That is pretty typical for a teenager. I wouldn't do any of those things. I would leave them where they lie..when he figures out the way to have clean clothes is to put them where they belong..maybe he will. Good luck on that..lol.

Take it ALL away, the maid is an easy out for him and he won't learn anything.

Out of those choices...take his games, that will get the message across. :P

My dad told me once if I did not clean my room he would do it for me. I thought this was a good deal so I let him do it. I came home from school one day and ALL my things were gone. I asked him where my stuff in my room was and he reminded me of two things: 1)He bought the house and it is his room, not mine. I just live there. 2)He bought the stuff and if he did not like the way I treated it he had a right to take it all back. I found all of my stuff in garbage bags in the garage. I doubt he was going to throw them away, but wasn't quite sure. It made me respect my stuff and my room. My dad never asked me what I did in my room because it was my private space, but because it was his house I had to live under his rules and that meant keeping it clean. Also at 13, my mom taught me to wash, dry and iron my clothes. She made sure I did it correctly without ruining the clothes. Once I had the hang of it, she informed me that I was now responsible for my own clothes. If my clothes did not make it in the hamper on wash day, it was my responsibility to clean them myself. She was not a maid to be called on at a moment's notice. She did laundry weekly (I think on Wednesdays) and it only took her one day. After that she was done. Tough household, I know, but I think I am better for it. I know grown men today who can't do laundry and don't respect their own property much less other's stuff. *edited for spelling errors

Old question....but it brought back memories...lol Our son and our roommate's son shared the upstairs attic room...which is pretty huge! I started by giving them EACH their own hamper to put dirty clothes in...they did their own laundry. First we asked them to clean it all up, then we nagged a bit..then we told them that anything we find on the floor that doesn't belong on the floor would be going away. AND it did. Once they started keeping things in a more respectful way...then things started reappearing. And if the room was not kept up (not cleaned once a week) and clothes began to be kept on the floor...then they disappeared again. After the "last" go-round, it was no longer discussed with them...they knew what to expect, they just didn't know when we might visit their room.

Hiring a maid will do nothing. I would ground him for the weekend.

Stay out of his room. Stop doing his laundry. Under no circumstances should you hire a maid to take careof a 13 year old child's clean-up. When he begins to pick up after himself then you can start helping with his laundry. I did say "helping". Even in 2008, children of every wealth class must learn to take care of the personal chores--like cleaning their rooms, laundry, and helping with washing dishes. I would shrink his allowance until things get better.

None of the above. He thinks it's his private space, so be it. If he won't take care of his stuff, it's not your job. Don't do his laundry, don't do any cleaning around his space, etc etc. Within 2 weeks he'll have it all off his floor, he doesn't want to be the stinky kid next to the cute girl in class.

I think to many people here have got very short memories, you cannot tell me that all of you people tidied up your stuff when you was a 13 year old kid. Get real and get on with it, it's what parenting is all about.

I think that you should take away all of his stuff until he trys to cooperate with you not make him lazy.

Don't hire a maid, what he needs is a good spanking and the clear understanding that he is to obey his parents.

Put everything in a binliner and put it in the dustbin,when he get home and ask's where it is tell him anytime you find a mess like that it goes in the bin and you dont intend to replace it,then the ball is left in his court.

Who hires a maid for this? Probably not even the richest people.

Hire a maid? No way! Teach him to pick up after himself and, until he does, he needs to be grounded (or otherwise punished.) As hard as it will be for you, PLEASE DO NOT continue to clean up after him! He'll get the message after he's lived in his own clutter and filth for a while. Good luck with this.

Do not hire a maid. You need to teach him that he has to be responsible for his things. Confiscating things he likes could work, but my mom, when I didn't hang up and put away my clothes, she'd say that if I didn't put them away immediately she'd not be doing my laundry next time. Once I didn't, and she followed through, I did my laundry for a month, and I learned my lesson.

If I left stuff on the floor, my mom would pick it up, but I would have to pay to get it back. We didn't get allowances, either.

You have let this problem develop for 13 years now so don't expect miracles overnight. First is you have to lead by example, if your room or house is cluttered he's learning from you. Tell him your minimum expectations and give him a time frame to do it. Until it meets your specs, limit his privileges. A very messy disorganized room is a big challenge even to a 13 yr old so offer some suggestions, storage bins etc. Acknowledge his progress and I would not make this a power struggle or fixate on what he hasn't or didn't do well. At the most just say it looks like you took some shortcuts here, do you think you can do a little better job?

I had this problem with my teenager. I found a wonderful book that was actually recommended on AB a while back called "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk." I found it very helpful in breaking that chain of constantly trying to get my teen to clean up her room through coersion, threats, nagging, etc., and her not doing it. It's a quick, easy and effective read. Good luck to you.

If you hire a maid, you'll be setting him up to be divorced multiple times as a man. Your future daughters-in-law will not be happy with you for letting him get away with that. Just tell him that any clothing he leaves on the floor will be thrown away and replaced with clothing of your choice (think shirt and tie or something he'll think is really dorky). Clean it up one time so you'll be able to see which is which. Then the first thing he leaves on the floor, including closet floor, gets thrown out, no ifs, ands or buts. Anything that isn't clothing or textbooks gets thrown out and not replaced. He'll get the message.

Save yourself aggravation by not constantly reminding him but make it clear if he doesn't get his dirty clothes into the laundry in time for you to do the wash, they won't get done unless he cares to do them himself. When it gets to the stage where he has nothing to wear to school, he'll most likely reconsider.

Before you have a heart attack..close his door and forget it!! don't wash his clothes or clean his room. He needs some privacy and you need to be sane..Let the boy be 13 he has many years ahead of him to be old, boring and clean like the rest of us...

At 13 my kids knew how to wash their own clothes. Try teaching your child responsibilty so the rest of us dont have to deal with a mamas boy later.

Seriously, why would you hire a maid? That would only show that you have absolutely no authority and obey his wishes rather than making yourself clear. He's not an adult so stop trying to treat him that way. He's got a few more years before he can make real decisions, until then he needs to be told and shown how it's done. Stop reading books and seeking advice over and over again for this issue because in the end I believe every parent knows the answer. It's discipline. If he doesn't obey what you ask him to do, then why not just tell him you've had it. Turn the game around and MAKE him feel sorry for simply ignoring you. I said sorry many times to my parents and my parents were not the strictest either. They just had expectations I needed to meet. Simple ones at 13.

put him on the naughty step

Do you have a friend with a daughter about the same age as your son? tell your friend what you're up to, and then invite the girl over while your son is there. Take her in to see his room. He'll be so embarrassed he'll have it cleaned up in 5 minutes.

Hiring a maid? i do not think so. Where is the mother instinct in you? if your child is misbehaving, then punishment is the course of action. At age 13, its a little late to start, but better late than never. Sure, do whatever it takes to restore responsibilty to your son. Take away his cellphone. no entertainment for 30 days. no allowance. Just do something, anything BUT hire a maid.

Both of my kids did that. I taught them how to use the washer and dryer. Sometimes they had to wear dirty clothes. Oh well.

Just ignore it. Its only clothes like. There are more important things in life to fret over

Let him leave his clothes there until he has none left and has to go to school smelly. That's what my mom did and I learned how to do my own laundry pretty darn fast.

No way would I hire a maid. I would just leave him alone until he had to wear dirty drawers to school for a couple of days. Then let him just come to you. Things like this work themselves out. Choose your battles. A nasty room is bad, but it's not sex, drugs and alcohol. He will come around when he runs out of clothes and his friends tell him he stinks like old sweatsocks and stale underwear. Good luck.