If you love your boyfriend so much and dont want to hurt him, then why would you sleep with his friend on purpose. And now you say you dont want to hurt him, well, the way i look at it is that youll hurt him more if you dont tell him( that is a must if you are planning to get maried to your boyfrind)Good luck, think Smart

Your boyfriend doesn't deserve your behavior or his best friends behavior - Thats not LOVE

You better tell him because if he finds out from his best friend (who he LIVES with), then, that best friend will probably portray you as a total slut. Which you are. But, he is too.

Look up love in the dictionary..you don't love him and he deserves better.

Too late, you've already hurt him twice. And, sorry, but if you could sleep with someone else drunk or sober you never loved him in the first place. You have changed the dynamics of the relationship to the point it won't last anyways. And he will also find out eventually. Better it came from you then some one else. Time to fess up and let the chips fall where they may. Or better yet fess up and pack your bags and leave. You'll be doing him a favour in the long run. Because once you're gone he can find some one who does love and respect him.

Here's the long story: about a month into our relationship i kissed his best friend who's also one of my best friends while I was drunk. We decided it was because I used to have a crush on his best friend and because I was worried that my relationship with my boyfriend was just a rebound relationship. Well, turns out it wasn't just a rebound. I fell in love with him I even lost my virginity to him and we've even discussed marriage. I haven't seen my boyfriend in 2 months because he had to move for 3 months for a job. Anyways, I was really lonely and this was the most drunk I've ever been. So, we ended up sleeping together and I was worried that his best friend would read more into it because he was a virgin until then. Well, he promised me he would be fine and we decided to forget it and not tell anyone. But then later that day when we were not drunk anymore, he kissed me and I didn't stop him. We ended up sleeping together again. I feel awful. I love my boyfriend so much, but I was just so lonely. He comes back in 3 weeks and I don't know what to do. His best friend is going to be his roommate next year and we are all going to be living really close to each other so if I tell him it will be really awkward for everyone. I really do love him. I can't believe what I did. What do I do????

I'm all for casual sex, but only if you take responsibility for you actions. You have hurt him, and I doubt you love either one of them. Grow up time, baby.

Sounds like you need to hook up with the so called best friend, your guy friend doesn't have a best friend and doesn't need your kind of love.

you might as well tell him now so he can get checked for the diseases you've probably given him.

While a lot of the judgments here are harsh, I realize that the full story can't really be summed up in two or three sentences. If you believe you love him, then you should tell him. If he really loves you back, he'll forgive you. But that doesn't mean he'll forget, or even that he'll accept you back. But it's still better than living with guilt, isn't it? EDIT: Saw the long answer, and still sticking with my original reply. I'm a supporter of forgiveness, and know sometimes things just seem to go badly... but I also realize that if you know something's wrong and you do it anyways, you're still responsible.

Interesting way of showing your love. Tell him what happened if he loves you he might forgive you. Next time don't get trapped in the relationship clause if you want to play the field then play the field.

You don't want to hurt him? Isn't it too late for that? How much can you love him, if you are cheating with his friend behind his back. Tell him the truth, let him go and find someone who reciprocates his love. If you love him, treat him better than lying and cheating behind his back.

If you loved him you would not have done that to him. With his best friend? And you repeated it? Give me a break.

If i were you i would totally tell him, the guilt will get to you or he will catch you...either way he will find out. Ask your self why did you sleep with that man again? you must like him in some way to sleep with him twice...explain what happened to your boyfriend, don't try to make it a nice night and then tell him...just tell him as soon as you can

drunk might be forgivable... but doing it again when you were sober? nup. that is not right!!!!tell you boyfriend and let him get rid of you. that is a mean thing to do with his best friend... twice

If you really love him. You sure are not acting like it.

Wow - sounds like you really love him if you slept with his best friend, not once but twice! Seems like you're a really great girlfriend. Let's hope he finds out and dumps your sorry ass. He deserves much better than a skank girlfriend and a so called 'best mate', good luck to him!

tell him now..u have issues in your relationship that you MUST work out. From someone that has been cheated on, it is better that they find out sooner rather than later!!!!

