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by snakelover on August 14th, 2007

snakelover

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OK Major problem. My 16 y/o niece is pregnant & her parents & the father want her to abort. She said no so he dumped her. She is getting pressured to abort, but I told her that I would help her if she decided she wants it. Am I doing the right thing?

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  • by Newly Anonymous on August 14th, 2007

    Newly Anonymous

    You are doing the right thing by letting her know she can keep her options open and supporting her in whatever decision she makes. I'm 16 yr old and even though getting pregnant right now would not be at the best of times, I think I would ultimately decide to keep it.

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  • by Penny The Wise on August 14th, 2007

    Penny The Wise

    People should have options. She has options and I'm glad that she has people to go to for support, whatever she may choose. No one should be forcing her into anything, but the offer is a good one. Just tell her, and let her pick.

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  • by Da Azian Boi on August 14th, 2007

    Da Azian Boi

    I think you are doing the right thing, but don't actually decide for her. She needs to make the decision whether to abort, adopt, or parent the child. Help her look at the options, but in no circumstance decide for her.

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  • by Mentalmum is back on August 14th, 2007

    Mentalmum is back

    Thank goodness she has someone like you to help her is all i can say... she should NOT be forced to abort,it has to be her decision, as long as she knows bringing up a child wont be easy its up to her. She will need all the help she can get, and a lot worse things can happen in life than a new baby coming into the world. Shame on her parents for even suggesting it.
    Im assuming she is mature enough to cope. If the babys father dumped her then she is better off without him, after all it takes 2 to tango!
    Good for you snakelover, im soooo proud of you!
    Good luck and let us know how things go. x

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  • by kat tarrin-AYPWIP on August 14th, 2007

    kat tarrin-AYPWIP

    yes, yes yes. if she doesnt want to abort the she shouldnt have to you are doing the rite thing by telling her that you will help her. cuz if she does deside to keep the chld she will need alot of help.

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  • by weezypops on August 14th, 2007

    weezypops

    I think you are doing the right thing in helping her. It might be a good idea to try and help her rebuild her relationship with her parents too though as they may come to resent your involvement.

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  • by Mini_kilt on August 14th, 2007

    Mini_kilt

    It is not the right thing to offer help in one situation. You should let her know she has 3 options

    1. Abortion
    2. Adoption
    3. Parenting

    and tell her no matter what she chooses you will help her, and that the choice is hers.

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  • by kourageous kitty on May 30th, 2008

    kourageous kitty

    yes you are doing the right thing. noone should be forced into a decision like that. it has to be your nieces choice. she is the one who has to live with the concequences of what ever decision she makes.

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  • by Namaste formerly future_health_educator on August 15th, 2007

    Namaste formerly future_health_educator

    I don't think she should be forced to abort but if you are going to get involved realize that you may be involved for a very long time. Are you prepared to help her raise this child? Because it doesn't seem like anyone else is going to.

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  • by Jaded on May 29th, 2008

    Jaded

    You are absolutely doing the right thing. Nobody should be pressured to abort (or keep, for that matter) a child they want. While I can think of many, many reasons not to have a child at that age, the fact is that she's pregnant and wants the child - helping her is the proper thing to do.

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  • by Please dont hurt me anymore on September 12th, 2008

    Please dont hurt me anymore

    Yeah Your doing the right thing I would give anything to have an aunt like you shes a verry lucky girl

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  • by Tenaciouscj on May 30th, 2008

    Tenaciouscj

    Yes, she needs to be able to turn to a trusted person for help. I know she is young, but other 16 year olds have gone on to be good mothers. I would also suggest that if you can help her find good precautions to take so she doesn't fall pregnant again in any hurry, it would be a good idea.

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  • by here on May 29th, 2008

    here

    You are doing the right thing.

    Whether you believe that she should abort or not, she needs a person that she can go to who lets her have her own beliefs. She will probably always be against having an abortion, no matter what people say to her. She needs someone to tell her that her beliefs matter.

