ANSWERS: 22
  • The worst thing you can do to a child is fill a truth gap with false information. If you think she's too young for "this is the penis and this is the vagina" look for a watered-down version of the story, involving "love" and "what GROWN-UPS do", and "not talking about Mommy and Daddy's special playtime with her other school friends".
  • Children are very perceptive. If you try to avoid the subject with her, she may get even more inquisitive because she might sense your apprehension about the subject. Be honest but don't provide details that she is not ready for. I know this sounds difficult, but it is important because it is better that the information come from you than from someone less qualified to discuss the subject with her.
  • What has she been asking you. Just tell her you were guys were just wrestling or playing.
  • She's too young to know the gory details about sex, but you can teach her about Mommy and Daddy coming together and expressing how much they love each other. You can say that you go together perfectly, but that it's a private thing, and you're sorry she saw it, and she shouldn't talk about it with people. Try to show her that it's a loving, intimate time just for Mommy and Daddy, and an adult thing which she's too little for. Children of that age are used to being too little for things... but also very curious, and you need to try to satisfy the curiosity without telling too much. My three year old listened to us the other day (fortunately, we were pretty tame because we knew she was awake, though we thought she was watching TV...) and we had to explain it in three year old terms to her. It's inevitable, eventually.
  • I learned about sex at about that age. I was a curious lil thing. I walked in on my grandma and her hubby *cringe in horror* a few times at that age. Don't do like they did and tell me it's evil and never do it. I was very put off by the whole sex thing when I got older...
  • "I will tell you when you're X years old" or if you decide to talk about it. " Men and Women when they love each other, they like to be as close as possible." something like that..
  • I know you don't want to lie to her so, I would suggest that you tell her the truth and take it from there.
  • There's nothing wrong with a 5-year-old learning about sex. That's about how old I was when my parents began explaining it to me. I am not damaged, or deranged or anything like that. Ok, maybe a little. Just tell her the truth, and explain it in a way that is not too clinical. This is probably the best chance you'll have to instill the correct moral/emotional attitudes about sex that she will carry with her for the rest of her life (love, trust, etc.)
  • I learned younger than that. I got it all too. The penis/vagina thing, how it's a way to show your love for the other person, how it can be fun , how it should ONLY be done with someone you have feelings for.... A bit of it may depend on her intelligence though. While kids are generally perceptive and have yet to have their vision clouded by the cynicism or caution that comes with age, I am not sure if she is reading at a third-grade level at that age like I was either.
  • I doubt this helps you in any true sense but I will say that once you open 'that door' it will be hard to close it so keep that in mind
  • We were Greek wrestling.
  • she already knows what sex is because she watches TV doesn't she......so might as well tell the truth because she'll know you're lying otherwise......but don't traumatize her with pictures and graphs....next time lock your bedroom door, even for a quickie.....LoLz
  • I think you should just tell her that you and her dad were spending adult time together. She doesn't need to know much more, and won't understand anyway. PLUS anything you say can and most likely will be repeated some time (usually inappropriate times) to anyone (relatives, friends, other kids who will repeat it). If she keeps asking, tell her that "mommy and daddy love each other and spend time together, like husbands and wives do. I, personally, probably wouldn't mention the "SEX" word. She wont understand what that word really means, and since it's sometimes used in a negative way (sex on tv, movies, media, etc.. she may see it as a bad thing and become shy or ashamed later on, not wanting to talk to you about it.) You can just say you and her daddy love each other and when she's an adult, she will love her husband too. I'd leave out technical words for now (pe nis, vagi na, etc.) Also - try not to freak out! Don't make it seem like a shameful or embarassing thing, because it's not! Be sure to lock the door and teach her about how important knocking is. (You can tell her it's so you can get ready to welcome the princess into the room - she should be sure to give you a lot of time, because she's so important, you don't want to miss anything she has to say!) You can say that adults need some privacy sometimes when they spend time together. (Different than spending time as parent-daughter.) Oh, and be sure to have frequent talks to her as she gets older, when SHE asks, maybe starting at age, oh.. 10 :o) (And if she doesn't.. be sure you've had many talks before she gets into JR. High school.... and high school.. and college..! :o) (I was very old for my age growing up. I used to mess with my mom and at random times ask her "Mom, what's sex?" Although I did know the technical stuff - what people say (of course I didn't know what it REALLY TRUELY was, what it all meant, just like everyone else until they're older) but I did know she would get startled at first, then try to explain it very technically. I'd just laugh, because I knew what she was going to say. I didn't really want to know much, I just liked the reaction. I'm saying that to back up my advice about not freaking out or letting yourself come across as unsure, freaked, uneasy, etc.)
