First, thanks for answering my question, and not to worry, I would not judge. While breast feeding a boy that many years is not the norm, it is not unheard of. Some mothers do so because of the strong attachment that they form to their children. I won't kid you, it can have negative effects as we are programmed by evolution to be weaned at a relatively early age. Your anxiety about masturbating is probably one indication of that. Still, it's not like you asked your mom to breast feed you till you were almost 12 - and it comes down to this: If parents got child rearing perfectly right, the whole world would be perfect in a generation. Guess what? Parents don't and so the world isn't. Now, as regards your responses, there is no "right" answer to how much masturbation is normal. As long as you can function socially and it does not interrupt your work and other activities, you could masturbate once a year or 200 times a day - though you would be pretty sore - and it would not matter. Relax. Stop worrying. You are fine. You are 14 and your hormones are surging and your sperm count is rising and your body is sexually maturing and that is how it goes. Only about all of male humanity - and female humanity for that matter - has done this before you. In that connection, you are SUPPOSED to enjoy masturbating. Here is the thing. As a a fact of evolutionary biology, you are on the verge of your sexual prime. (For males, ages 16 to 23 on average.) Evolution has programmed you as a male to seek out as many female mates as you can to make as many babies as you can. It is how the species has survived for 4 million years. (Females are programmed differently. Because the human female can only bear one child at a time, she is programmed to seek out only one mate at a time. She wants the most virile strong male to give her healthy babies and protect her and her offspring while she nurses. I digress.) However, humans are more than mere animals and society places restrictions on your sexual activity. There would be chaos if every sexually fertile male was having babies all over the place. (At 14, you are barely old enough to take care of yourself. Imagine what society would be like if you had to take care of a woman and a baby! ) So that means your body is telling you to have sex and society is telling you that you can't. So you, in effect, split the difference. Masturbation satisfies your biological urges in a way that does not risk social chaos. If you cum on yourself, you are satisfied sexually and society - and your parents - are not saddled with a bunch of babies it and they, can't take care of. Everybody wins. Of course, as you mature sexually masturbation will be a bit less satisfying - that is if you mature in other ways normally - and you will want sex with a female more. (That's why we do have a crisis of unwed mothers in this country.) Still, in effect, you are giving yourself time to mature socially while your body races ahead in its sexual development physically. As to wet dreams before masturbating - file that one under "obviously." One of the reasons your sex drive is rising is that your sperm count is rising. Your body wants to make babies. When you masturbate, you temporarily reduce your sperm count, and so when you masturbate and then go to sleep, your body has fewer sperm and therefore you won't dream sexually - you may or may not remember your dreams - as your body works to replenish your sperm supply and has no need to get rid of excess sperm. (Here is the fun part. As you reach sexual maturity, your body will replace sperm faster and faster, and it is more likely that you will have wet dreams even if you masturbate before you go to bed. Enjoy your sleep while you still can. Of course, as you mature in other ways you will get more responsibilities and begin dating and all of this will impact your desire for sex and to masturbate, too.) As to taking FOREVER to orgasm, that is because you ar

