One of my cousins died yesterday. We weren't close at all and I don't get along with my uncle, but I feel bad for the rest of his family. Should I attend his wake/funeral or should I just send flowers? (It's over 150 miles away from where I live.)
by 
Ed the Jetpacking Headbanger
ANSWERS: 6
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I think if you weren't close then it's perfectly acceptable to send flowers. A cousin isn't the same as a member of your immediate family, i don't think his/her family would expect you to be there. I am not close to my cousins and i wouldn't attend their funerals. But sending flowers is a nice gesture and a mark of respect and sympathy for the family.
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Do what you feel. If you weren't close to your cousin and feel like the estrangement between you and your uncle can not be resolved, send flowers. You could also send sympathy cards to other members of the family to let them know you care. Do what you think you won't regret later on in life.
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Ed, I have been in similar situations with family members, some even whom I was close to and I didn't attend. I sent flowers in one case and the other a Mass Card as they were Catholic. Phone calls and certainly an e-mail is in order at the very least. I find that some form of communication is necessary in these circumstances. Ultimately, the decision is yours and I am sure that you will definitely do what your heart leads you to do.
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A card with very appropriate words should suffice. Add some personal note of a positive type....such as "We were not close, and I regret that I didn't get to know him better"...or somesuch.
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I think if you really felt that there was someone there who needed your comfort, and you had nothing else planned, you could attend. However, like everone else is saying, there are times when you are prevented from going (either because you were not close or some other event) and then you send flowers and a sympathy card. At the very least, I am sorry for the loss as big or as small as it may be.
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Flowers, or a pretty ceramic statue so they can keep later. Also sympothy cards with your feelings & the loss you feel for them. I'm sure they will understand especially where u live so far away.
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