Ask a Question
or
Create a Poll
  1. Home /
  2. Questions /
  3. Relationship Advice
  4. / Dating
  5. / Cheating In Relationships
  6. / Getting Over Cheating

by lizvelrene on March 28th, 2006

lizvelrene

Question

Help answer this question below.

My new boyfriend was cheated on in the past, and now worries that I will do the same. I have never cheated on anyone. How can I alleviate his fears?

Share:
Other

Answers. 4 helpful answers below.

  • by Crons1eg on April 14th, 2006

    Crons1eg

    As a boyfriend that has been cheated on, i can say first hand that being cheated on not only destroys your trust in your partner . . . it destroys your trust in everything. It makes you wonder what your friends and family really do behind your back. Hell, i was even suspicious of my cat! He can't help it but to be worried that it will happen again.

    It is only natural to have doubts for some time after something like that. But they need to be delt with and resolved in a healthy way. It's not fair to you if he takes it out on you or is never able to fully commit to your relationship because of his doubts and insecureties. If that is the case then neither of you are going to be happy.

    But if he is dealing with it in a healthy way and showing you respect and love then neither is it fair to him for you to set a deadline for him to resolve his feelings. Try to take-the-role-of-the-other and understand what he went through.

    People cheat for two different reasons: The don't care about the affect their infidelity will have on their relationship/partner, and they don't know that it will have such an affect on their relationship/partner. Show him that you care and that you understand (and hopefully you'll never know) what infidelity can do to a relationship and a person. If he truely loves and respects you you and you truely love and respect him then in time he'll want to put him self out there again and fully commit knowing in his heart that you will be faithful.

    I wish you two the best

    • Like
    • Report

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Answers101 on April 13th, 2006

    Answers101

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Over time, your actions toward him, will prove that you're not a cheater, so don't worry about it.

    Bottom line: You don't have to PROVE anything to anyone--only to yourself, so the best advice is to not give it a second thought and he'll see over time that you're not the cheating type.

    • Like
    • Report

    1 comment | Post one | Permalink

  • by dkd45805 on July 27th, 2006

    dkd45805

    I am actually going through the same thing! My boyfriend had two ex girlfriends cheat on him in the past. He even walked in on one of his ex girlfriends while she was cheating. I have never cheated, and I would never cheat. My boyfriend worries a lot, and he has said that sometimes I do or say things that make him experience "Deja Vu". My biggest concern is that he might not be over his ex girlfriend that cheated. Is he comparing me to her? If I remind him of her, and he thinks of her often, then am I in a threesome? Am I a substitute? I feel very strongly for him...but I can't be a substitute.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

  • by Blowercup8ip on March 29th, 2006

    Blowercup8ip

    Sorry he had to go through thta, it must have been hard for him, so try to understand him. It's hard for someone to move on and get over getting cheated on. There was no excuse for what she did he to him, but good thing she's his ex now. Now, you're there to support him and help him get over it. He does seem insecure, which I think anyone would be with that history, he's trying to trust you. It's okay, it may take a while for him to let it go, don't worry. You can go to counseling with him, that'll help him release all his mixed emotions. You have to also remind him that was the past, now he's with a different girl with morals and values.

    No comments. Post one | Permalink

Want to attach an image to your answer? Click here.

Did this answer your question? If not, then ask a new question or create a poll.

More Questions. Additional questions in this category.

You're reading My new boyfriend was cheated on in the past, and now worries that I will do the same. I have never cheated on anyone. How can I alleviate his fears?

Follow us on Facebook!

Related Ads

Related Questions

Professionally Researched

ANSWERBAG BUZZ

Why do i care about my girlfriends past boyfriend
Boyfriend cheated in the past will he again
Crankshaft position sensor 95 buick skylark
I cheated now she has a new boyfriend will it last
Boyfriend has been cheated on in the past by ex girlfriends

Answerbag

a Demand Media company