(Cont. from above...) Your body still does not know what excites it and strange as it may seem you actually don't yet know where you should put your hands to make you feel good. You are probably orgasming faster than you think, though, so relax. (By the way, older guys like me can only envy you. Right now, for you, sex is all about you. However, as you get older, it will be about pleasing women...and women like sex to be prolonged. (I won't go into the evolutionary reasons for this.) Right now, to a woman, if you take a long time to cum, you are a sexual super-champion. You are everything she has dreamed of. Congrats! Enjoy it while you can. As to the pjs thing, I am glad that helped. However, I did not mean that as advice as such. By your age I was sleeping in my underwear and by age 16 I was sleeping in the nude. Sleep how you are comfortable. My brother prefers pjs to this day. I don't. My only point was that if you don't want to wake up in a pool of your own semen, pajamas - or underwear at the very least - is the better way to go. (In that connection, briefs or boxerbriefs are better than boxers for catching your cum.) Here is the upside. If you don't want your mom to see evidence of what she probably already knows if she knows anything about male sexuality, pjs are better. Sleep nude and she will be washing bed sheets with a sticky stain on them. Proceed at your own risk. A couple of final things. I am glad - and not surprised - that the porn helped. (I bet your parents would be thrilled to know you are watching porn. Oh well.) Guys are visual creatures and sexual images excite us. (Women are wired differently, but that is a story for another day.) Just be careful, porn can be addicting. It can give you the wrong idea about what sex is all about and set you up for major disappointments down the road. What you are seeing on the screen is Hollywood, not life. Example: You see all these sexual champions on the screen. Want to know what your first sexual experience will likely be REALLY like? It will be awkward. You won't know how to please her, where to put your hands and you will probably orgasm way too fast. She will be uncomfortable and shy...and you will both be thrilled and disappointed all at once. As you mature, it will get better and better. However, just know, what you saw on the screen will not be what it is like. You are seeing the "act," but what you are not seeing is the feelings. Sometimes you will be loving and tender and affectionate. Other times you will be no different than an animal breeding in a field and dominating your partner. No matter what, though, it won't be what you see on the screen, but because you are young, you have no way to judge. So, by all means, the porn will help you satisfy your sexual needs, but don't get carried away. Keep your perspective. Two last things. You mentioned that you are controlling your urges around your friends - I assume you mean your guy friends. That's always a good idea. However, know that your friends are experiencing essentially the same physical urges. You are not alone - although we all mature at different speeds. However, don't be surprised if - especially if you are in close quarters - funny things happen. True story: There is something guys do sometimes called a "circle jerk." When I was about your age two friends and I were at my friend's house alone and he had gotten some porn. (Magazines in those days.) We were looking at it - as healthy boys will - and gosh, what do you know, it sure is warm in this house. So off came the shirts and soon enough the rest of our clothes and the next thing you know there are three naked guys masturbating to porn. Then we all - it probably took 30 seconds - had our orgasms. Then there were just three naked guys with cum on their chests and their dicks and their balls and hands...and, "Omigosh look at the time. I've got get home..." and we are embarrassed and reassuring each

(Cont. from above...) reassuring each other that we are not gay and we like girls and trying not to look at each other. It was awful. My point is, both you and your friends are experiencing incredible physical and psychological sexual pressures. It will make weird things happen sometimes. Don't panic. You are perfectly normal. (Think of this. If one of your guy friends is gay, he is probably looking at you and getting horny. Compared to him, you have it easy. You can play baseball and work off your sex drive. He gets to look at you and imagine you naked - even if you are playing baseball. I joke - sort of.) Finally, as regards my own question. I don't judge, but being nursed as long as you were will likely impact what excites you sexually. My gf and I have lived together ten years and have three children together- two boys (7 and 6) and one girl (4). We adore each other but we just felt that we wanted our relationship to be about us without all the stuff about marriage. At the time my gf was nursing our children, we would have sex and I would suck her breasts and drink her breast milk. It was incredibly sexy and it would make me feel very relaxed and close to her. I would want to cuddle with her and I would even get sleepy. (I looked this up: The science says that men breast feeding during sex are subconsciously remembering being nursed and how they felt safe and protected and nurtured by their mothers. Yes, I AM a nerd and I look this stuff up.) All I knew was that I loved my gf and felt wanted. (My gf liked it too - she said it made her feel very protective of me and that I was cute - at least until having two sets of lips on her tits started to make them tender. It was fun while it lasted.) It was amazing - and it is very likely that you will not get the same feelings. Again, don't stress out. You are normal, but we are all impacted by how we are raised and that will impact what you like and don't like - especially when it comes to sex. Here you are 14 and worrying about if you are masturbating too much, for gosh sakes. Stop. You are a good kid. Perfectly normal Hope my VERY long winded advice helps.

