There are many signs and vary from person to person. here are some general controlling behavioral signs: 1, wanting to know your every move, day and night 2...not allowing you to have access to money. no credit, checking, savings or debit card accounts 3. you have very few friends, if any at all 4. complete jealousy 5. screening your every phone call 6. children can have no friends overnight or at all 7. checks the speedometer, each time you leave and return 8...controlling your motions and emotions. cannot cry, without permission. A controlling person must be in control of everything, all the time. most domestic violence occurs, because a controlling partner does not get their way or resistance from the other partner. controlling people are involved in domestic assaults and even death. Recognizing the signs of a controlling person, may save your life or the life of a loved one. the best defense, against a controlling person, is to turn around and.......walk away.

When someone continually refers to you as, "My little puppet". or When you pick up the remote, and your name is printed on one of the buttons.

Well I hope you are not asking because you feel like you might be in a relationship with a controling person. If you are asking yourelf this, You are for sure in a controling relationship and you should do anything you can to get yourself out of it. It does not lead anywhere good. A controling person does not have to follow any pattern or specific behavior. If you feel like you are being controlled or limited in anyway, you are ! and it never gets better, trust me! Good luck!

silence!

When they tell you when you can and when you can't -

I gotta say, I have been accused of being a controller for several years by my wife. Worse yet, she had me believing it. In fact, so much that I had cut my ties with my family and moved 65 miles away. She always led me to believe it was my choice. Recently, I convinced her to move back to my hometown as my father was very ill and I wanted to be nearby for that. 3 weeks ago he took a turn and we knew it was close, 2 weeks ago, she left me and took the kids to a womans shelter where I have had no contact whatsoever with my children, you see she wanted to move away again and I told her that I did not because the kids were happy close to there family. In fact, they were noticeably happier as my entire family had noted. My oldest son now 21 has set roots here and I simply do not want to leave and uproot again. She has attempted to portray me as an abuser, sexually, physically and mentally. Yet if you ask the children and I have asked my 21 yr old, he says I dont know what is wrong with her. You guys have been getting along great. That is true, I had no indication that this was going to happen, Now I have had to obtain an attorney, just to see my kids and fight an order or protection which, the attorney hopes to get thrown out of court in the next day or so. My wife has not only isolated me from my family, she has isolated herself from hers. even when I have tried on several occasions to get her to contact her mother she refuses. All because her mother said something to her a few years ago that made her angry. On halloween, my father passed on, god bless him. It took his death to pull me out of my belief that I was the problem. I have been told by countless people that I was not the problem but never believed it cause she told me I was. She never once made attempt to bring kids to grandpas funeral. How, cold. The man she had told she loved just a week and a half prior now was not worthy. well, my friends of past showed up in numbers. My support was astounding. Shortly after the funeral, I found myself laughing, I had not done that is so long. As we spent the evening together as a group, I began to see the light, I had been in the dark so very long, Now, I speak daily to my best childhood friend, he is so good for me and I feel so content. Even though I am suffering without my kids I am confident that next week at court I will get custody, I have several people going to speak with me and hope for the best. I guess what I am trying to say, is that you need to search in yourself, the controller has a unique way of convincing you that you are the problem and not them. So, beware. I however shall never trust again.

Controlling behaviour can be as varied as the personality of the controller will allow it to be. It doesn't always have to fall into neat categories of money, time or friends. If you find yourself in a situation where one minute your partner is Jekyll and the next they're Hide, if you're confused about their mood swings from one day to the next, you're probably being controlled. Often the controller will conveniently and coincidentally have a mood snap to get his or her own way. Ask yourself the question "Am I in control of this situation for myself?". If you're not sure, or if your answer is no, then step back and observe the situation objectively, as a friend would. Chances are you are losing Yourself in this relationship.

Writing in all caps ,on the mirror with lipstick.

there are a lot of signs that indicate a person is controlling you 1. speaking over you when your in a conversation. 2. not letting you decide what you want to do, they try to over rule that and decide for you. 3. always asking you, who are you calling, when your trying to make a call to family/friends. 4. always taking trying to get you to do something you do not want to do, leading them to make you do it because there trying to out smart you. there is a lot of things that show a person is controlling. take mary brown for example.. 1. gets mad when she is told not to look over my shoulder when i am typing because she thinks i am doing something she does approve of 2. always following me telling me, can not eat that, can not drink that. everytime i go somewhere, where are you going, why do you have to go, when are you coming back, why don't you stay home and all. 3. gets mad when i tell her she is controlling and needs to back the fuck up, she tries to tell me i will do what i want. 4. always forces me to have sex and when i say no she tells me that is not what i wanted to hear, and controls they way i answer

I have just got out out a controlling marriage of 18 months. My husband wanted to get married as soon as possible and couldnt wait , even when i wanted to. He organized the wedding which at the time i thought was fine. Looking back i realsie i didnt have much of a say in things and he even stipulated which colour dress for my bridesmade. I have a daughter who was 6 when we met. He loved her to bits but would get jelous if i gave her more attention than him. Whilst on holiday he dictated when she would eat and what we did every day. She was never allowed to sit next to me when at a restaurant and had to go by his rules. Despite this she thought the world of him as he was very manipulating and clever. As time went by he would get angry when her father rang the house every day to speak to her. He didnt like me discussing anything with my ex partner as he assumed he was trying to win me back all the time and hated me being ammicable with him. I worked as a self employed hairdresser and had a good job but he always said give up as he wanted to look after me and i didnt need to work. I use to go to the gym but he would question if i spoke to anyone all the time and didnt like that i went with my sister so i stopped going and had to go with him. I gave up work and he travelled around the world with his job but even then i had to be home at certain times to talk on the phone or he would say i didnt care. This a just a handful of issues and alot went on in 18 months. I found out he was chatting women up from all over the world talking sexually to them on the same day as he was telling me how much he loved me. I have finished things with him only today and i am left feeling sad...guilty...insecure...and heart broken but for the sake of my daughter i will try to stay strong and never get in that position with any man again.

