I want to ask my fiancee to sign a prenuptial agreement. How can I bring it up without offending her?
by 
Pastaman
ANSWERS: 22
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I only know this about premuptual agreements: When you bring it up, you must suggest she retain her own, seperate, legal representation. If the same attorney represents you both, it makes the agreement easier to contest in the event of divorce. Further, it's better if you both sign it six months before the wedding. That way neither of you can argue that you signed it "under duress". It's a good idea for a lady to sign a prenup. In the event of divorce, she will have more protection of her own assets than without it. Also, if the ex-husband should declare bankruptcy after the divorce, all the creditors will be telephoning her for payments. With a prenup, she can protect herself from those creditors. Maybe say something like, "If you sign it, you won't have to pay for my Jet Ski if things don't work out." Good luck
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Bring it up by saying: My neighbor just got a prenuptial aggrement with his fiancee. Think we should get one?
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You can't. If you tell her you want a prenuptial agreement you are telling her you believe there is a good chance you two will get divoriced. I thought marriage was forever, I'm sure she is thinking about forever too. If you don't think the marriage will last maybe you shouldn't be getting married. I can't speak for her but if my fiancee asked me to sign a prenup I would be inclined to break off the engagement. If your really dead set on the idea bring it up ( like Hot-stuff said ) say your neighbor got one, just to see what her reaction is on the subject, then go from there. You never know maybe she be OK with it, but I'd feel her out first.
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Very delicately. I am personally not the least bit offended by pre-nups having been through a divorce already. Let her know that you are not betting a divorce is in your future, but that you want to make sure her interests are protected as well as yours. Let her know that it isn't one sided and that you have as much concern for her as you do yourself. There really is no good way to bring this up and there is always the chance that no matter what you say and how sweetly you say it that she will be offended. Don't avoid talking about it though. . .you may end up very sorry later. It has to be discussed. I don't what else to tell you. Good luck. Hope this helps :)
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Don't approach her with it one-sidedly. Ask her what she wants should something happen between you two. Show her that you are just as interested in protecting her as you are in protecting your assets.
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If you feel strongly enough to risk it, then I would bring it up delicately and definitely watch carefully for signs that you are offending her or giving her reason to doubt her decision to marry you. Personally, if you two are starting out in life and planning on building a family together, it's frankly not a good idea to go into that with a "hoarding" mentality. Yes, divorce is a possiblity, but only if you two make it one. Don't let something so materialistic as a green piece of paper come between you two. Honestly, if the man I was marrying asked me to sign a pre-nup, I would seriously reconsider my decision to marry him. Even if it would be in my favor, I would rather give all the money away and start from scratch with the man I love then to sit down and negotiate an "escape plan" for a union I hadn't even entered into yet.
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You can always say your parents are insisting that you get one. Unless you don't have parents, then that won't work. :)
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If you can't talk comfortably about this subject, using the great advice I see from other answers, you might want to think long and hard. Among the other topics to be discussed before a life long commitment, are family/children expectations, financial protections (insurance, etc.)and whose job is more important. My Hubby and I agreed we would go where ever his employment takes him. We also both believe in adequate savings and insurance protections. One of my former husbands did not believe in insurance, and his death left me in desperate financial strain.
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Just say - "this is standard, I do this with all of my wives!" Just Kidding!!!
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Tell her that they seem to be a new standard and ask her what she thinks about them and if she has plans to get one. Let her take the lead in the conversation, and she just might take the lead in filing it. Let it be her idea, if you can. If she flat out refuses to acknowledge the need for a PNA, you might take that as a sign that she actually intends to stay with you, so be happy. Still, remind yourself and her that the current divorce rate is hovering right around 50%, and let her work with that on her own. If that gives her stage fright, then you have to work with that. In the meantime, you might add up all the assets and rights you want protected, to give her a list to consider. maybe she'll come up with a list of her own, and that could put you on the way to a PNA.
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This could be the start of something that you cannot finish. it could be so strong, that she may just call off the wedding. Its called trust or the lack of it. I would take a very long time to consider the agreement, before i asked her. this could be so offensive, that she may not want to be part of your life. it has happened before. Its your call. you know your fiancee, better than anyone. i would check my horoscope for the day of the big question. If she says no, then what? will it be worth it?
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That is the chance you have to take. Don't be shocked if she pulls one out for you to sign also.
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With the rising rate of divorce today, if you have assets to protect I don't think you should be shy to discuss Prenups. with your intended. No one can tell exactly what goes on inside someones' mind. You showing interest in Prenups. gives me the sense that you have assets. Some people look for a meal ticket first, then when they find it, they then work on a relationship. After all, it's you and your belongings you are protecting. Why be shy about it? If this person truly loves and care about you, that should not be an issue for them because they would be marring you "until death do us part." The enemy within is always worst than the enemy without; so be on guard. It's best to protect yourself; it's best to be proactive than reactive. If your subconscious didn't have second thoughts or unforeseen doubts about this person, you would not be thinking about Prenups.
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So what your saying is that your worried about your future together....
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You cannot say it without offending her. Just hope you have enough to compensate her for the time you waste on a relationship you obviousl;y think is doomed to failure. If you have an awful lot of money it is probably financially wise but very difficult to tell a person you are supposed to love you do not trust them, or yourself, to last the course.
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my husband he file a prenuptial before we merrage, and now after merrage he has new plan to file a will testament for us,? do you think that it is possible to file will testament even your husband has already file a prenuptial? i heard that of my some friends that its not possible to file a will testament if u got a prenup.. is that right?????
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.. but seriously, you may not offend her by possessing much less than she ;)
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Yuck. If my fiancee asked me to do that I would puke and walk away.
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Well you need to ask yourself what would you do if you were asked? I don't know but I'm sitting here thinking that if I asked in the most proper and delicate way possible and she / he took it in a negative respect then was it really meant to be? Maybe ask yourself do you want to start over again? Myself I'm 50 never married and no kids and about to retire I damn sure don't want to lose what I have nor do I want to start over. I was entertaining the thought of bringing this to the table at the start of the relationship just to see where he / she is at with it.
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You can't. She'll be angry no matter what. When I brought it up to mine, she was pissed, saying I was already planning on a divorce (I was divorced once already and lost my ass). I told her that I was hoping for the best for us but it would be stupid of me to not plan for this possibility. It came down to her signing it the day before our wedding. I told her if she didn't sign it I wasn't getting married. She can say it's about you planning on a divorce, you can tell her it's about the money, not love, if she doesn't. Good luck.
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Get your mother to do it.
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The problem with people's view of marriage is that it may not last. It is supposed to last. A pre-nup will only tell her you don't trust her or the prospect of your marriage lasting. If you love her enough to ask her to marry her, you love her enough to share everything for the rest of your life. I would look past the possibility of something going wrong and learn to love her and trust her completely. If you do not trust her and love her completely, you may reconsider marrying her.
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