Well, that was certainly very long winded, but nonetheless I thank you for your advice and your amazing insight. Although I do have one question - and not to get ahead of myself here - but at what approximate age does the "dating game" begin?

Thanks, and I really am sorry I rambled on. I hope it was helpful. As to dating, that is more a social thing. My first date - if you can call it that - was in 7th grade. My mom drove me and a girl I had a crush on to the movies. In my freshman and sophomore years in high school, I would meet a girl at some school event or at the mall. Once I was a junior - and age 16 - and had a driver's license, that is when my dating took off. (It is also the age when I had sex for the first time, interestingly enough.) A lot depends on what your parents will allow. A lot will also depend on what the girl's parents will allow her to do. I have not been a teenager trying to date in a while, so I can't say what it is like now. I know that I dated as early as 7th grade, but I always hated my parents having to drive me around. She lived close by and came over to my house one time and we went for a walk in the woods near our place. That was when I got my first - very awkward - kiss. What I would say is that if you can get around on your own, you will have better luck. Right now, what I would do is simply ask a girl to a movie or lunch or something. 14 is a tough age and she may blow you off. Don't take it personally. At that age, girls can be shy - and your ego will take it badly but you'll recover. If you are talking about sex, that is something only you and the girl will know. You will need privacy, though, and at 14 that is hard to come by. Again, if you can get around on your own, you will have better luck. My hunch is - and I may be prejudiced by my own experience - but age 16 is when sex will not be too awkward for both of you. Keep in mind, though, girls are verbal. Whoever you choose won't just date you want and then want to sleep with you. You will have to put in time and effort. So take it slow. Yeah, I know, you are so horny that you can jump out of your skin. Hang in there, though. You'll get there.

Thank you again for your helpful advice. As for dating later on, I'm not one of those guys who does it just for the sex part or anything. I mean, yeah, sex is important, but I would want our relationship to mean something. In fact, I actually have a crush on a girl - Jasmine - and I don't know whether or not she likes me. Like, she smiles at me and winks at me on occasion, but... I'll just have to wait and see.

You are a great kid. By the way, take a chance. It sounds like she likes you...and I can certainly see why. Think about an easy date - a movie or an amusement park or something. If there are still school dances - they can be awkward at your age - but they are a safe and easy way to have a date. Good luck.

Thanks - and I did enjoy your answer. Believe me, I totally relate to the intimacy you and your husband feel. As I mentioned above, my gf and I have lived together ten years and have three children together- two boys (7 and 6) and one girl (4). (We adore each other but we just felt that we wanted our relationship to be about us without all the stuff about marriage.) At the time my gf was nursing our children, we would have sex and I would suck her breasts and drink her breast milk. It was incredibly sexy and it would make me feel very relaxed and close to her. I would want to cuddle with her and I would even get sleepy. (I looked this up: The science says that men breast feeding during sex are subconsciously remembering being nursed and how they felt safe and protected and nurtured by their mothers. Yes, I AM a nerd and I look this stuff up.) All I knew was that I loved my gf and felt wanted. (My gf liked it too - she said it made her feel very protective of me and that I was cute as she would look down at me nursing at her breasts and dozing off - at least until having two sets of lips on her tits started to make them tender. It was fun while it lasted.) It was amazing. If you don't mind my asking, how did you keep producing breast milk? My gf no longer can and honestly, I miss it. We never used breast milk in a glass or anything like you have done - for us (as opposed to our babies) it was purely sexual. Maybe that was the difference?

