by Shanon Bartley on February 11th, 2006

Shanon Bartley

Question

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My boyfriend would rather masturbate to porn instead of having sex with me. He says it's because he's gained weight and is too lazy to have sex when the out come is the same. What do I do?

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Answers. 32 helpful answers below.

  • by lady fuschia on March 17th, 2006

    lady fuschia

    I am almost speechless. I can't believe you have to ask about this. The only plausible advice is to leave the lazy, selfish b*st*rd to it - if he can't tell the difference then he won't be missing out - and you can get to looking for one of the millions of guys out there who know that there's a world of difference. Don't compromise your self respect by staying with this loser any longer, when there are probably millions of guys who'd leap at the chance to have sex with you!

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  • by Roger Kovaciny on December 10th, 2006

    Roger Kovaciny

    He's not your boyfriend. He's the boyfriend of pornosluts. You have the opportunity to do what no diet can--get rid of 200 pounds of ugly fat in a single day. How can you possibly disrespect yourself enough not to dump this loser?

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  • by Anon on February 11th, 2006

    Anon

    Tell him that the outcome is NOT the same, and that that is a very selfish response since he has failed to consider your needs and the needs of your relationship. Tell him that while you are still turned on by him despite a little weight gain that if that's really the reason the two of you aren't having sex then it is time the two of you start exercising - even if it just means going bike riding together every other day. If that doesn't seem to be getting through to him, please consider going to relationship counseling to get to the real root of the problem.

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  • by waahwaah on December 5th, 2006

    waahwaah

    are you dating my ex? It sounds like you are. Honey, DUMP HIM! sorry to be so blunt..but if he'd rather watch porn then have sex with you...just think about what marriage will be like. When I went through this, I didn't think there was anyone else in the world that was going through it to..but now I see there is...and this problem is becoming more common with alarming speed. What you need is a guy that prefers good old fashioned girl-boy sex..not boy-computer-hand sex..preferrably not one who is lazy and fat. Your guy sounds selfish to me..and he's probably using the weight thing as an excuse so he won't have to tell you he enjoys jerking off more than having sex with you. It sounds harsh but in most cases like this...they usually have more fun watching it..then actually doing it. GET OUT!!! HE'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE!!

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  • by Daniel Ivey on May 3rd, 2006

    Daniel Ivey

    Don't you see the horrible outcome of what pornography does!? Realize how detrimental it is, don't accept it, and tell others about how bad an effect it has. Call him out on it, and give him the alternative of you or the pictures. But bear with him if he falls back. It's very much like quitting smoking.

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  • by Princess on February 1st, 2008

    Princess

    dump his ass, right now! The guy sounds like a total loser, and you deserve much better than this! Tell him to have anice life with his dick and his porn and walk out...

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  • by LornaJane on August 28th, 2006

    LornaJane

    You could try hauling his ass off to a counsellor, buy some nudie mags of fit looking hunks and do it back.

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  • by .avallach on April 19th, 2007

    .avallach

    Yeah I say move on too. No point in being in a relationship if things aren't going both ways.

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  • by jenniferx on December 19th, 2006

    jenniferx

    that is the most selfish, horrid thing i think i've ever heard. he could be cheating on you. i hope that's not the case but give it some thought. also the outcome is not ths same, what about you? do you not matter? tell him you have needs too and that it really hurt your feelings to hear that and it was very offensive.

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  • by timetogetserious on December 9th, 2006

    timetogetserious

    Your boyfriend needs to get a life, sex with your partner is far more exciting and fulfilling. Mind you sex is great exercise as well.

    Tell your partner he will lose weight and feel much better by having sex with you.

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  • by pigeonpower on December 6th, 2006

    pigeonpower

    what do you do? buy some sexy underwear and seduce him into remembering that sex with a person is so much better than anything on screen!
    Think about the possible reasons for this other than him being lazy, if he's insecure about his weight gain then a good shag will sort that out as well! Seriously, by regaining your intimacy you may well both remember why you wanted each other in the first place.
    hope it works out ok

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  • by Anonymous on October 2nd, 2009

    Anonymous

    The outcome is the same!?!? Honey, you need to dump him! If he truly cared the outcome with YOU would be BETTER. He's selfish and cares more about his pleasure than yours. My boyfriend works HARD to make me orgasm. That is the type of guy every woman should aim for.

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  • by Poindexter on October 2nd, 2009

    Poindexter

    You should admire his honesty, but maybe better from afar.

