by 
khammer
ANSWERS: 8
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Only time will allow you to forgive but you will never forget.
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If you are the kind of person who prays, then try praying for the person who has hurt you. And I don't mean "God, please inflict so-and-so with shingles." Pray positive things for them. I find it almost impossible to hold a grudge against someone that I am blessing in this way. And remember the words of Carrie Fischer (an odd source of wisdom, to be sure): "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Forgiveness is good for *you*.
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You need to define really bad, but for the most part I don't. I hold a grudge for a really long time. Maybe when they are dead I'll consider it.
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I'm afraid I don't. It would always be in the back of my mind.
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If they hurt you intentionally, stay far away from them for good! If the hurt was unintentional you do not need forgive but rather understand why they did it and then try to help them understand that they should never do it again.
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Forgiving starts with giving up the right to punish the offender. If someone has done something to harm you, you'll most likely take a "recriminating" position -- some form of "they shouldn't have done that and I want to make them pay for it". To forgive, you have to recognize this desire for "payback" and choose to give it up. There's a generosity in that: as far as you're concerned, you have a RIGHT to payback -- they "owe you". To simply surrender your right to that revenge seems illogical to the ego: "why would I give that up!? They owe me!" So it's an act of generosity to give it up, just like it's an act of generosity to give money to charity -- you have a right to that money, and you're just giving it away. So when you forgive, you move from being vengeful to being generous. Coming up with the willingness to do that takes courage, but it's not complicated.
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This is how it was explained to me (I should say that my uncle said it and he is a pastor at my church) "God forgives us all our sins because his only son died for us on the cross right? So are you better than God? Do you know more? Then who are you to not forgive someone?" I felt like I'd been sucker punched. I'd never thought of it like that. This person had hurt me really badly, and worse they had hurt my kids. I've forgiven him, but I haven't forgotten. When you forgive you take their power away, but when you forget you give the power right back.
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First you have to realize that the guy is not good enough for you, then every time you think about him remember what he did to you and try to meet other guys... and don't forget to have fun and stay busy that way u won't even have time to think about that lame…
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