just - 'give-up and run to mom & dad' )
  • It's a bit late to prevent it. You now have to stop it
  • I think that you should sit her down and talk to her about why she is doing this. Also lay her down in her bed and tell her to just close her eyes and think about the next day. If she goes to your room in the middle of the night just get up and lay down with her in her room until she feels comfortable and falls alseep then eventually she will be able to sleep by her self. :)
  • Tell her you will buy her a big Christmas present if she sleeps in her own bed. +5
  • Our daughter will feel depressed and cuddle with us and often fall asleep, if she feels better she will get up and go to her own bed but stays with us if she's sick. she still does it now that she's 16.
  • Don't tell me what a 10 year old will not do -- you are her parent and can make her do whatever.

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