  • There is no inherent evil or danger in teaching kids about sex at that age or even younger. The worst that can happen is that they won't understand it and you can explain it to them. When I was very young, my parents bought this book for children explaining sex in detail with cartoony illustrations. It's a book in Spanish called "Asi nacen los niños" which translate into "This is how babies are born" published in 1977 by SEDMAY ediciones. It starts off with something like: "You've probably wondered how you and your friends were born. Maybe you asked yourself that question when your little brother was born. And you've probably noticed that most grown ups usually don't want to tell you. What's probably true is that no one has tried explaining this to you with clarity. Now, we want to explain to you with full clarity and detail as thought it were a tale, a marvelous tale." It explains the differences between boys and girls, it talks about how your parents fell in love, got married, and whatnot. It goes on to explain everything in detail and in the context of love including physiology, arousal, sex, fertilization, pregnancy, and birth. And it ends saying "Storks are nice birds but they've never never brought a child to this world. What they bring is more storks." I read it when I was very little probably about 5 or 6 with my parents help and it answered a lot of my questions. Shielding your kids from reality is not a good thing. Specially when they grow up thinking that sex is something that's dirty and should be kept a secret as though no one ever has it. I remember when I was about 8 or so, a friend of mine started talking about how the stork had brought him a new brother. I told him that it wasn't true and explained to him how babies were born. Well, shortly after that, my friend's parents called my parents and told them that I had told their kid all kinds of nasty and dirty vulgarities and that they should know better than to teach a kid such subjects. To each their own, I guess, but to me this shows a very backwards way of thinking.
  • I don't think she is too young. I'm not saying get out the diagrams or tell her about blow jobs, I just think she's old enough to hear some basic information. The fact that she's asking questions is evidence that she's ready to hear some answers, also it means that she trusts you--and if you don't come through now, she might not come to you with her questions in the future. If I were you, I'd tell her that what she saw was you and her daddy making love, and that making love is something that grown-ups do when they love each other in a very special way (or, when they're married, depending on the personal morals that you want to pass on to your child). Tell her that this is something grown-ups do in private and that you hadn't intended for her to see it--not because it's bad, but just like how grown-ups go to the toilet in private, they make love in private, too. You can probably leave it at that. If she still has questions, just answer them as simply as you can. Like if she asks, why do people make love, you can say that it strengthens the bond between people in love, and that sometimes people do it to make babies. If she asks how people make love, you can say that they hold each other, and kiss each other, and put their private parts together. If she asks about specific people, like if her teacher makes love, you can say that you don't know because it is a private thing that people do.
  • At 5yrs old...I would tell her we were play wrestling...lol! Then I would say I got hurt ...a boo-boo so dont do what mommy and daddy did ok.
  • Depends on what position you were in. There's probably a significant difference between her catching you tussling under the sheets and her catching her father gagged and bound with you standing over him with a paddle in your hand. ;) If the former, you can tell her you were loving each other - I, like others, have no issues telling kids about sex and explaining that it's a way for adults to behave. If it was the latter, then you're on your own kiddo!
  • Just sit her down and tell her you and your husband were "loving" each other. She wont ask too many questions I am sure.
  • Tell her you were doing "grown up things". Def don't teach her about sex yet, did you see the last episode of Desperate Housewives. This happened and the girls parents explained it to her and she went and told a bunch of other kids and there parents got mad. LOL. I don't think 5 is too young to teach to knock either.
  • Personally, I say you were wrestling and just playing around having fun. 5 years old seems way to young to be talking about birds and bees. I say lie!
  • If she's old enough to ask questions, she's old enough to hear answers. It's true that you didn't plan this, but life is full of unexpected surprises: that is something you'll have to deal with in raising your daughter, and something she'll have to learn! So I suggest sitting down with your daughter and husband, and having a little conversation. Ideally, do it at a time when you're already all together so it seems natural to your daughter, and maybe she is doing something with her hands (this helps many children concentrate), like simple crafts, or you're sitting down to a meal. Or, if she asks the question, answer it then and there. Use simple language. Don't introduce too many new words that you'll have to define. But don't use baby words: use the real words for the things you're talking about. Try to relate the things you're saying to other things she already knows about. You can explain to her that when she walked into your bedroom the other day, you and her dad were making love. Making love is a way, like kissing, that husbands and wives show they love each other with their bodies. It is a very private thing, though, a special thing they share with no one else. It was a mistake when she walked in and saw it, so from now on, she should knock at the door before entering your bedroom. If she has other questions, answer them. Even if it comes to telling her about reproduction and body parts: if she's old enough to ask, she's old enough to know.
  • You should tell her something like it was a play fight or messing around. if you tell her about what it really is you know what kids are like they always tell the truth to other people about whats going off at home. you dont want a five year old sayin my mummy and daddy have sex do you lol tell her about it when the time is right

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