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  • by laaayla on October 22nd, 2009

    laaayla

    Leave him to "pornobabe" and find yourself another boyfriend. He's addicted to porn. Somethings in life are worth fighting for and others such as this situation are not. Get out before he sucks the live out of you. YOU DESERVE BETTER!

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  • by moemoney on December 10th, 2009

    moemoney

    he's gay I dont care if I have ran 20 miles sex is always good if he cant give it to you then look for it some where else.... i love sex lets hook up lol...

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  • by RepubliCAN on September 5th, 2009

    RepubliCAN

    Leave but provide him with a revealing picture of yourself. That way you may continue to get screwed, with/or without the pleasure that sex provides.
    Bottom line is still leave! If his weight gain is due to fast food, he is on his way to meet his maker.

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  • by moemoney on December 10th, 2009

    moemoney

    he's gay I dont care if I have ran 20 miles sex is always good if he cant give it to you then look for it some where else.... i love sex lets hook up lol...

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  • by lostangleofhope on May 25th, 2008

    lostangleofhope

    I have the same exact issue...when ever i have brogut it up he ends up makeing me feel guilty and i dont leave him...he says that he has stoped but im always parrionied at this point because he always has lied abou it and just gets better at hiding it. im 20 years old and have always wanted alot of sex ...he's 25 and doesnt even want to do it EVER...maybe once a month and its ripping me apart. I consider it as cheating on me as you should too. (however i lack the corage to dump him) i hope that you might find enough self respect and courage to get rid of him...it will never get better :(

  • by Nam1310 on January 22nd, 2007

    Nam1310

    WOW!!!! this is so selfish of his part. he should work out his own self-esteem issues. i have one question how can a person love another when they have no love for themselves?

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  • by Mary on April 19th, 2007

    Mary

    Find someone who will love and value you the way you deserve. This guy is a selfish scumbag who only cares about himself, do you really want to continue to feel this way????. Hurry and leave him along with his dumb ass porno, find yourself a REAL man.

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  • by jennifer225 on January 21st, 2007

    jennifer225

    well, if you love him then you sit him down and talk about it, tell him that a relationship is 50/50 and he needs to satisfy you, if he doesnt care then you know what to do.. just get up and find someone who really cares..

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  • by alexandra49 on January 20th, 2007

    alexandra49

    I had the same problem. I tried to talk about it in a rational way for years. Nothing happened. I left. I'm happy and relieved I don't have to deal with it any more. He's miserable and alone with his hand. Get over him. You deserve better, even if he feels he doesn't... anyone who prefers his hand and porno to an actual willing woman has serious problems you probably don't want to deal with if you aren't married and don't have to.

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  • by muguet on December 10th, 2006

    muguet

    Well, if you break up with him, then he can have his preferred form of sex as often as he wants. I don't know what guy actually thinks that the outcome is the same!

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  • by tris992000 on December 13th, 2006

    tris992000

    Get a new boyfriend fast!

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  • by Will on May 19th, 2007

    Will

    I have now heard it all.

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  • by Anonymous on January 27th, 2008

    Anonymous

    Dump him and get yourself a man instead of a wanking ball of putty!

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  • by badliljoeyboy on February 14th, 2008

    badliljoeyboy

    Move to Ocala, Florida, I can GUARANTEE I won't do that to you, other things yes, but not that...............................................

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  • by Master Of Kings on September 2nd, 2010

    Master Of Kings

    Your bf sounds funny. Ha ha!
    Hes saying you guys have a dull sex life! and he is self conscious about how he looks when you have sex with him.

    Fix it! Spice it up a little its not that hard.

    Plus, does he have any reason to think that you wont like having sex with him because of his weight factor????????????????????????

    If no, prove it to him! that-that doesn't matter to you.
    If it did matter to you tell him to lose weight, however that's REALLY SHALLOW!

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  • by Anonymous on February 14th, 2008

    Anonymous

    my gf would pull the plug on the computer and me stick my plug inside of her, if I watched stupid porn!!!!

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  • by Anonymous on February 14th, 2008

    Anonymous

    then you need to go up to him and seduce him, and tell him how much you miss his love and tell him you want him NOW! be wearing something sexy and go down on him and pull him into your arms and begin to kiss him!!!

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  • by needzinfo on February 14th, 2008

    needzinfo

    Wait till you catch him in the act and immediately service him orally. See if he changes his mind. If he doesn't, then find a horny son-of-a-gun to bang the sh!t out of you.

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  • by sloppywet on May 25th, 2008

    sloppywet

    ditch him''

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