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  • by DA BEN DAN yanggui zi on May 29th, 2008

    DA BEN DAN yanggui zi

    while I don't think she should keep the child..it really is none of my business...It is totally the woman's choice in this (and at 16 if she is pregnant then I would dare say that she is a woman)...I think you are doing the right thing.

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  • by Freaky Yo on May 29th, 2008

    Freaky Yo

    if she wants to keep it and can take care of it responsibly then your doing the right thing.

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  • by Acer on August 4th, 2009

    Acer

    Yes you are doing the right thing in offering to help, ultimately it is her decision on whether or not to keep the baby, terminate the pregnancy, or look into adoption. I think she needs to be educated in all of these options so that she can make the best decision for her and she needs someone there to help and listen without pressuring her to do one thing or another.

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  • by Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot on August 4th, 2009

    Sharona Life is a Tale Told by an Idiot

    Yes, you are. Her parents want what's best, I'm sure, but giving her an avenue of choice will help her decide what is best far better than that type of pressure. I hope you are aware that your offer is a lifetime one, but you are the greatest in my book.

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  • by 321_fallen on October 28th, 2008

    321_fallen

    Well im 18, and was forced to have an abortion my parents, I had no-one to turn to. I would have loved to have someone like you, as now i regret my termination like hell.

    So thank you for offering her help =] Id hate for what happened to me, to anyone else.

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  • by insaner on September 21st, 2008

    insaner

    of course you are doing the right thing! i dont understand why people are so willing to kill a baby before even offering moral support.. thankyou for being there for your niece, and thankyou to your niece for taking up the responsibility to take care of the new life she had a part in creating. she has courage abound, and has shown more maturity than even her own parents, and has a great aunt to boot!!

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  • by diana on September 20th, 2008

    diana

    Offering to help is very kind, just stand by your word!

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  • by medicgirl on September 12th, 2008

    medicgirl

    yes, she would regret an abortion if it was something she felt pressured into. if she knows she has options she'll make the choice she wants not the one her parents want

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  • by Cranberry_Cutie on September 12th, 2008

    Cranberry_Cutie

    My suggestion would be for the two of you to seek joint counseling. This way you will both be able to talk out your feelings and to explore all your options. I think it is a good thing that this young woman has you in her life ... she is going to need a lot of support no matter which choice she makes. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

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  • by Prunesquallor on September 12th, 2008

    Prunesquallor

    Yes, I think you are. Although in your position I would make sure the girl really understood all the consequences of having the baby.

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  • by biless on September 9th, 2008

    biless

    Tell her to keep the baby and ask her parents to allow her to move in with you.

    Yes,you are doing the right thing. Tell her you love her unconditionally and she should do the same for her baby.

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  • by azskies on May 29th, 2008

    azskies

    I think it's great that you are there for her. If you aren't considering adopting the baby, look for someone who would. There are many people out there who would help her with the pregnancy and then adopt the baby. I have friends who are wanting to do just that.

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  • by Krys on August 15th, 2007

    Krys

    I think it is admirable that you are there to give her the support to make the "choice" she has the right to make.

    I hope that you are ready to be emotionally supportive in other areas in the event she follows your advice and willing not to judge if she doesn't.

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  • by lizizhere on August 14th, 2007

    lizizhere

    Do you want to adopt & raise the baby? I think that would be great if she had someone to help her at 16 she's only 2 years away from being an adult & possibly being out on her own so I think its great she wants to have the baby. The father may change his mind once he see's the baby if she decides to have it. Most do, some don't though & she may be forced to raise it alone. Thats scarey for a 16 yr old but like Penny said its great she has you to let her know her options. I hope she realizes this guy is a jerk though & don't try to force him to accept the baby if he don't want it. I would hate to see her or the baby get hurt because he didn't want it in the first place. But she's old enough to be a responsible parent if she has someone loving & responsible like you to help her make the right decisions(sorry for the spelling error)

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  • by Zara98 on August 6th, 2009

    Zara98

    Yeah of corsre you are as it is family helping family and right now she will need support and all the love she can get right now and youll be the she will go to in the future

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  • by ANONYMOUS on August 4th, 2009

    ANONYMOUS

    YES!!! You are doing the right thing. She needs support now more than anything and not people who have their own agenda. I know this won't be popular, but I also think you should take her to a clinic where they support pro-life so she can be shown different options for giving birth to the baby. She doesn't have to keep it, millions are looking to adopt. It's also good for her to know exactly what goes on in an abortion and what to expect from it both during and afterwards. Abort73.com has some good resources. Most people don't realize how quickly a child develops and don't think about the fact that they are actually taking a little life. Later when they realize what they have done they suffer immense guilt and depression and sometimes physical complications. It's not the cure-all the pro-abortionists claim it is.

