My father beat me yesterday because I cut myself,and he ended up putting my head through a window.Calling the police will result in ruining his life, as he has already had several warnings. He is 62. My mum says I should just avoid him. What do you think?

He needs help. You need Help. Call the police.

Screw his life.

Call the cops and get yourself OUT of that situation. No one deserves to be beaten by their parents. I know first hand how hard that can be to live with - and the best thing I ever did was FINALLY turn my mother in. Didn't help my childhood at all, but now, by law, she can have no effect on my children - and that is the most important thing to me.

This is abuse. Do not just avoid him. She probably doesn't want to get the police involved. It is very possible that she is scared of what he will do to her if you get help. Well, GET HELP ANYWAY. Tell the police the whole story. You say that he has already had several warnings. You say that calling the police will result in ruining his life. Well, you know what will result in you ruining your life? You not acting NOW, you living with the guilt of knowing you could have prevented something if only you weren't afraid to hesitate for help. Do you really want to live like this? If what you are saying is true, grab the phone, and call 911. Seriously, this is abuse. If he is going to beat you because you are cutting yourself, wouldn't that only cause you to cut yourself even more?

You should call the cops on him. He knows better, so when he chooses to strike you, he chooses to suffer the consequences of it. Send his ass to jail!

No way and your mum shud be more supportive id kick him out for a start no way would any man be it my childs father would ever lay a finger on my child!!!!!

Ring the police and have him arrested he will get what he deserves he needs to be responsible for his actions what will you do?wait for him to kill you you must sort this out now!
Good luck

I think we can all see why you "cut" yourself, but you should really stop, (you may need to get in a group session or some free therapy to do this). However, something has GOT TO BE DONE about this man! It sounds like you still may be too young to leave home, but you have to get out of those situations that put you and him together, especially alone.
First, lay down the law. Tell him that the next time he so much as looks at you "cross-eyed", you WILL call the police, and STICK TO YOUR WORD! Next, google on the internet for some local "free" therapy classes or sessions. These will give you better ways to cope with this mess. And last, keep an eye out (if possible) to make sure he's not abusing someone else who may be scared and unable to stop him, (like his "new" wife, or your brothers.
If he's been abusing you, you can almost gaurantee he is abusing others, too. The cycle MUST stop, before someone is very seriously hurt. It sounds to me like he has had enuff chances to stop, but, if you want to give him that one last chance, make it clear. I lived thru an abusive childhood and I just wish I had known then what I know now. It definitely effects some of the ways you lead the rest of your life, (and sometimes, not in a good way). It took several years with my wife before I could open up and show any emotion. Thank God SHE (my wife) didn't give up on me! There's no telling how many people you will be helping, if you turn him in.

Since you went to the hospital and there is documentation, I would obtain those records and also document your injuries with pictures. Then I would suggest sitting down with him when he is in a rational state of mind. Include your mom and brothers and any other family members that might be supportive. CALMLY explain to him that his behavior is not that of a loving father towards his daughter and that there will no more warnings -- this is it. If he ever lays a hand on you (or your brothers) again, you will contact the police, you will press charges, and you will see to it that he does time. Make sure he understands that you have the proof needed to put him away and if he so much as threatens you again, make good on your promise.
Good luck to you and your family. These situations rarely ever get any better for those living with a bully like your dad.

If you are underage and have no other place to go other than home No you shouldn't just try to avoid him. If he has done things of this nature before and been warned but still chooses to physically abuse and be abusive then what happens to him and his life is ultimately his choice. And the results of his actions and his actions alone.

I say you should call the police. It isn't you calling the police and holding him responsible for his actions that will ruin his life. It is HIS actions that did that. You need to stop enabling him and protecting him from the consequences of his actions.

What good would avoiding him do? He did it once whats going to stop him the next time. Having an abusive father myself I went through the same thing growing up
my parents getting divorced is the only thing that stopped it. I wouldn't hesitate calling the cops to report everything he did. How safe do you think your mother is? If he can't abuse you he's going to find someone to take his problems out on.

I don't know how old you are, or why you cut yourself. I believe more info is required in order to give you a better answer, but over all, it should be your mother who should protect you from him. But if she doesn't, you should call the police without any kind of remorse. You wouldn't be the one ruining his life, it would be himself for being abusive towards you. Good Luck.

Your mom should go to jail, too, for failing to protect her child. They can be penpals. He's pretty much ruined your life without so much as a thought. He's the perfect example of how not to be with a child. If that isn't clear enough, try looking at it this way - would anybody put up with him treating them that way? I'd rip his head off if he tried that crap with me.

your mom has issues.

I have a few clarifying questions as things don't quite sound right.

1. Why were you cutting yourself at your brother's birthday party? Did you want attention for yourself because it was your brother's special day?

2. Why did your mom call your dad? Because you were being difficult to deal with and causing a scene by cutting yourself and she didn't know how to control you?

3. What did you do when your dad got there? Were you already agitated that your mom called him? Was he already agitated that he got called because his kid was demanding attention?

