Unfortunately, it's a strange language, with many dialects... often what translates as one phrase in one dialect turns out to mean the exact opposite in another! I'm afraid I cannot help you.

I do, and the classes never stop.

1) I suppose you are refering to the language of women, as discussed in these forums: "Can anybody teach me femalian? The language of women? Sure, I'll teach ya. ;) That language we are hopelessly unable to understand. It might as well be Chinese ;) I would say: start with yes and no. If I succeed to learn that, we can continue ;) . Sure! May I recommend a good book for that: Lifetime Plan for Success by Dale Carnegie. You should be able to learn a lot more than just femalian in that book.;)" Source: http://forums.civfanatics.com/archive/index.php/t-69646.html "Do females speak a language all their own?? :confused: Femalian?? hahahaha, no but when somethings sounds a bit to technical most of them won't use it (I'm not speaking about every woman, by the way! So, don't start to shoot at me :) ) What language? :) The only time women tell you *exactly* what they're thinking is when they're mad at you. Just get a woman mad and she'll tell you *exactly* what she's thinking. :) Otherwise, she won't tell you anything. It's all about reading our minds.... :)" Source: http://forums.sagetv.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-6297.html 2) I think an interesting help would come from this book: "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (published in May 1992) is a book by John Gray offering many suggestions for improving husband-wife relationships by understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite sex. The book, as suggested by the title, asserts the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planets. Gray adopts this metaphor as the central theme of all his books and seminars, likening men and women to the classical Roman god Mars and goddess Venus as ideal types. In contrast to some psychologists (and feminists) who emphasize similarities between the sexes, Gray writes almost exclusively about differences. Gray says that his "Martians" and "Venusians" are only stereotypes and cannot be applied blindly to individuals. An example of the theories it offers is that women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions. Other concepts in the book are the difference between women and men's point systems and how they react under stress." Source and further information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Are_from_Mars%2C_Women_Are_from_Venus

Sure I'm an expert in Femalian. Would you like me to translate something for you?

No.. girlfriend ;)