Perhaps. Also, if I may ask (this may relate to why your wife's breasts stopped producing milk), how long did she nurse [your] children for? (I breastfed both my sons until they were 2 1/2 years old, while I nursed my daughter until she was 8 years old, and even after that I gave her bottles of my breast milk every so often.) Also, breasts tend to slow production of milk by around age 35 (I'm 32 now), is your wife around that age? If so, that may be a contributing factor. In addition, while my husband is off at work, I do some "exercises" with my breasts - fondling with them, and I can even suck on them if I really try hard, and I don't usually do it to actually get milk out (although that inevitably happens anyway), it just lets the breasts know that there is a "child" who is still nursing and naturally increases the milk flow. For example, I'm currently pumping my milk with one hand and my milk flow is going pretty okay. Also, me and my husband also do it simply because it is amazingly sexy, but we also do it for the bonding part as well, as it somehow helps reminds us that we love fell in love once, and we do so every morning. I apologize if I was not much help, but glad if I could!

Thanks, very helpful. My gf - we both decided that we love each other but don't like all the trappings of marriage - is 34. As far as how long she breast fed the kids, I think till about 1 1/2 or 2. I'll have to ask her as I don't fully remember. I do see that you did a lot to keep producing milk, but we never did that. After the kids were weaned, that was it. So that probably explains it. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, I guess. No need to apologize, you were a ton of help. May I ask one more question - and please don't answer if it is too personal. You both seem to be drinking breast milk as much for reasons of nutrition, health and taste as well as sex. For my gf and myself, it was sex and intimacy. Is it for you, largely about sex, or are the other considerations foremost? Again, no need for details and please, no need to answer if I am crossing a line.

No need to apologize, I am a very open women, especially when it comes to milk (more so to nursing or formerly nursing mothers, but I honestly don't mind). He mostly nursed from me (and I sometimes nursed myself meanwhile) to help strengthen our mind, and also because it was sexy and, to be honest, my milk is really good. (Which is why I'm pumping it right now - I'm somewhat thirsty.) As for other reasons, all I can think of right now is for some health benefits - for example, me and my husband haven't been sick in years. I also forgot to mention in my first comment that I still nurse all three of my children, but only on special days - their birthdays, the holidays, when they receive a reward from school, etc. Why do I do it? Not just because I love my children, but I want to continue our bond that we have all shared with each other for years. And while I know I cannot nurse any of them full-time, I do nurse them on special occasions to make them feel like they accomplished something amazing, so to speak. I also don't force feed them (obviously) - they request it, but only during those certain "events". I never weaned them - they weaned themselves. While they are certainly welcome to nurse again if they want (both my sons are age 6 and my daughter is age 10), I think they have moved on... maybe except for my daughter. She seems attached to it (through memories) the most out of the three.

*bond, not mind

Thanks. I was aware that breast milk has special nutritional value - and I certainly understand how it maintains special bonds to your children. Honestly, I think that is beautiful and I am surprised I am so struck by that. Again, with my gf and I it was sexual, but we felt so close to each other and I felt - for lack of a better word - wanted. The intimacy was amazing and I say that as a guy who tends to be sexually dominant. It was an incredible change of mindset for me and very loving. So, thanks again. You have been hugely helpful and interesting.

You're welcome. If you ever want to chat about this kind of thing again, feel free to ask me (or your gf, especially!). I'm online fairly often. Progress update: Going to drink my milk

And if you don't mind me asking, how long did you breastfeed from her for? (You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable.)

Happy to answer. Maybe a few months after each baby was born. One problem we had was that my gfd's nipples got a bit sensitive. We loved the intimacy, but we believed in breast feeding the babies and so I would back off - and cry a lot (kidding) - if she got sensitive. Honestly, we probably should have thought more ahead than we did once we realized how pleasurable our sex had become. (Actually, particularly after our children were born, I was happy that we kept having sex. I had heard stories from friends saying how after their babies were born the sex dried up. I am lucky that I have a gf who is sort of old fashioned about such things and believes that she must be available to - as she puts it - service my needs. I try to be considerate, but I probably was not always as sensitive as I should have been. Thanks again so much. We'll be in touch if we have questions.

Happy to help. Tell your wife she can message me (on here) any time she needs. :) I've just finished hand expressing the last bit of milk from my breasts (there was some milk), and my husband won't be home until late tonight (:C), so I'll be heading to bed. Wonderful talking to you!

