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by Anonymous on July 18th, 2007

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How do I tell this guy i have been seeing off and on for three years that i'm in love with him? We have never even talked about the L word. Heres another problem I'm married w/children and hes single w/no children. My marriage has been over awhile.

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Answers. 8 helpful answers below.

  • by JAMMco... its complicated... on July 18th, 2007

    JAMMco... its complicated...

    Question for you first... How can you be married and say your marriage has been over a while?

    Have you been officially divorced? Has it been for 3 years or is this person that you've been 'seeing' off and on the cause of the problem in your marriage?

    If in fact you are still married and seeing this guy, I would hold off on using the L word as I'm not too sure you really understand what it is after all.

    Love, to me, is not seeing other people while you are married.

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  • by inconsequential on July 18th, 2007

    inconsequential

    (1.) Your marriage is over when the divorce is final.
    (2.) If years have passed and this man has never said he loves you, I would question your importance in his life. That he's okay about seeing you despite the fact that you're married brings his character into question. Perhaps you're a safe diversion -- fun to play with then put back on the shelf; available for sex but unavailable for a formal relationship.

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  • by A on December 5th, 2008

    A

    You are married. Therefore, your marriage is not over.

    Do not run for cover or hide from the truth. You are married. It is time for you to face it.

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  • by Gideon on July 18th, 2007

    Gideon

    If you're still married, then your marriage is not over. I understand what you're saying but if you are still in your marraige then you still have a commitment.

    You're marriage is over but you're still in it...you've been seeing soemone for THREE YEAR but have never even discussed love... It sounds like you may have a problem committing to much.

    If you like this new man -- indeed, if you love him -- you need to do the right thing, which is to tie up the loose ends of a marriage that's not working and express your feelings and intentions to your lover. Good luck.

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  • by pagan-babe on July 18th, 2007

    pagan-babe

    Id speak to your boyfriend,and ask his intentions first and formost.The if its what you really want get out of that marriage.

    I know it isnt easy and its security but if your in love with some one else and he you then its time to make the move.Good luck

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  • by Anonymous on July 18th, 2007

    Anonymous

    Don't tell this guy any thing keep it to yourself and stop seeing him.

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  • by Rinky Dinky Do on December 5th, 2008

    Rinky Dinky Do

    Hey, you've got big problems, girl! 3 years and no L word? Whew! That's a tough one...


    As for the being married with children and him being single and all that...don't sweat the small stuff!

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  • by Casey on July 18th, 2007

    Casey

    1. Get counseling, if not with your husband at least by yourself. They will help you realize and learn things about yourself that you may have never known, also they see things from a different perspective - they can "step out" of the situation. (if this doesn't work see #2)

    2. Get a divorce - maybe you are still with him for the sake of your children? however, in reality you're hurting your children more by staying with him (continue counseling).

    3. Take some time and be by yourself, take a vacation/trip somewhere if possible (continue counseling).

    4. If you still want to bring up the "L" word then do it, however, if it hasn't been discussed up to this point there may be a problem (continue counseling).

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