by jin jang on December 5th, 2007

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Is loneliness just a state of mind,for one can be lonely in a crowd, yet feel content with being by one's self. What creates loneliness and how is that different than being alone and being comfortable and joyful without the constant need of others?

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by Stableboy on December 5th, 2007
Loneliness is the illusion of separation turned up to to full volume -- nothing to drown it out.

There's a lot of "suppressed loneliness" going on for most of us: a sense of being separate and isolated, but with enough distractions going on so that we don't notice it. Loneliness is just noticing that sense of separation, typically when the distractions have been removed temporarily.

So the real question is "where does the sense of separation come from?", because without that notion that one is separate, there's no loneliness in the deepest cave or the most crowded mall. The sense of separation comes from our beliefs and conditioning about who and what we are -- a separate bag of skin and bones in a universe filled with alien objects and people. It's the "inside vs. outside" division, "self vs. other", "subjective vs. objective".

These dualities come from a common cognitive mistake: taking a "basis of discrimination" such as self-vs-other, and promoting it to the status of Absolute fact. When we believe in these dualities, when we think they really represent the truth about reality, and then we apply those beliefs to "myself", we end up with a self which is cut off from "other" -- everything in the universe which is considered "not me". That mistake sets the stage for a whole raft of human malfunctions and suffering, including loneliness.
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- Thank you for your very clear,deep, and concise answer.
  
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  by jin jang on December 5th, 2007
- Thanks, MrSublime!
  
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  by Stableboy on December 5th, 2007
- Your welcome
  
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  by jin jang on December 5th, 2007
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by Gingerminx on December 5th, 2007
Loneliness is when you WANT to talk to someone and there is no one there.
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by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on December 5th, 2007
I think it all comes down to choice. You can be alone by choice and not be lonely. But to be alone and lonely because you have no option is something else.
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- That makes sense,for recluses and monks spend a lot of time alone meditating,contemplating, and seem perfectly happy in their own company.
  
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  by jin jang on December 5th, 2007
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by fairyboots on December 21st, 2009
I think that loneliness may be from not meeting your needs for human interaction/intimacy...even if you enjoy being alone most of the time, we are social creatures!
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Is loneliness just a state of mind,for one can be lonely in a crowd, yet feel content with being by one's self. What creates loneliness and how is that different than being alone and being comfortable and joyful without the constant need of others?

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Is loneliness just a state of mind,for one can be lonely in a crowd, yet feel content with being by one's self. What creates loneliness and how is that different than being alone and being comfortable and joyful without the constant need of others?

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