4. Did he really put your head through a window or did you get into a physical struggle and you got pressed or pushed against a window that then cracked or broke?

5. Are you trying to get back at your folks for splitting up by causing distress?

6. How old are you? How many siblings do you have? Does your mother have a new boyfriend/husband and are there step-siblings involved in this family circle you currently reside in?

7. What is your history of trouble that does not involve incidents with your father? Do you constantly get in trouble at school, at home, with the police, are you considered a troubled youth?

The reason I ask these questions is because we are getting one side of the story. For all we know, you could have cut yourself for attention at your brothers birthday party because your mom told you to stop causing trouble on his birthday. You may have argued with your mother and demanded medical attention for your cut so that she was forced to prioritize you over them/him (brother/brothers). She may then have called your dad over, who then asked you what you were thinking, and for all we know you yelled at him and he slapped your mouth. You may have struggled with him and backed yourself into the window breaking the glass (which is easy to do on old windows). When it's all said and done, you could be claiming that your dad beat you and put your head through a window and had to go to the hospital for the self-inflicted wound instead of any wound your father may have given you.

Being that your father is 62, he probably came from an upbringing where you didn't talk back to your folks and argue with them because you would get smacked. It's probably his only way with dealing with it. You on the other hand come from a broken home during a time where it seems acceptable to be confrontational with ones parents and when the two generations collide, nothing good happens.

You sound like a teenager, and at his age, you probably are the younger of a bunch of kids, probably coddled.

I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but only because none of us know your REAL situation. Many are taking your side as an abused child, but the fact that there are several clues in your question and comments that indicate you too have behavioral issues that create more issues of discord in the home.

I think that family counceling with you and your mother and your father will help you guys sort out your aggression, resentment, and abandonment issues. I get the feeling that when you enter the room, the tension rises for everyone around.

I may be way off, but someone has to step back and assess the situation objectively.

If it occurred exactly as you stated without provocation, then it's straight out abuse and call the police.

But if it was a progressive escalation where all parties involved let it get to a point of such mayhem, then everyone is to blame since no one showed restraint and backed down. Everyone is guilty.

Kick his ass. Teach him a lesson. Police usually just make things worse and you need to keep this in the family, if you can. A good ass-whupping will help him change his attitude, so make the lesson stick but be prepared to move out for a while.
On the other hand, you could just avoid him.

You know what you need to do - It's just difficult. Take a deep breathe and go for it.

You need to get the police involved that is abuse and who knows what else he is capable of doing. Your mom just does not know what to do probably that is why she says stay away from him. He is her husband and sometimes sides with her husband. You need to get out or get help. I was molested in my own home as a child from stepdad and could not do anything I was frozen in it. I will I had someone help. Please do reach out for help. It can get worse .

Follow ur heart, call the police. You should not really care about ruining his life, yeh so he's ur dad... he makes u cut urself then he cuts u what are you meant to do? I KNOW WHAT I'D DO. Don't avoid him, you might make him angry, just tell the police or call child line (depending on how old u r). If you are over 16 move out.

Here's the number 0800 11 11.

Please be safe choose wisely!!! Anon Hya Mighty

you don't need to protect your father you need to protect yourself. get away from him and go to the police. its hard but he is a dangerous man. he has no right to do that to you, no one should treat you like that. you don't deserve that and your mom sounds like she isn't thinking straight. sorry to hear this and good luck to you.

You didn't say how old yu were. But if you are old enough then move out even if you have to stay at a friends also have nothing at all to do with your father. Cause if he hits you once he has probably hitten you before & will hit you again.

You cut yourself and then he cuts you more by putting your head through glass? Doesn't make much sense his actions. You need to get out of that house and into a treatment program for your "self abuse". I wish you the best.

No you can't just avoid him. That's impossible. How could you live with someone like that?

And I wouldn't think twice about calling the poice. The fact that he has already had several warnings means that he should finally be dealt with. He can't keep getting away with it.

RING

Call the police, so you ruin his life, it sounds to me like he asked for it.

Ruining his life? That is what he is doing to you with his bullying behaivour. He will not stop until he puts you in hospital or drives you so mad you do something desperate and uncontrolled.

Beat him back. Get a big 'ol metal pole or baseball bat and see how he likes it.

If anything comes of it you can always say it was self-defense. Given his track record your word will be stronger than his.

Your mum is trying to keep the peace, you can't blame her but in this situation she is wrong.

you better turn his ass in. it WILL NOT get any better! It's understandable your worried about ruining his life but look real hard who's life is he ruining.......YOURS..... YOU have to stay strong no matter what diriction you go. you deserve to go on through live without abusel.

Get help. Call the police. Dont get childrens services involved. They suck, they don't really do anything. Especially if there is no "typical" evidence.

Call the cops. Abuse is abuse and abusers need to go to jail.