*some left

Thanks and really enjoyed it. I will let her know.

Thanks and congratulations. It sounds like you have found real happiness. I can say that, to me, my happiness is so much related to having found a person that I can be intimate with and who loves me for who I am. I am sorry for your divorce and happy for how it has ended for you in the arms of a beautiful woman you can love. On the nutritional benefits of breast milk, I am just not qualified to say, though I understand - and it makes sense - that it is quite high. As to taste, I know that outside of the sexual intimacy, I was surprised at how much I loved the taste of my gfd's breast milk. Of course, that is not quite what you asked. Lilly is still breast feeding her children - see above - and it seems to work. However, I am also talking to a young man who is 14 now and who was breast fed till he was 11. He is a great kid but he seems to have anxieties about sex that may be related to the fact that he was breast fed too long. Breast feeding develops a powerful sense of intimacy, both between lovers - I know how much it made me want my gf and to share our naked bodies together - and between mothers and their children. However, your child needs to develop a degree of independence. While, strictly speaking, breast feeding an older child need not compromise their independence - and indeed may make them more confident - a lot will depend on how you raise your child. There are too many other issues to make a generalization. Sorry, that may not be much help. Certainly I can understand the closeness it would give you to your daughter. However, I would tend to er on the side of caution. That is just me, though. I know my gf - with our kids - hated to stop but the time came, so to speak. Also, if you can, contact Lilly above - she may give you different and better advice. Thanks for answering.

You're welcome, and thank you. I will contact Lilly. You have also been most helpful. Kate is getting older, and she no longer needs my milk. Plus, more for me. Haha I'm kidding. But seriously though, I love my milk.

There is nothing wrong with that! Hey, you raised a daughter on it and it has give you deep intimacy with another woman. What is not to like?

Plus it tastes good. Haha :) I'm still considering allowing Kate to nurse... even if it's only once. She seemed (or seems) to really want it, but not too much that I HAVE to say no... Should I... just this once at least?

Well, her birthday is next week. Maybe I could nurse her on her birthday as an extra "present". Hmm... Wow is my milk ever good. Lol :)

As controversial as this may sound, I'm going go see if Kate wants to nurse. I'm just doing what I feel is right, I suppose

First, happy birthday to your daughter. As far as nursing her, as I said, I can certainly understand the emotional closeness it would give you. I have three little one - 7,6 and 4 - and every day they grow up just a bit and I imagine the day that they will leave home and go out into the world. I want them too, but I'll miss them, too and it makes me sad to think about. For a woman, nursing would give you just that extra moment of closeness, so I get it. Still, you are her mother. You have to do what is right for her, not best for you. As I said, I would tend to err on the side of caution, but I think Lilly would see it differently. Sex between a man and a woman is one thing, but the proper emotional development of your child is another. One time, no big deal I guess, depending on how you handle it. A regular thing, a different issue. So on this one, I would lean against, but I understand. By the way, I love the taste of my gfd's breast milk so I can imagine that yours must be pretty good.

I read what your said and I agree with you. It's about her, not about me. Thus, I still agree she is getting older and doesn't need my breast milk anymore. My breast milk tastes really good, so I drink it as often as I can. Unfortunately I woke up this morning and my breasts were swollen with milk, so it was painful getting the milk out. (Sasha breastfed from me.) The pain has subsided now, and I might breastfeed myself in a while. (Did I mention that I can do that?)

Good evening, dorat. Just messaging you to see how you and your gf are doing along. For the first time in weeks, I finally have some time off to myself! As a big announcement (and update), I'm breastfeeding my children on demand again. (They're 6 years old, 8 years old, and 14 years old, in case you've forgotten.) They personally asked for it and after some thinking I saw nothing wrong with it, so I now breastfeed them twice a day on average, but Amelia, my oldest daughter, typically nurses from me much less often. Things are going great and we are (still) a one big, happy family! :)

*going along