An 11 year old boy wants to play everyday with my 7 year old son and his 6 year old friend. I don't feel it's appropriate for my son to be spending that much time with someone that much older than himself. How do I handle this?
by 
Nipper
ANSWERS: 11
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It's not that big of a deal if you ask me. When I was younger my siblings and I hung out with people 3-5 years younger than us sometimes.
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He might not have any one else to play with...I think it will be ok......just sort of listen in while they are playing to be sure all is right:)
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Trust your instincts. But remember that kids can get along o.k. with kids of different ages.
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I personally would not allow it. My life experience has been different from some others on here. Right now alot of older kids are the actual ones in schools molesting theyounger kids. In fact my older brother was molested by another kid just a few years older than him and so was my husband. I would just tell him your son isn't allowed to play with kids that aren't his age that you don't know that well. Remember while it may hurt his feelings it is better to be safe than sorry. At least you know you did the best thing for you and your son. I have had to do ALOT of this with my kids.
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Just because the boy is older does not mean he is out to hurt your son has the boy ever given you reason what so ever that made you not trust him if so by all means tell him to stay away and don't come back does your kids go somewhere other than your home to play with him if so maybe you need to stop letting that happen and only allow them to play at home If your kids like to play with him then let them. Because other wise you are teaching your children that they can only play with certain types of people and yes I have 3 kids they are all grown now and they have children all together I have 9 grandchildren 6 boys and 3 girls they range from 11 to 3 and I have never had anything happen to them because they played with kids older than them
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PLEASE listen to your instincts.....you cannot afford to take any chances with the damaged lives that may be caused to your son and his friend if they are molested. At 11, that kid's interest in 'little kids' is very suspect. I hate to be dogmatic about things I have so little information of, but please be very very careful - those boys are depending on you to protect them in a very real sense from the potential dangers children face in this fallen world. At the very least, I would plead with you to never let them play together out of your sight. I really hope I am over-reacting, but it really is a potentially life-damaging situation your son and his friend might be in.
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I would say it may be okay if they are with you at your house. You can keep an eye on them that way. Sometimes the situation is more of not as many 11 yr olds in the neighborhood, etc. It is definitely better to err on the side of caution though and wouldn't let them wander off unsupervised. Another way to help the situation is to talk to the 11 yr old childs mother and get a sense of what type of household they live in. We still practice this with our teens, and our kids do not spend time and especially overnights at houses where we do not know the parents and their living environment. the world is too crazy now to not be protective.
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It used to be that a whole village of children would play together. But these days children should not be together, because there are so many ways they can get hurt. Something might happen and you would regret it for a long time. Especially at 7 years old, he should only be playing with you, or with his toys.
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It is possible that the boy is socially immature and fits in better with your son and friend. As long as he is playing appropriately, I see nothing wrong with it. If you are getting bad vibes from him, though, simply tell him that you feel he needs to spend more time with children his own age. Let it be your fault that he can't play, not your son's. That was negative repercussions won't be taken out on your son. At our house the rule was no one came over until we had met their parents, and no one went to the house of parents we hadn't met, even if that meant we had to walk down the block to talk to them and meet them. If it was for a party, we would go with the child and stay for a while. Meeting the parents will often give you an idea what direction a relationship may take.
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dont take that advice, ull just make him anti-social. I do suggest questioning the 11 yr olds motives however. I mean it can go both ways, wen i was 12 i hung out wit a 9 year old a lot. That dosnt mean i was lookin to do anything bad, he was just mature and cool to hang wit.
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well put it this way, different people have different feelings, if he wants to he can, but they think about your 7 year old, he want to play with the 11 year old so if hes happy shouldnt you be too?
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