I THINK YOUR MOM IS JUST AS GUILTY . SHE LETS IT HAPPEN AND TO ME IT DONT MATTER IF HE WAS 92 HE DESERVES TO BE PUNISHED FOR HIS ACTIONS LET HIM GO TO JAIL HEY MAYBE HIS CELL MATE WILL TEACH HIM A FEW THINGS ... LIKE HOW IT FEELS TO BE ABUSED. YOU SHOULD TELL SOMEONE AT SCHOOL IF YOU GO TO SCHOOL AND TO CALL THE COPS

call the police or just GET OUT OF THERE! go to a friend's and stay with them. i agree with everyone else, if you are over sixteen, move out. it will be much better for you. good luck

Please dont take your mums advice, she probably feels she is doing the right thing but for all your sakes get the police involved before he kills someone!

I think you should stop cutting yourself for starters and then get out any way you can, no one deserves to be abused in any way!! And your mother should be protecting you not telling you to stay away from someone who is hurting you and making you feel as if you are walking on egg shells
Lauren

He beat you yesterday he will beat you tomorrow and wont stop.. And he wont till you put a stop to it. What happens if he goes too far someday? With you or some one else, then you will realize you would have stopped this when its too late.. If you seen some man doing this to a child what would you do and feel? Just stand around and watch like what your doing now? Ultimatley YOU NEED TO DO SOMTHING ABOUT THIS

he needs help. by you not doing anything you are giving him permission to do it again

How old are you? What bothers me is you say if you call the police it will result in ruining his life... what about your life??

Well if he is 62 he should by easy to avoid,

yes your mom needs help as well get out of their

avoiding him will not help!! call the police or talk to another family memeber you need him out of your life what he is doing/done is not right and it should stop!!! the more he hurts you the more you will hurt yourself, ive been there and i have the scars to prove it! in my experience unless you have marks the police will not jail him, they done nothing 2 my abusive dad! but if hes had other warnings then they shoul dtake this very serious!! when this whole thing is over, you need to help yourself my getting yourself out of the depressed mode and move on-yes it is hard and yes it will take time but it will happen for you. good luck and take care x

First of all cutting youself can hurt you just as bad as if someone were to do to you. You need to seek help for this issue. Also, DEFINATLY if your dad truely abused you, you need to call the police. If you don't want to do that then talk to an adult you trust. If this isn't your mom, then find someone else who can help you.

I can't say anymore than has already been said so just know that my thoughts are w/you and am sending positives thoughts your way!

stop cutting its not cool - and call the police next time your father hurts you

I think you all need family councilling. You should not be cutting yourself and he should not be putting you through a window. If your parents will not go, then you need to go to get some help.

Call the cops n y da hell would u cut urself dats low man

Call the police. Hopefully, he can get some serious counseling so he'll know that that is NOT the way you deal with cutting.

welll if you ask me your mum or dad should not have the right to hit you at all i think you should not invole the pliceo yet because it could ruwen your relaction ship you have with him coz he may never wont to talk to you again after that i think you shud sit him down and have a talk and make it clearly that its not fair and if he has already had warning and u love him even thow he did that to you you have to think is he going to be paid this way by you ruining his life xx

First, are you OK? What a horrible thing for this man to do. Second, Call the police. This man could do the same thing to your brothers. He must be prevented from harming anyone else. How will you feel if one of your brothers gets hurt and you know you could have prevented it? I know I would have a hard time dealing with that. Good luck to you, whatever your choice.

he needs help, and he won't get it unless you and the rest of your family force it on him. You need to involve someone as a 3rd party to do it. The police would be a good start. You can always drop the charges after he gets a few hours behind bars. Might be a wake up call for him. Perhaps tell him you will drop the charges if he agrees to conseling. You should also seek some yourself.

What about YOUR life?? Call the cops. Your mom is just trying to protect him, I'm sure she means well but you need to protect yourself. He'll just do it again, and deep down (or maybe right there on top) you know he's just gonna do it again. CALL THEM PLEASE BEFORE HE HURTS YOU WORSE!!

call CPS - Child Protective Services. they can help you figure out a safe solution, and keep confidentiality. i know it's scary, cuz you may not necessarily want to get a parent in trouble. i know. you could even stay at a place that's like a boarding house - CPS can set that up for 30 days, enough time for parents to calm down. Remember, at some point, you can't keep thinking about him - he's NOT thinking about you; and deserves consequences.
For now, yes avoid him. But if anything happens again - ANYTHING - do something about it. This is YOUR life; you get ONE. You don't wanna be suffering the problems caused by abuse for the rest of your childhood or adult life.
and hun (idk if ur boy or girl),i'm a teen, and am one-year cutting free. it's addictive, i know. but don't do it. ask a doctor for anti-depressants if ur not on them, and excersice will help build ur seratonin.
you don't deserve what's going on, and i promised myself i wouldn't allow anyone else to go through this. please answer me back. i want to know ur ok.

call police,no child needs to avoid there Dad because he might be in a bad mood or whatever and abuse them.

He's already ruined his life and he's going to keep on ruining others as well unless he gets control of his anger. So I think you should call the police on him.
What if he and his new wife have kids? He will probably abuse them too.