I'll give you the benefit of doubt, and excuse the first time, but, if you really didn't want to hurt him, it wouldn't have happened a second time. I say you tell him what you did, and face the consequences.

you need to break up with your boyfriend. you might want to tell him the truth. you aren't able to be in this relationship any longer.

wow you people are harsh....why did you sleep with his best friend? do you like the friend or have any kind of feelings for him...or was it because you were drunk...i think you need to talk to the boyfriends best friend and let him know that you are going to tell your boyfriend...you will NEVER forget it...it's a very hard situation...i have strong feelings for my boyfriend's bestfriend/roomate and there is no good way out of it..no matter what either you or your boyfriend will get hurt

If you loved him, you wouldn't have done it the first time. Your best bet is to come clean and tell him before someone else does, and it will hurt him even more if he finds out from someone else.you made your bed,so you must lie in it,to bad your boyfriend will not be there beside you.

You won't like my answer..but you need to grow up and decide what you really want. You can't have them both and if you continue on like this you WILL lose them both. Start by asking what your priorities are..you boyfriend or a few hours of sex with his friend every week...then go from there. You are on a self destruct course right now.

You cannot possibly love him, or you wouldnt have cheated on him, and especially with his best friend, how many lines can you cross? You cant forget it, you have to live with your shallow ways. If you didnt want to hurt him, you would have been faithful and true, you are only thinking of yourself. You know it will kill him when he finds out, and he will, that is why you scared. Please dont start now by getting a conscience, and telling him what you did, you would only be doing that to make yourself feel better, and it would be intentionally trying to hurt him.

Look, EVERYONE makes mistakes, and the fact that all these people are calling you a slut and that you dont know what love is, is completly out of line. Tell your boyfriend. I'm sure his friend is feeling as guilty as you are and you dont want him to tell him making you look like the bad guy. Passion can just lead us to do the most STUPID of things. Worst case senario he dumps you. Its not the end of the world. You WILL get over that, and I'm sure you have plenty of friends that will support you. Plus you never know, the honesty might be a good thing. I hope you do the right thing. :)

I am currently in a similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend 3 years and in that time we have only been in the same country a total of about 10 months and that was at the start. This has been due to work/study commitments. I broke up with him last year because I couldn't deal with the distance thing, but he quickly arranged to come see me and promised we'd be together more often. He has just moved somewhere else now, further away and more expensive to get to and I haven't seen him in ages. I did love him and I do love him when I see him, but I'm just not sure as time progresses. It's like forgetting, or 'out of sight out of mind' type thing, but it really is just perfect again when we do (eventually) see each other. Anyway, I've been feeling very lonely these past couple of weeks, especially with Valentines Day as it's the 3rd in a row when we've not been together. Just 2 nights ago I went out with some of my friends and ended up sleeping with one of them (yes, it was a stupid drunken fumble). My boyfriend doesn't know any of these friends and I know he will never find out. I also know that it would absolutely kill him to find out which is why I have decided not to tell him. As for whether I will stay with him is a different matter. I have flights arranged to go see him in a few months so will decide by then. I know how it feels being separated and no one around to hug you when you're down. If it's only you and this guy that know and if you trust him not to tell then I think you shouldn't either. It will just hurt him, and even if he does say he forgives you he will never really trust you again. You might want to consider breaking up with him though, but I think only you can decide that as only you know your feelings towards him. Think about how you would feel if he did it to you. I personally wouldn't want to know as long as it will never happen again and that is what I'm going with.

Depends on whether or not you can live with the guilt. I'd say the first time, OK, things happen when people are drunk. But the next day sober?? C'mon. Since he doesn't know, and you don't technically have to tell him, it's just a matter of principle. I personally could not live with the guilt.

Distance yourself from both of them for a while so you can think about it uninfluenced by either.

You don't love this guy you're with so stop lying to yourself and to him. If you did 'feel' any form of compassion for this man you wouldn't have spread your legs for someone else especially his bestfriend/roommate. You are pretty much screwed ... twice (no pun intended) because if your boyfriend and his best friend are close you can pat your ass that you WILL be the topic of conversation when this all comes to surface - If they are true best friends it's "Bros before hoes" and you will be to the curb.

To be honest, I dont think you should tell him, Ive been in a similar situation, and even though you know that what you have done is wrong, decide for yourself if you actually do like his friend more than him. There is A reason you have slept with his friend and tried to blame it on being drunk, and then did it again sober! This would suggest that this was no mistake. If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, promise yourself to not do it again, if you decide otherwise, play the field but dont drag him into it

You must not like your boyfriend that much. Tell him and i hope he dumps you.

