My mother was disowned from her family but im looked down on to because im hers. Whats steps should i take to gain their respect again and show im not my mother?
by 
89bravo
ANSWERS: 12
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Your mother's family disowned her? What was she a mass murderer? Or did she fail to go to church one Sunday? I'm not sure that you should bother to "gain their respect." There are very few (if any) grounds for disowning a child. The fact that a family would do that makes me wonder about them--not the daughter who was disowned. That said, if they did have reasonable, rational grounds, you should just be the best person you can be. Like you would anyway.
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Respect is earned. Just be yourself. You shouldn't care about what people think; it's enough for you to know the person you are. Be respectful to all. If they care to know, they will.
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Why would you want anything to do with them? They've disowned you for absolutley no reason. They don't deserve to have you in their life if they can't see you for your own person. I say get on with your life and don't even give them the time of day, it's their loss, not yours!
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Respect is a two-way street. If they cannot see you as an individual person, with your own thoughts and need for family love, then it kind of sounds like a dumb fumble on their part. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to prove anything to anybody, especially people who are burdening you with your mother's consequences. It's a waste of time in my opinion.
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I have to ask why their approval is important to you? If they're going to judge you based on their perceptions of your mother, that says an awful lot about them. Just be who you are. If they don't like it, that's their problem.
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I wouldn't bother if I were you.
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I know exactly what your going through. My family has disowned me several times over except when they need something from me. My parents have already push me out of any wills and do not accept my wife or kids. My father says my brother in law is his son. I am like servent to them, they only want me when they have labor jobs to do. We don get invited to their cookouts or holiday gatherings. My wife is always being put down by my parents and my sister is just like them. I'm 58 years old and keep going back to them cause they are my parents, its like a disease. I hate to say this but a lot of weight will be off my shoulders when they pass on. I never see my sister at her request. Just hang in there!
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The very idea of disowning a child is so out of date, so pseudo-dramatic, and so attention getting that one can only wonder at the motives of the family. It's a shame that this child must suffer for the actions, not of his mother, but rather of her family.
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Why would you care about people who disowned your mother & innocent you. I'd forget about THEM.
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Why would you want the approval of people who was disapprove of you by association? I never could understand people who disowned their children.
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In your question you ask what steps you should take to gain their respect again, which suggests that you did once have their respect, if that is the case, what have you done to lose it? I think you probably never had their respect and who would want it? Any family that disowns a member of that family does not deserve respect, particularly if they also disown you by association. They are the losers. They have lost a daughter and grandchild.
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Just do the good stuff and let them hear it. Whether they accept it or not it's up to them. But at least you know that they know ..you know what I mean? ((hugs)
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