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by John Chantland on November 13th, 2005

John Chantland

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I care about my girlfriend and I am her first boyfriend. She is really close to some of my family members and sees them often. How can i break up with my girlfriend, and not feel awkward when we see each other?

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Answers. 5 helpful answers below.

  • by jenna_buwi on October 21st, 2008

    jenna_buwi

    ooooo thats a tough one!
    im really sorry about that.
    no matter how you do it, it will be awkward in some way shape or form
    :(
    you need to make it where she won't feel too bad. let her down easy
    "I hate to say this, but i think we need to go our own ways. Its not that we wont be friends. I just want the bf gf thing to stop but keep the friend thing going."
    word it how you would like

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  • by Persky Bunkermeister on November 16th, 2005

    Persky Bunkermeister

    The most important thing you can do is take full responsibility for wanting to break up, and not blame her for your feelings about moving on. Probably the best thing to say is that you are sorry that you are not ready for commitment or attachment, and you want more distance. To retain the respect of your family and girlfriend, you should probably go slow with this -- start with reducing the amount of time you spend alone together, and start treating her as a friend instead of a girlfriend. Consider the amount of time you've spent together, the fact that you want to remain on good terms, and figure it will take probably as long to unwind your relationship. It wouldn't hurt to have a private discussion with your most trusted family member about what you want to do.

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  • by buffalovirgo on September 27th, 2009

    buffalovirgo

    THere will be no simple solution to this. i would say be honest with her.

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  • by A on September 27th, 2009

    A

    No matter what, you're probably going to end up hurting her. Explain to her that you respect her enough to not want to lead her on and act like your relationship is going somewhere, because it clearly isn't. Tell her that you understand that she is close with your family members and you won't turn them against her or even try to because you respect her closeness with them. There's no reason to 'blame' her for any relationship problems. If it's not working, it's not working. If she needs closure, allow her to have it, or offer to give her some when she needs it. When it's over, though, it's over. Make sure she understands that. Whatever you do, be honest and upfront.

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  • by Brilliand on September 27th, 2009

    Brilliand

    I wonder if you could put it as though breaking up was the logical next step in your relationship? As in - "We go have dinner and a movie tonight, and that's our last date - then you do <some arranged event> with my sister"... and after a week or so, you're suggesting other boyfriends for her and talking about how you're going to start looking for a girlfriend (and if she asks if you're relationship is over, it ended last week - you're just friends now).

    I suppose it could make some people very mad at you, but there are also people who would take months to realize that you did anything strange.

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