saying when i can talk .. i do interupt people when i talk but then not finishing what he wanted to say just because while i was listening and said yes as he was talking he got all ... pissy and decided not to complete his conversation (he was going to tell me about the banking he wanted me to do in the next few days) he then walked away came back with a different comment basically have a good day bye (this happened before we went to work 7am in the morning.. to say the least my day sucked grrrrrrr so is this controlling behavior

To be honest, My partner and I have just broken up, I did the breaking up in the middle of a heated argument.. I am about to seek Pysch help because I dont know if I am being controlled or if I am the controller !!.. and I am not kidding, I feel paranoid, depressed, lonely and totally lost. I have talked to family and they seem to think I am a little controlling .. Apparently, what I see as 'trying to help someone' is considered to be 'controlling' .. so now I am totally screwed up and I don't know how to be anymore, what I thought was a good, helpful side to my personality is turning out to be quite the opposite ... anyone got any input.. ?

To be honest, My partner and I have just broken up, I did the breaking up in the middle of a heated argument.. I am about to seek Pysch help because I dont know if I am being controlled or if I am the controller !!.. and I am not kidding, I feel paranoid, depressed, lonely and totally lost. I have talked to family and they seem to think I am a little controlling .. Apparently, what I see as 'trying to help someone' is considered to be 'controlling' .. so now I am totally screwed up and I don't know how to be anymore, what I thought was a good, helpful side to my personality is turning out to be quite the opposite ... anyone got any input.. ?

Controlling behaviour is not always clean cut or easy to spot. It can be as simple as when you partner says its your turn to choose where you eat for dinner and when you choose they say something like 'Ive heard thats rubbish'. When you are then unable to think of another resturant he berates you for being indescisive. If he calls you a bitch or a slag and then when you challenge him says things like 'I was joking can't you take a joke'. If he makes plans with you then cancels them using excuses which dont add up or claiming to have forgotten. If he says things like 'you mix in too many social circles' in an attempt to ensure that you have less options. If you constantly leave an arguement feeling like you have lost or you should try harder and everything is actually your fault. If he is moody when he doesnt get his own way and when you ask him whats up he says he has no idea what you are talking about. If he says things like 'if I really got angry and lost it you probably wouldnt want to know me' If he gives and withdraws affection as it suits him. If he refuses to confide or tell you anything about his past. If you feel afraid to challenge them because of your uncertain of how they react. If he says things like 'I have apologised for the things I did wrong' but you have no recollection of it. If he is sweet and charming one day and abrasive and unavailable the next. Feeding the cycle of control as you are hooked on the charming boy from yesterday and confused by the brashness he displays today. All these examples are the beginning of controlling behaviours they may seem small and unimportant, but over time they can begin to erode your self confidence and you may feel that you are going insane or have lost confidence in your own 'gut instinct'. I hope this helps I doubt your the controlling one but get some counselling even if it's just to reassure yourself of this. Controlling men dont usually go for weak minded women they choose strong minded independant ones as it gives them more feeling of control to break them down. Just because you may be opnionated and know what you want it does not make you controlling.

I was not aware that i was in a controlling relationship till my ex-boyfriend had left me. So when I was searching articles about post breakup i got to know that I was in a controlling relation. The warning sigs are as follows: 1)Always keeps an eye on you.My boy friend used to sit behind me at my workplace. And always notices with whom I was chatting. And always asks who called me and who am I calling and what is the reason.He always wants me to tell him when I would leave and and also to intimate him once I reach home. If I need to go any shop I have to inform him.Else he gets so mad.But reason he says is that he wanted me to be safe. 2)Calls you names.If I do not agree with him he uses words in tamil. And he says that it was not so hurting and that I was over sensitive. 3)Be prepared for lots of questions in case any trivial disagreements. 4)Lots of jealousy. I was not allowed to my masters as he was only an UG. 5)Controls what you should buy, what dress you can wear etc...He went mad by hearing that I was going to buy a laptop.As I was so afraid I did not buy a laptop or digital camera or new mobile till the realtionship ended. 6)Does not believe you. He did not allow me to do even threading or get my hair cut.I feel that only reason could be that he does not want me to look good. And though I opposed him for all these activities, unfortunately I was also a victim that when he left me I felt dying.So please before you get so involved avoid controlling relationship for your own good.

I have to write it on here because am so confused about it all. Always thought my husband was really into me but now realise finnaly that he is in control of our marriage and i am not happy. 2 days ago we had a big argument about money, I have no access to his bank account, i see no statements and I never see a wage slip! all his personal mail is sent to another address either his fathers or ex wifes! i had drunk too much and was able to bring up the subject after i woke him up. I bought my own birthday present last week and paid for my birthday meal so thats why i felt I wanted to say. anyway one thing led to another and he told me to leave and to leave the children with him, he stood at door way and would not let me come in...yeah right I tell you now I fought my way back in that house! ended up being assaulted and i called the police so now hes on bail to be reveiwed by CPS and you know what! I blame myself and dropped the charges!! what a silly cow I am. please feel free to tell me that too