by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 5
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Respect is earned, never given. Defer to your fiancé (I'm assuming you are female and he is male or it would have been fiancée) when it comes to matters of child rearing. A child needs to see constancy. Children don't know how to vocalize or deal with emotions. They often therefore act out in many ways. They seek to have stability and a new person in their life is not stability. I strongly suggest that you ensure that your fiancé is always there and that he deals with any disrespect swiftly (children don't always understand deferred consequences, the immediacy is key.) Deal with the child with respect. Let your fiancé show the child through actions that you are there for the long run and that he won't tolerate disrespect and don't put yourself in situations where you are alone with the child. And remember that you must respect his son or you will never get respect back from him. But always ensure that he does the parenting and he's consistent in his parenting. The reason that teachers get respect is just that, they are consist and defer parenting to the parents.
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Don't. It's not your place to discipline a child that isn't yours. Leave it to his parent because if you do discipline him, it's a breach of boundaries and you're the one out of line.
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Bowlermommy.. the question was: How does this person DEAL with the child...not how does she DISCIPLINE.. two different issues. My view, if the fiance ALLOWS to the child to be disrespectful without checking...then maybe it is time to move out of the relationship. A fiance who cares will not allow their children to speak or act disrespectfully to anybody they care and love too.
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I do not have kids, myself. I have had a lot of experience babysitting, over the years, as a favor to many friends. A few years ago, I watched a five year old and a two year old. The oldest one would sometimes say disrespectful things to me. I dealt with it by telling him that he did not talk to me like that. I only used verbal remarks to deal with him. Verbal correction and tone of voice worked for me. If it would have continued, I would have sent him to his father when my friend arrived back home. Good luck!
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I heard from Dr. Phil that a step-parent should NOT discipline the step-children because it's not their place. I agree. The kid is just probably upset right now because he doesn't want to see his mom with another man. That's all, he'll get use to you. But, remember, it's the biological parent's responsability to discipline the kid, NOT yours.
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