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by aliciadanielle0512 on December 11th, 2007

aliciadanielle0512

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I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and married my husband 2 months ago. He's become abusive again after 4 years since a restraining order was ordered and I need to get out asap but he's threatening to take custody of our unborn child. What are my rights?

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Answers. 17 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on April 28th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Make sure when you leave you have your documentation with you such as your birth certificate, social security card, etc. Even if don't leave today always keep those documents in a safe place for when you do leave you have them. If you need help you can call 1800 Lifenet. Good Luck!

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  • by Anonymous on December 15th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Leave now...before the baby is born. Get the hell out! Do not listen to his threats! You left before so you know how to do it...so do it!! Once an abuser...always an abuser

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  • by P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines on December 11th, 2007

    P. W. Pasobrio loves Marines

    Since the baby is in your belly and you left him out of abuse before you hold all the cards. There's no way he can take custody of an unborn child. And if you file for divorce before the baby's born possion is nine tenths of the law in custody cases. This is one case where you are going to have all the rights and he will have none. Especially if you file on grounds of abuse. I want you to pack your bags and leave even if it means going to a shelter under police protection. And if he threatens you just look at him and say "I dare you." I'll bet he runs and hides like the big baby he is.

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  • by Grammy Robin on April 29th, 2008

    Grammy Robin

    He is only using this as a threat to keep you there.
    Don't!! Leave now!

    As to your rights. You have the right to be safe and you are not where you are now.

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  • by Live to Ride on April 29th, 2008

    Live to Ride

    Well, if he kills you or your baby then you won't have to worry about it anymore. Get out, FAST, worry about the logistics later.

    ...But I will add if he's ever had a restraining order, he will never win custody.

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  • by suzycue on April 28th, 2008

    suzycue

    Telephone or go to a Women's shelter near you, look in the Yellow pages....they will come and get you, if need be. They will tell you everything you need to know about your rights and everything else. You will be well cared for and found appropriate housing for yourself and child. They will even relocate you, if that is what you want.
    Do it today...don't wait for him to hurt you so bad that you lose this baby!!

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  • by KalSuper5 on April 28th, 2008

    KalSuper5

    well first of all i would highly doubt that he could take custody of the child because most courts leave the children in their mothers care unless there is inconclusive evidence that your a bad mother. But if you want to know ur rights go to a lawyer because what most of us say is just what we have heard.

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  • by JTP on April 28th, 2008

    JTP

    Please, it's almost impossible for a father to get custody even if he's the perfect person, an abusive husband has no rights what-so-ever.

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  • by Wickels on December 15th, 2007

    Wickels

    Think about this logically for a second. He is abusive, you have court documentation of this. He has forced you to get a restraining order. Do you think a judge os going to give custody of this child to him? I highly doubt that!!

    Get out now. He is not going to get better. You need to care for your own saftey, and the saftey of your child. This is what is important here.

    Also, in order to make this more difficult on him. Assuming that you are not going to have him in the hospital with you, you can not put his name on the birth certificate. That would make it harder for him to prove it is his child, and he'd have to shell out for a paternity test.

    Best of luck!!

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  • by darkmp25 on May 7th, 2008

    darkmp25

    I run into this almost everyday. My company handles people like him. Just leave, he cant do anything. If what you say is true then the court will never allow him to take the child.

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  • by darthson decries derigible destruction on December 15th, 2007

    darthson decries derigible destruction

    You have the past. If he has recently abused you, get to a doctor and have him document the damage to your body. Tell the doctor that you have an abusive husband that did this. Get as much documentation and witnesses as possible to stand by you; depending what state/nation you live in, things can get sticky, even with past cases stacked against him.

    I do know that in most places, laws tend to favor the mother for custody, and if you can prove recent abuse, it should be a no-brainer for any judge.

    In any case, protect yourself and your child NOW and get out! This will all be for naught if he hits you while trying to find a way to keep custody, and that strike causes a miscarriage.

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  • by bsnorty on May 3rd, 2008

    bsnorty

    I can tell you that you need a lot of documentation if your going to claim abuse in the court system for sole custody rights. The family court systems are SLOWLY learning about Domestic abuse and the fathers rights groups in this country is strong. Educate yourself and DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT!
    Abusive men are all about threats - it is their way of keeping control over you. Be strong and be smart, get as much help as you can and talk to people, you would be surprised how much people can help.
    Good luck, and remember you're braver than you think!

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  • by zazzy_one on April 29th, 2008

    zazzy_one

    I am a lawyer. This is not enough information to answer the question. If you let me know what jurisdiction you are in, I will refer you to some professionals that can help you. Often their are lawyers who volunteer on this type of situation.

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  • by funnymama on May 7th, 2008

    funnymama

    I do not know if you live in California. In California, you would be best off calling a Domestic Violence Hotline where they can direct you to a Shelter to stay for you and the unborn child's safety.
    You do not need to be in Harm's way. Please call "411" and ask for the Domestic Violence Number. I believe it is 1-800-499-SAFE. Good Luck! Also, Your Husband, Abusive "Father" is not going to get custody of your child. He is Dangerous and NO Court will allow him near the child. You need to stay strong and be a Good Mother!

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  • by Chatte on December 20th, 2008

    Chatte

    I'm not sure where you live, but in the state of GA if the mother of the child allows the father to so much as take the child for ice cream, the father then has every right to keep the child unless a court has granted the mother full and total custody. This came from a cop who was explaining to my best friend why she needed to get a restraining order against her husband.

    Call your local women's shelter or your local police department. They deal with this all the time and laws are vastly different from state to state so any advice you get online may or may not do you any good.

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  • by kourageous kitty on April 29th, 2008

    kourageous kitty

    he cant take your child if you get out now,and report the abuse. hes only saying it so that you will be too scared to go and he can keep control. go now before your child is born into the abuse

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  • by suzycue on May 8th, 2008

    suzycue

    As a follow up....how are you? What did you do eventually? I am sure all of us would like to know you are OK.

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You're reading I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and married my husband 2 months ago. He's become abusive again after 4 years since a restraining order was ordered and I need to get out asap but he's threatening to take custody of our unborn child. What are my rights?

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