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by Anonymous on January 5th, 2006

Anonymous

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I am in a long-term relationship and have been seeing someone else who is also in a long-term relationship. We love our partners but can't seem to stay away from each other. Should we continue our relationship or end it?

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Answers. 13 helpful answers below.

  • by kenya2006 on February 27th, 2006

    kenya2006

    If you feel the need to see someone else outside your long-term relationship then I think it's an indication that there's something not right there.
    What you should consider is whether or not you should end the long term relationship you're currently in. Whether it's serious with this new person or not; the mere fact that 'you can't stay away from them' could indicate that you're running away from something else i.e. your current partner. This is a sign to you that there is something not right in your relationship, and it would probably be kinder to come clean or finish with your long term partner rather than cheat on them because that shows a complete lack of respect. Can you really be in love with someone that you don't respect? Think about it...
    And remember, what goes around comes around too. If your new interest is doing it with you, he can also do it to you. He knows your morals now remember, so if he cheats on you in the future, you'd hardly have much of a leg to stand on. Sorry to say this but you reap what you sow...

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  • by Daniel on November 27th, 2009

    Daniel

    You're going to get lots of angry, judgemental responses to this question - especially from people whose marriages were ruined by an affair. That is something to consider: it is ENORMOUSLY painful to have a long-term relationship end because of cheating, and it is a pain that never quite goes away. Having said that, you have already started another relationship. That does NOT bode well for your long-term relationship, and indicates a fundamental flaw. People in happy relationships don't cheat. They simply don't want to. In the long run it's probably a better idea to bite the bullet, be honest and break off the long-term relationship. The longer this drags on the more the hurt it is going to cause, and ultimately it's not a good idea to stay with someone because you are sorry for him or her.

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  • by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on November 24th, 2009

    Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot

    What do you think you are doing actually? You are lying to your lovers and cheating. Pardon the french, but shit or get off the pot.

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  • by Dragonair08 on July 27th, 2008

    Dragonair08

    if your seeing someone else then clearly you dont love your real partner. neother does the other person it is possibly to be in a relationship with one person and have everything the connection the love the sex the trust everything.
    if you truly love your real partner, leave your lover.
    if you dont youll break more than one heart.

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  • by Not so Loony gone Ape on November 27th, 2009

    Not so Loony gone Ape

    You are crazy if you don't see that this is a catastrophe and it is going to end in tears!
    ...
    Either your partner will find out or the partner of the one you are cheating with will find out.... and then the shit will hit the fan!

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  • by Chigg on November 27th, 2009

    Chigg

    If you are not going to leave your bit on the side, then eventually your long-term partner will find out.

    You pour more pain on them for every single day you kept them living a lie, with someone they didnt really know at all, aging and settling into 'forever' with you when all the time you knew it wasn't like that; abusing, as the movies like to put it, 'the best years of their lives'.

    If you love anyone in this mess then you owe it to them to be honest, to give them back a little shred of respect and dignity, and tell them the truth so they can make informed choices.

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  • by eveadrian on November 27th, 2009

    eveadrian

    Ending it or not isn't something I would tell anybody. I personally try not to decieve or hurt the people that I say I love. I feel that many of us love or respect the person that we are with enough to end things first before seeking out another partner or soon as possbile to keep the hurt to a minimum. Most people don't want us if we really don't want them and especially when or if we want someone else.

    I know that life happens and we meet people, however I personally make a decesion. No matter how emotional my decesion may be, I make one. Being deceptive is just not my thing because it speaks volumes about what type of person I truly am If I am deceptive. I feel great in knowing our relationship is just that...OURS. I made the decesion to be with this person long-term for whatever reasons.

    Even though it is possible for you to be with the other person without your partner knowing, why?

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  • by SoulFire on November 25th, 2009

    SoulFire

    If you truly loved your partner you would not hurt them by having an affair.

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  • by sapphire on November 24th, 2009

    sapphire

    If you really love your partner, end it with the other person, and work on your relationship. Love lasts alot longer than lust, the novelty wears off eventually, then you have nothing except maybe a guilty heart, a broken home, a bad rep and probably no boyfriend because he went back to his wife!

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  • by Anonymous on November 25th, 2009

    Anonymous

    You really should end it with the other person if you truly love your partner.
    +5

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  • by MargaretMcGhee on November 27th, 2009

    MargaretMcGhee

    I was the other woman and don't regret a moment of it. The wife was not a warm woman but after her husband was with me she suddenly found how nice and warm she could be. Many people won't understand this, but I think I performed a service for his (and her) family. They got back together and suddenly she acted as though she loved him. All that had to happen was that she lost her husband...Then she woke up...and found him...Thank me!

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  • by Scottishfella on November 27th, 2009

    Scottishfella

    Look, you are deluding yourselves. Someone is going to get hurt, likely all of you. End it, if you find you cant saty away, at least have the decency to leave your partner(s), then hook up, but I doubt this is the answer either.
    Secret love is exciting, but ultimately destructive.

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  • by quinlan.sean on December 30th, 2010

    quinlan.sean

    Figure yourself out. You aren't being fulfilled. Find out what this new partner gives you, if its somethign you need. If you've simply out grown your old partner. Or its just a fling.

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