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  • by Anonymous on August 1st, 2009

    Anonymous

    You made a stand to save a life! congrads, theres nothing wrong with that. Make sure the kid knows knows how things went down when he's born though. he will need to know when he's older.

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  • by Cantras on June 19th, 2009

    Cantras

    I am pro-choice because i am pro *choice*, so I don't feel she should have it against her will.

    That said, if she's against abortion, I'd be pushing her toward adoption. Having a baby at 16 is ruining three lives -- hers, the baby's, and the father (because whether he is involved or not, he's still on the hook for child support for a child he doesn't even want).

    I wish, mixed in with sex ed, there was "oops" ed: encourage people to, before they have sex, talk with their partner about what happens with a pregnancy. Love had an ex girlfriend tell him she was pregnant as an april fool's joke. She thought it was funny, he was freaked -- and it's a major part of them breaking up. They did not have the same view on an accidental pregnancy. Love and I do.

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  • by D.J. on June 19th, 2009

    D.J.

    Supporting her in whichever decision she makes is the right thing to do, in my opinion.

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  • by Dibley on June 19th, 2009

    Dibley

    Of course, she needs to know someone will be there for her either way.

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  • by Factotum on June 15th, 2009

    Factotum

    People have already said what I believe. You are doing the right thing and a good thing. She needs to weigh her options (as opposed to counting up votes) and you have given her some.

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  • by Anonymous on June 14th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Yes, you are doing the right thing in that you are standing by her and by her decision. As why do people want to abort? That I'll never understand, I know that is one thing I could never do, but if the childs or the mothers life is in danger that I can understand where aborting comes to mind or a rape victim who became pregnant with their rapist's baby I understand as to why maybe in that situation. And it's difficult and a hard decision to deal with either keep or abort the baby, I think if she feels confident enough that she is willing to provide and take care of her unborn child I say kuddos to her and wish her and her baby to be all the best..

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  • by angelmommy on October 27th, 2008

    angelmommy

    Yes you are.

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  • by john pennington on September 9th, 2008

    john pennington

    She is 16 and not your child.

    You should have no opinion whatsoever.

    This is an immediate family decision, only between the parents and daughter.

    I understand where you are coming from, but in the long run, your brother does not appreciate your interference.

    Been there, done that.

    Leave it alone.

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  • by Scifisuz on August 14th, 2007

    Scifisuz

    It's good that you are there for her to support her. She IS 16 and her parents (your sister? brother? in law?) are gonna be involved regardless.
    Unless you plan to adopt your niece and/or her child for the next 18 yrs, I'd try not to get in the middle or in an adversarial position....

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  • by john pennington on August 14th, 2009

    john pennington

    Yes. just make sure she is mature enough to care for the baby and has the means to support it.

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  • by crazystudent on August 14th, 2009

    crazystudent

    Hi, Just wondering how did it all work out? I think you were right to give her the option to do what she wanted to. If she did abort at least it was her own decision and not something that was forced upon her.

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  • by 23Skidoo on August 14th, 2009

    23Skidoo

    Only if you are sure you can take care of the baby in need be.

    Your niece should continue with school.

    And you need to find out if she's saying no to an abortion for genuine reasons ans she really knows this is a life changing decision - or is she doing it to piss off her parents.

    +5

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You're reading OK Major problem. My 16 y/o niece is pregnant & her parents & the father want her to abort. She said no so he dumped her. She is getting pressured to abort, but I told her that I would help her if she decided she wants it. Am I doing the right thing?

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