ANSWERS: 4
  • What do you want? If you want more and marriage, I'd say only you can answer your question. Change is scary but keeps us moving forward. Remember, time waits for no one. If you're okay with it now, then except that you may be in the same place 10 years from now. Good luck and be happy :-)
  • Sounds dysfunctional. Get some couples counseling. Or cheat on him ;-)
  • If you have been together six years and lived together four that sounds pretty committed. Must be some reason both of you have stayed together that long. Honey its seldom going to be constantly all new and exciting and "progressing", whatever that means. Marriage is not as attractive to lots of people today as it once was to say people of my generation. Or for many people today marriage had become such a big thing they are afraid to get into it because they are afraid it somehow won't be perfect or they will "fail" at it so they don't want to take a chance that might ruin things. As far as the other chances are he just became used to not coming with you to protect you and that has become habit. But if you like being with each other and sex is good then why question it? If you were married would things be any better? If you are not happy in your relationship then why stay in it? Or do you imagine if you are married and (presumably) pregnant that will mean he is more "committed" to you?
  • Up to the last part, I didn't see a problem. My gf and I have been together for ten years - and actually dated before we moved in together - and have three wonderful children (ages 7, 6 (boys) and 4 (girl.)) For us, it was not a matter of commitment, it was that we both felt that marriage, instead of making our love and our relationship seem more meaningful, made it seem less. So we decided that we were happy living together. A wedding seems to us like a lot of noise, and a marriage license is a dime a dozen. They pretty much hand them out to anyone these days. (Albeit, we recognize the religious dimension, but that is something that you will have to reflect upon. If your faith - assuming you have one - means something to you, then you have to view it through that prism and your relationship in that context.) Further, Officegirl (see above) - as she often is - is right. Not every step of the relationship will progress - whatever that means - and indeed, maturity is probably the point where you come to just being happy with where you are and not simply waiting for the next step. (The beginning of wisdom is being grateful for what you have, and not always looking over the horizon to what you believe - with no proof - will be a better tomorrow.) It was the last part, though, that caught me up short. If your bf won't even cum inside you with a condom on, that strikes me as a bit much. It may simply be a matter of being extra cautious - to the point of paranoia - about pregnancy. At a minimum, you can say that he certainly does not want to have children. However, this all may reflect bigger doubts he has about a long term relationship with you. Without more information, it is hard to know. All I can say is that sex is an important part of my relationship with my gf and putting that rather odd restriction - no cumming inside you - on it seems extreme. At the very least, you two need to sit down and have a long talk. (Best advice, do not attack or accuse. Make him as comfortable as possible and tell him that you are happy with where you are but want to know if he is where he wants to be. Make it about what he wants for his future, not what you want. In that connection, be advised that a guy will tend to accept what he is given unless he is very unhappy. He may answer that he IS happy without giving it more thought. So you will have to listen carefully and learn to read between the lines.) So you need to decide. Do you want/need to be married? Do you enjoy sex with him as it is? Do you want to have children with him? Even more basic, do you love him enough to stay with the status quo if that is what he wants? After you are absolutely clear in your own mind, you need to wind up your courage and talk with him. Do not be accusatory and be prepared to hear answers that you may not want to hear. Moreover, be aware that HE may not be clear in his own mind what he wants, so don't expect all the answers in one conversation. You want to get him thinking as much as you want the answers. So, be prepared, this will take time.

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