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by James Fear on March 22nd, 2006

James Fear

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I’m dating a girl who is very shy and doesn’t talk much. I asked her why, and she said there just wasn’t much to talk about. Is there a way to make her talk?

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Answers. 19 helpful answers below.

  • by Empress of Everything Ever on January 19th, 2007

    Empress of Everything Ever

    Okay I get to do the silly answer... (think about what I am writing....I am a bit on the sly side...hee hee)

    Tie her up and ask her questions incessantly...keep asking and demanding answers....pin her down...ask personal questions...ask deep and meaningful questions...keep asking and asking and asking....eventually she will answer just of out sheer exhaustion and....you will have talking girlfriend.....next thing you will be on AB asking, "how do I shut my girfriend up..she won't stop talking?"

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  • by Alatea on March 23rd, 2006

    Alatea

    You can try to draw her out of her shyness by asking her about herself. Ask about her hopes and dreams. If she's in school ask what plans she may have for the future and where she sees herself five years from now. Ask about her family and what her favourite foods, movies and music might be. Make conversation and be a conversationalist. In time she will respond but if not then you have a problem because all relationships need communication if they are to last. It can't always be one-sided.

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  • by quartix33 on January 19th, 2007

    quartix33

    think of a conversation topic, and something you like to talk about, so you have a lot to say. eventually she will open up, because she will have stuff to say. i'm a shy girl too, and i would definitely talk if the other person did. =) lol

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  • by Anonymous on January 19th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I am the same way, so from my own point of view, I hate it when people ask me to talk more.

    You can't make people talk more, because that is really asking them to be someone they are not. But she may also be self-conscious of her self, atleast from my point of view again.

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  • by Valkarie on January 19th, 2007

    Valkarie

    making her feel comfortable with who she is...I was very shy and didn't get out of that until I was a young adult

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  • by jenniferx on January 19th, 2007

    jenniferx

    i used to be that way. i was painfully shy. just make her feel as comfortable as you can. try to do things with her that don't require a lot of talking at first. she ,if she's anything like i used to be, just needs time and patience. so if you like her that much, you'll give that to her. if she doesn't talk much, don't pressure into talking. eventually she will get comfortable around you and talk more. take her to movies or shows. try to get her loosened up so that she trusts you and feels comfortable. i wish someone had given this advice to a boyfriend in high school when i was like that. she'll eventually get through it. she's just shy, just be patient. good luck. i mean that. i really feel for your girl.

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  • by akbitt on January 19th, 2007

    akbitt

    Well, I am a shy girl, so this girl is most likely just getting used to the situation. Try maybe joking around, or tickle her or something. Once she starts to laugh, her gaurd will be down and shell probably start to talk =]

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  • by killdrphil - reasonable for a madman on June 1st, 2008

    killdrphil - reasonable for a madman

    Sounds like she needs to develop interests. When people have interests, they have something to talk about. So...find out what interests her and talk about that. This could lead to a conversation sort of snowballing.

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  • by Shay37 on June 1st, 2008

    Shay37

    You can't change someone's character. There are obviously a HUGE selection of characters out there.. and not into idle chit chat is one of them. If you are patient enough, she will get to know you and share all of her thoughts with only you eventually.. But for now... she's the type that has to warm her way up.

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  • by sarcasmiQ on June 1st, 2008

    sarcasmiQ

    since you know her, yes you can but you've got to figure out times in which she can talk i mean, there may be days
    where she doesn't feel like talking and days da she feels
    like talking but da disadvantage is da it's a random time
    so you can't make her talk on da day in which she doesn't
    feel like talking and i know this bec. i'm kinda related to her.

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  • by -O-uknow on June 3rd, 2007

    -O-uknow

    Mistakenly call her by anothers name.

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  • by jammnwright on January 19th, 2007

    jammnwright

    I think your looking at it all wrong. It sounds like a blessing in disguise! I would enjoy it while it lasts. before too long, she will never stop talking.

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  • by timetogetserious on January 19th, 2007

    timetogetserious

    I would just start conversation with her and ask questions, that way she has to answer them and join in the conversation.

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  • by Wendora on January 19th, 2007

    Wendora

    Lips are not just for talking, they are for kissing.

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  • by romelang1 on January 20th, 2007

    romelang1

    Obviously she isn't good at small talk. Let her be. Maybe she's been in the situation in the past where anything she said was decried by others (parents are good at this) so now she is very hesitant to put forward any sort of opinion on anything for fear that you will think she's stupid! Once you gain her confidence and she sees that you respect her opinions, she'll be OK. God....you wouldn't want one of those silly airheads who prattle on about nothing just for the sake of it, would you?

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  • by jennifer225 on January 22nd, 2007

    jennifer225

    in my opinion if you guys know eachother for long now then you should be worried.. have you thought about the possibilities of her not being interested in you..maybe that could be it. i dont want you to think im being mean but sometimes girls are afraid to tell a guy that they are not feeling them..

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  • by RockRchick on June 3rd, 2007

    RockRchick

    Ask her about things you know she likes to do. If she reads alot ask her about her favorite author and the type of novels she reads, or if she likes being outdoors ask her to go on a hike. Doing the things she likes with her and talking to her about them may just get her to open up and maybe make more comfortable with you.

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  • by Hdsweetpea on February 10th, 2007

    Hdsweetpea

    Yeah, I've been that girl. You could ask her lots of questions about herself. Ask her how her day was, ask her how her mom is... whatever. Or, you could do as all the other girls who have been 'that girl' suggested. Don't press her too hard. Don't make her think that it's such a huge deal. Is she dealing with a lot at home right now? That could be another reason for her silence besides just being 'shy'(as others have suggested she may be). As suggested before, try an activity that doesn't require talking (not the movies or TV), but more like something that will get her wheels turning- maybe a card game, shooting hoops, or playing with animals at the pound. Sometimes it just takes a little playfulness on your part.

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  • by fluffylucy on July 8th, 2011

    fluffylucy

    be nice to her and accept her for who she is. she may not talk much but sometimes the silences are as good or better and if she feels like talking, you may just be the one she does it with.

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