ANSWERS: 25
  • I would have to tell her that in one month, if she was not working and paying me rent, she will have to move. Get it in writing and if she doesn't move then get the law into it. Its called tough love
  • If she is physically and mentally capable of working, then it isn't unreasonable to require her to have some kind of a job as a condition for living with you. If she chooses not to, then let her know she needs to find a new place to live...
  • Invite her friends over! I'm in my 20s and every so often if rent shoots up I have to move in with my parents for short periods. I like my parents, and they like my friends, and they're not embarrassing parents or anything, but I HATE when I have to have friends over to my parents' place. It hurts my pride a little. :)
  • You are being an enabler but not making her join the real world. You won't always be around and I am sure you would like to see her be independent so you won't have to worry about her. She might met a guy who she really doesn't love and move in or marry because she doesn't know how to be independent. You are a good mom but you need to put any guilt aside when you show her the door. Give her a certain amount of time to find a job and an apt. and then the ball is in her court. Don't back down or you are right back at being an enabler and that isn't helping her at all. I had to do that with my oldest....no one is saying it is easy but it is the right thing to do for her and you. Good Luck and stay strong!
  • I would never have a child that does this because my 37 year old brother is doing it to my parents. I decided a long time ago I did not want to risk having one like him.
  • You have to put your foot down. If she's 31 that's pretty bad! You should give her a month, maybe 2, to get a job and start paying rent before you legally EVICT her. I don't think she'll chose homelessness over work.
  • Her name isn't on the deed? Have the Sheriff escort her and her belongings to the sidewalk in front of your home and change the locks.
  • I would insist she found somewhere else. By allowing her to stay in your home you are encouraging her not to work. My friend is doing this with her daughter, she is mearly 19 has done her first term at University never went back and will not work, just collects off the state. She is giving up her future to sit about all day with a group of useless so called friends who will never amount to anything.
  • you sound as if you are enabling her...tell her to get out..and mean it.
  • This is a... What would I do question, right? I would have been fed up right after college. The next time she had plans to go somewhere, I would tell her to make sure she takes what she needs because the door will be locked behind her. I also believe I would be eating out a whole lot and making sure only the necessities are in the house. I think I could make it easy for her to want to leave. This is called tough love, It is hard to do but it is necessary for her to learn to live on her own.
  • I would give her a reasonable amount of time to get a job and sign an agreement to pay a certain amount of rent and for it to begin on a certain day. If she did not abide by the contract, I would evict her. It's about time she learned how the REAL world works.
  • I would sit her down and explain seriously to her how not taking responsibilty for her life is not accepatable and that I don't feel I should have to put up with it. I would encourage her to try and find work, by finding out her interests and what she really wanted to do. I would also insist she does more work around the house, since she is not working, in order to contribute to things. I really wouldn't mind if my daughter wanted to stay with me into her 30s, they would be welcome to stay anytime with me. It is only fair to charge a reasonale amount of money, whether she is working or not, she would still have some income and it would only be fair that she pays her way. I would set a deadline for her to change her ways and insist she looks for her own place, if she is not willing to respect me or my views and I would stick to it. It is difficult to throw your own child out, but if they do not respect you, then they must learn about life somehow.
  • pack her bags ... at 31 its no use talking she is old enough to know what she is doing ... about time to get of her lazy ass and get on with her life and stop sponging of you ...she knows she's a user and so do you
  • I'm surprised you waited this long. There is a Biblical piece of advice that says "Whoever doesn't want to work shouldn't be allowed to eat." (2 Thessalonians 3:10)Cut off the food supply, then, if that does not encourage her to get a job, more than gently encourage her to leave....you have to be tough. She has got away with too much for too long.
  • I guess I would do her a favor and throw her out. I am touchy that way
  • Take away her luxuries, no access to telephone, no access to TV etc., or car. Just allow her to have basic food and toiletries only, she'll soon get off her butt and get a job, you have got to be cruel to be kind, and also anything that has been bought for her, if she isn't going to act like a respectable adult, treat her like a child.
  • I would think she might be unbalanced or have a disorder like Adult ADD or agoraphobia. I would help her get the help she needs while at the same time help her to live on her own.
  • Take her on one of those TV "reality problem" shows.
  • That doesn't seem "normal" to me...I'd take her to a doctor or psychologist to find out what is really going on inside her head. Does she have friends? Whom does she admire? She may be deep in the clutches of depression and in need of professional help.
  • Since there's already a wealth of good advice here I don't think I'll do any harm by answering with something that's completely asinine: move out of your house to leave her there by herself and see how she likes running a household with no money. :P
  • I work with a guy who is 36 (I think). He still lives with his parents but at least he works (except snow days) He's a good guy but he seems like he never really grew up in many ways. His mom does his laundry and everything. My view of this is that as long as the parents are OK with it there's no problem. However if the kid (yeah, right) isn't welcome maybe they need to be tossed out. My mother raised four kids alone and it must have been pretty challenging so I feel that she should enjoy herself now. Therefore I make it a point to taake care of my own and not present my problems to her. Let her relax. She deserves it. It sounds like the parents in this case have allowed it to happen - even empowered the kid.
  • Kick her out. Tell her it's time to go. Give her 6 months to find a job and save money and get a place. Make it a contractual agreement. Sometimes you just have to push the bird out of the nest. I would never have considered living with my parents past 18, not in school, and not pay rent. Too many people also attribute lazy and spoiled to depression. I'm not saying she is one over the other, but chances are that she just is too comfortable where she is. I'm just 34 so this is my generation and I know of too many people my age the same way.
  • Move her out today. Call the law if necessary. Change the locks and if she attempts to get in have her arrested.
  • kick her out and change the locks on the door dont even talk to her and till she gets a job
  • Depends. If all else failed? Sell the house and 'disappear'.

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