My boyfriend &I have been dating for 7 months now. But my mom doesn't agree with interracial dating. We haven't told her yet &I always have to lie about where I am. I think it's starting to make me feel guilty/depressed. What should I do?
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 19
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if you are happy then if i were you i would just explain to her that i was happy and you are going to continue your relationship regardless of what she thinks. i know its hard standing upto your parents but eventually she will except your choice when she sees how happy you are :0)
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Spare him the grief of your family.
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You're going to have to tell her eventually, so why not make it now. The sooner you tell her, the sooner you'll stop feeling guilty and depressed. If you've been dating for 7 months your mother's going to have to get used to the idea. You never know, when she meets your boyfriend she may realise she's wrong in her disagreement with interracial dating.
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I agree with Brian I.I think you won't regret if you tell your mother.I believe that if she doesn't agree with interracial dating it's because she thinks it won't make you happy.If she sees that it makes you happy she most probably will agree.
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I'm getting tired to the white families being opposed to interracial relationships. It makes me sick.
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I agree with Brian, you have to tell them eventually so go for it
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Try talking to her, If your both happy nothing else should matter..doesn't matter who/what he looks like, its the person you have fallen for,maybe she'll come around. good luck x
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If you care about this person, it is unfair to keep him "hidden". He probably feels as though you are not proud to be with him. I understand facing prejudice family members. I am a Caucasian female dating blk males. Stand your ground with your family. This is the person I chose to be with...period. He deserves the respect of being treated the same as any boyfriend.
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If you care enough about this man then it shouldest matter what you mom thinks!!! and If you mom was thinking about you and what makes you happy then it shouldest matter who you are dating as long as they treat you right!!! I don't like it when people think of them selves instead of their children!!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY IF YOU B/F MAKES YOU HAPPY THEN YOU LET IT BE KNOWN NO MATTER WHAT ANY ONE THINKS!!!!
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TRUST me.... From my own very personal experience with this same issue. Lying to your mom (who doesn't agree with it) will just make her MORE pissed when she finds out, and believe me, she will.... After she finds out you've been lying to her the whole time, do you really think there's ANY more of a chance for her to warm up to this guy? She'll resent him for even allowing you to lie to her. What good is a man if he can't stand up for what he believes in ya know? Plus, your conscious is telling you something don't you think? One thing I've learned in life.... If I have to lie about something, it's probably not worth doing in the first place.
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I think that it may be time to break the news to your mother that you and your bf are together. . . Even if she doesnt like it, i think that she would rather know about it than you doing that in secret. Im part japanese and a few other things in between but my bf is swiss, and my mother had a fit over that. now shes calmed down (haha its been almost 2 years) so. . . yeah, best of luck!! plus, its your life. your love, and your heart. dont even compensate!
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interracial dating leads to mix breeding... you know that you get from mixbreeding? hale berry, dwayne (the rock) johnson, vin diesel, jessica alba. such horribly disfiguring mutations come from mixbreeding how could anyone do that to their own children.
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Your mom shouldnt dictate your relationship, youre in charge of your life. Not her. While its nice of to care, she needs to know where to draw the line (and disapproving of a relaitnship becuase of race is definately crossing it). If you two trully love eachother and its a healthy realitonship, she shouldnt see a problem with it. You'll need to calmly sit down and talk to her. Ask her why she feels this way, explain to her that while you care about her opinon, you cant help who you like. You may need to understand that your mothers views are outdated and unfair, try to get her talking to your S/O, maybe her mind wil change. If it doesnt, oh well...but things may only get worse (and you may need to choose between the two: mother who hates IR dating, S/O I love). And also, if oyu need further proof that interracial relationships arent that bad, yu could probably hint that most of us wouldnt be here if it werent for them (I know I wouldnt), theres no statistic on this, but it seems pretty common sense. Hope everything goes well.
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i'll tell her that it's normal for making a interracial dating. i know a interracial dating site, http://www.blackwhiteconnect.com, ppl there treat others well and seems that thay have the same skin. so i don't think there r some problems with interracial dating.
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Racist's opinions generally do not change. It is deep seated with no foundation. Mom I love you, but this is it for me. Introduce him...and I doubt that she will say something nasty in his face. Live your life, and be happy because if you continue to seek approval from someone who disapproves, you will continually be depressed.
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im on the opposite end my bf and i have been together 7 months and my whole family knows and has met him. however apparently im a secret from his mother and sister because im white. its driving me crazy because we also have an age difference and he brings that up too. its not like the age gap or color of my skin is ever going to change!! LOL i feel your pain! good luck!
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btw its a horrible feeling! i wish he would man up and just be proud enough of me to introduce me to his family! if i were you and you really loved this guy then sit your mom down and make it clear that the only person who is different is her! welcome to 2009 no matter what happens he makes you happy, thats whats important, not other peoples ideals.
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I would feel awful if I would force my son to lie to me because I would not accept his choice of women. You should not feel guilty, if you turn it around, she should feel guilty too because she makes you feel like she will not accept your boyfriend. I think you should tell her and ask her what makes her against racial dating. I could understand if she is afraid you meet for example a mexican guy and after that he takes you to mexico, away from her. I could understand she wants to hold you close and doesnt want to lose you, but she must understand that we live in a society of all kinds of people. It's kind of hard and irrational to want to keep people from eachother. That left alone, she should respect your choice and like all mothers do, let you go on that aspect. You are old enough to make your decisions and ofcourse you do not want to get into a fight over such a stupid thing, but she'll have to realise that she is making you very unhappy.
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Face the truth, better sooner than later.
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