The Best Answer Is To Tell The Person You Wish Him or Her to Stop Telling Such Jokes Around You and That You Are Offened. Plus, it Does Not Matter What Atmosphere It Is In.

My favorite response is "Whoa! Not even funny. My mother was [group offensive joke was aimed at]. She died two years ago. I still cry about it at night..." And run off. Throw in some heart-wrenching sobs for additional effect.

The best course of action would be to politely interrupt and request that the joke not be told, without displaying any overt criticism. For example, 'Excuse me, but if this is the joke that I think it is, perhaps it is a little coarse/rude/raunchy (or whatever adjective suits the joke) for a gathering such as this. Some folks might be offended and it would be a shame to spoil the great atmosphere that we are enjoying.' You have made your point, without pointing any fingers at the person telling the joke; you have effectively voiced your opinion and indirectly blamed the joke itself, not the teller. Hopefully, the person attempting to tell the joke will take the hint and everyone will appreciate the fact that you did it all politely yourself. -- Great White: of course, the person should be made aware that the joke is not appropriate. However, the question was in the context of a social gathering and how to handle the situation politely; it is not polite to point out someone's bad manners in front of others. If you want to make the person aware of your own feelings about the offensiveness of the joke, you can take him/her aside and voice your opinion directly. This question is in the 'Etiquette' section. If it appeared in 'Ethics' or some other section, I would have answered in that context.

I have a grandfather that continues to do this even though I and others have tried the polite way and I have a person of the race he is racistly (I know the word is not found in Microsoft word spell checker) joking about in my family, to be more honest and a little more holding him accountable is the only way to gradually force him to stop. In front of the people he has the nerve to continue to insult my other family member's race (not one treated well in this country, to begin with), is the only way we have left to get through his learned cultural (20s-60s) defenses. So, some of you can pick at my use of the English language in a informal setting and post about politeness all you want, but from my many experiences (not just as personal as my grandfather) any thing else fails.

"I have a grandfather that continues to do this even though I and others have tried the polite way and I have a person of the race he is racistly (I know the word is not found in Microsoft word spell checker) joking about in my family, to be more honest and a little more holding him accountable is the only way to gradually force him to stop. In front of the people he has the nerve to continue to insult my other family member's race (not one treated well in this country, to begin with), is the only way we have left to get through his learned cultural (20s-60s) defenses. So, some of you can pick at my use of the English language in a informal setting and post about politeness all you want, but from my many experiences (not just as personal as my grandfather) any thing else fails." Grandma Roses, It does address 'social gathering,' it just does not come in the ineffective and fluff you think works, in more than a few cases. Remember, it those "social gatherings" there are in almost all cases people that are either being directly insulted or those that do not want to be apart of insulting those others and those racises. I am advising people to do is make a point (a ethical/practicer of beliefs one) to tell that person that his or her comments are unacceptable and way that it or them are the wrong comments.

This is a loaded question with a lot of unknown factors. How well do you know the person who is getting ready to tell an offensive joke? Do you know for certain that his/her "audience" will, in fact, find the joke offensive? The bottom line is, you are not responsible for the foolish actions of others. There really isn't any set standard of appropriate action to take in this situation. You could try: The Diversion: If it is someone you know well, you might interupt them (with an apology and sheepish look for doing so) and explain to the group that there is something you absolutely MUST show your friend before you forget and drag them off before they can get too far into said offensive joke. Explain gently to the person that, that probably isn't the best choice of jokes. Whatever they decide to do after that is up to them. Walk Away: If it somebody you don't know well, you can always excuse yourself and bail out before the awkward moment hits. The Reaction: Chances are, if the group finds the joke offensive there will be no laughing. Hopefully, that gets the point across and you have to do nothing. The reaction of the group says it all. I am certain there are several more ways to handle this situation, these are just a few ideas. Without more information, this is the best I can do. Hope it helps!

If you are in a small group, just walk away. What is offensive to one person might not be to others. I agree that this is a loaded question with many variables, but if you find something offensive, just excuse yourself and move on. Of course, definitely offer an explanation of your actions if asked.

It might depend on the nature of the social gathering, and how the joke teller is related to you (stranger, friend, relative, boss) but personally I find that stony silence isn't reaction enough. People tend to assume that everyone else thinks the way they do until they're told otherwise. If someone tells me a racist joke, it's because they think I'll appreciate it. That's an assumption I'll want to disprove. However, making a big scene about it is neither necessary nor desirable. I find that an abrupt "dude, that's not cool" will suffice. You're not doing it to change that person's mind. You're doing it to let everyone else know that you are not cool with that sexist/racist/homophobic attitude.

I wanted to understand this 'polite' looking answer, but got lost in all the ( in brackets ) stuff.I've come away not knowing if your Grandfather got the maessage and stopped his racist comments or if he still continues.