Uh... Tell him and then move on with your life.

that is some love... hmmm ? i think u get my point

O.K, I know you think you LOVE your boyfriend, but the truth of the matter is that if you really did you would have never cheated on him. Love is a very strong emotion that consumes your whole body, mind and soul. Tell him what happened, you can never be true to yourself or him by keeping this secret. He has a right to know what kind of people you and his best friend are.Let him choose if he wants to be with you after that. The truth will come out eventually anyway, it always does.

You better hope you don't get pregnant!!! Then what ya gonna do??

Drunk is no excuse and you learn that as you grow up. And as for "not wanting to hurt him." Too late! Sorry.

You 'love him so much' yet you did it a SECOND time with his best mate when you were SOBER? Saying you were drunk is a crap excuse but again? Tell him. It'll upset him but lying is worse.

just forget it. meanwhile your boy friend's best friend will tell him. that's what friends are for.

I made the same mistake once. My boyfriend and I had been fighting and he hadn't been treating me right. I left before he could leave me. I was heart broken, sobbing...and then his friend comforted me...tried to cheer me up...one thing led to another and we ended up making a big mistake (well, he didn't think of it that way...I was the one who was later saying "This is wrong!"). I told my ex...he was devastated. After two months of fighting and yelling at each other on the phone...we both realized that regardless, we still loved each other. Unconditionally. I will always feel guilty for the mistake I made. I hate that I hurt my boyfriend so much. He says he has forgiven me and that he just wants to be with me no matter what. I love him with all my heart.

If that's what you do to people you love, I'd hate to see what you do to people you hate

Tell him so he can kick your cheating carcass to the curb, get a new best friend/roommate and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

I would say something, cause u will act different in front of him.Things like that will never stay hush, u will get caught eventually and that will make the relationship harder to deal with. good luck on your choice.

Well, would it be better for him to hear it from you, or his best friend? You should probably tell him, and then let him decide if he wants to stay with you instead of him finding out a long time from now and being pissed that you hid it from him for so long. It's not like you just made a drunken mistake that never happened again. You don't have an excuse for the second time.

Come clean with your boyfriend and take your "lumps" like a lady. To do anything else is unfair to your boyfriend.

you love him but you bang his roomate???lol wow!!!!

Apparently, you do not love your boyfriend enough. Once? Twice? you wanted to.

If you love your boyfriend so much, then why did you sleep with his best friend/roommate? And please don't tell me that you were "drunk".

Well let me start by saying that if you didn’t want to hurt your bf than you shouldn’t have fuc#ed his best friend, and if you think that he is not going to find out than you are wrong.

Evidently you don't know the meaning of "love"; just how would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Or is that "different"? Believe me, your boyfriend WILL find out...

you should be so bloody ashamed of yourself. tell your boyfriend, hopefully he will give you a second chance, even though you dont deserve it.

you will not only hurt him because you slept with someone else, its going to hurt doubly because it was his best friend. Being drunk you have may let your guard down but you knew very well what you were doing. If you say you love him so much you wouldnt have even thought about it once let alone twice. It will take him a long time to trust you again, if he doesn't end the relationship. Your question is, should you tell him? Of course that would be the most honest thing to do but after you open up that can of worms comes the consequences.

he's going to find out. i guarantee it. you can either be honest and possibly be forgiven, although i doubt he will stay with you, or you can wait for someone else to tell him and have absolutely no chance in hell. would you forgive him if he did it?

Close your leggs for the non-boyfriend he is using you.

you need to reevaluate your love meter tell him, take a dumpin, and go screw the friend some more its the least you can do for jacking the friendship

The lies will catch up with you. Sounds like you need a open relationships. How would you feel if he done this to you

I don't know of a nice way to say this, but you are full of it. You don't love your boyfriend. You love yourself or you wouldn't be screwing this other guy. Once you could claim the "accident" thing (although we both know that's bullshit too), but you are doing it because you want to and evidently enjoy it. If you don't want to hurt him (more than you already are), leave the relationship and go get all the whoring out of your system.

I have to say I pity your boyfriend -- his best friend's a major a-hole, and his girlfriend's a floozy. The only dignified thing to do is to end that relationship ASAP!

Four letter word. Starts with S, ends with T.

Your actions give new meaning to the word....... T R A S H

You blew it. I don't think you truly love him and regardless of what you do, what goes around comes around

you are one filthy animal...wouldn't happen again?? if you're drunk,that's could be tolerated but you weren't.... love him so much?? don give me that crap...if i were him,i'll dump you away in an instant....