There is nothing wrong with a man looking at porn. It quite healthy for a man to look at it and it dosen't mean that you don't turn him on anymore. Unless it's kiddie porn, bondage or S&M? There are different kinds of porn so what is it about the pictures that hurt you so much? What exactly are you view & opinions abot porn? Maybe the reason he lied is because he knew that you would freak out about it. It seems to me that for some reason, you have some issues about porn that you need to work out not only with yourself but with your boyfriend.

I wonder if he lied to you because he knows that you over react to things? Relax. Porn is not a threat to you. Especailly if it isn't an all day, every day thing. If it bothers you so much, talk to a counselor, or better yet, talk with your man. Let him explain it and if you are open to what he is saying you may find some understanding. If your sex life is amazing, you are in danger of ruining that with your obsession. Get a grip girl. For your sake, not his.

I personally do not have a problem with my husband looking at porn. However, apparently you do have a problem with your boyfriend looking at it, and you made it clear to him that you don't like it. Chances are he's not going to stop, so your choice seems to be to either let him look at it and come to some sort of understanding about it, or leave him. If it really hurts you that much, then I don't understand why you stay with him.

First of all, I'm not a man. I'm a woman who dosen't have a problem with men looking at porn magazines, movies or pictures. Unless, like I said, it's kiddie porn, bondage, S&M. I'm sorry that my answer upset you in any way. But, you did post your question in a forum where you are going to receive various honest opinions and views about the subject matter that may or maybe not be different from yours. From both men and women. It's evident that you have some strong views and opinions against porn. Which, I repeat, is probably why your bf lied to you about the pictures. If he has a few pictures, then he's not addicted. If porn totally consumes all of his time and has a negative effect of your sex life (meaning not having a healthy sex life), then he is possibly addicted. I'm not saying that your views and opinion are wrong. But if you feel this strongly then the two of you might not be able to get past this. I hope that things work out for the two of you. Good luck.

I'm 17 and I recently found out my long-term boyfriend - with whom I am living - looks at porn videos while I'm asleep. That really hurts. I dont know if it's morally correct or whatever for it to hurt, but it seriously does. It makes me feel betrayed and unwanted. - I wouldnt care if it was just him, on his own, at it (I found porn at his old place and it didn't bother me at all, I just teased him about it) - But the fact that I'm RIGHT THERE in the other room, and instead of being there with me, he's up most of the night hunched over our computer looking at other women's bits and getting off on it. Tell me that's ok. Tell me it's ok for me to wake up alone in our bed, from a bad dream or something, and to walk in and witness that. Instead of rolling over in bed, hugging my partner, and going back to sleep comforted by his presence. It don't think it's ok at all. And I dont think men just "need" to do that either, and if they do - I don't want a serious relationship with any of them becaus it's Sly, Selfish and Hurtfull. (sorry if that was too much of a rant- I'm still kinda fired up cos i caught him again (after another bad dream!) last night. Anyway.. IN CONCLUSION --- I dont think porn has ANY place in a serious relationship, unless both are involved or it's when one person is at home alone. I just don't think the anguish caused is worth whatever cheap thrill the offending partner experiences. Also honey, you need to give more info - I want to give you a better, more relevant answer! Sorry again for the ranting!

Anyone else got any thought on this? I know its an old question but...c'mon!

If it hurts you, then you need to get a new boyfriend - If he lies to you about this - he's not above lying to you about other things. There are women who aren't as sensitive, and who also tell lies at the drop of a hat, and they belong with men who have the same level of character. If you loved to do something (like flirt with hot guys) and you knew it made your boyfriend feel horrible, would you continue to do this, or would you stop out of respect for his feelings? This is no different. Get someone who respects your feelings.

You bring up some interesting points. You feel insecure about your bf watching fantasy TV. Porn is fantasy, after all. Not many people in real life act out quite that way. So your bf likes to watch unreal videos. Does he practice on you what he sees in the videos? You might try watching one with him and then acting out the roles you see on the screen. You might even suggest reversing roles, you act the part of the male, he the part of the female. Try taking his fantasies and working them to death. That is, watch with him, suggest alternative conduct (different positions, different ways of acting, etc) or make critical comments about the girls and how they look and how you could do a better job. You get the idea...sort of force him to acknowledge the whole thing is silly, particularly when he has the real thing sitting right next to him.

Seriously, get over it! All men looks at porn, I've been with my b/f for 4 yrs now and he still watches porn, and it's not like he doesn't love me or anything, it's just a guy thing, and i don't have any problems with it. Perhaps you should try watching it wiht him or something, you never know, if you just relax and stop worrying so much, you may actually enjoy it!! If all he's doing is watching porn, you have nothing to worry about!

hey im dealing with the same problem with my bf of over 3 years. we live together and one time i cought him jacking off to anime porn. And i flipped out of him, and almost left him. That was like 2 years ago tho. Ever since then i have trust issues with im. I agree that porn is a horrible relationship breaker and i wont put up with it. Cuz it does hurt that they get off by some other women and not you. How would they feel if u got off to looking at another man. Im sure they would get pissed. now im trying to see if he still does it cuz i have a feeling he does cuz when i go near his comp he quikly clicks out of somthign on the net and i never see what he was looking at and he acts all scared. And also i found some naked pics of my friend that he downloaded on a cd taht was pics of her and me. its a long story on why we took pics like that but i was so disgusted that he would do that. but he says he did it cuz it had pics of me not because of her. But right now im trying to figure out a way to find out if he is still looking at porn on the net. any ideas?

Hey there I am 21 and engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years. Before I had our son (now 5 months old) our sex life was terrible. It was my fault, i was never in the mood. Recently I have changed for the better and things have improved greatly. I thought that was wonderful... then I discovered it still wasn't enough. I caught him looking at porn while i was right in the other room sleeping RIGHT AFTER I had offered to do him a few favors if he would come to bed with me. And what hurt worse was that it wasn't like fantasy porn... he was also just looking at youtube videos of girls in there panties and stuff... I'm really not usually jealous, but that hurts like hell. when i opened the tabs on my computer to prove i knew what he was watching he STILL tried denying it. We almost broke up over it and i honestly no longer trust him. Now whenever he touches me i wonder if he is imagining someone else.

I recently found out my boyfriend was looking at porn and when someone says they have a problem but they say they won't do it again, how do you ever trust that he won't!? I've been totally insecure ever since I found it. I cry every week just thinking about him looking at it, and I want to forget about it but slutty women are everywhere. He use to say, when we were watching tv, that they were nasty, then when I looked it was googling them or looking for them on youtube! its so hard to get over something like that.

Why don't you watch some with him?

Many women look at porn. We have many sites with PORN FOR WOMEN. Beacause women need the visuals and to be aroused[to masturbate to when men aren't around]. It's a huge market now. I guess there are still women who feel they are not suppose to look at it. Watch Porn for Women and let him see you are doing this.

If he is lying to you about that what else is he lying to you about? Is he the kind of man you want to build a future with? I am a Christian male, and I wanted a Christian female for my mate and to build my future with. Christians are not suppose to sit around looking and lusting over other women. Guys that look at porn are lusting. When he is in bed with you, he is thinking of them. If it were me, I would show him the door.

I guess there are women yet who were brought up that porn is bad. Many women look at porn now and we have many sites just for us. PORN FOR WOMEN sites with nude guys, erections, ect... I suggest you ladies look at them and you will understand why your guy does. We ladies get aroused by visuals too and then have to masturbate. We are not different from men[just the plumbing is]. It's just that some women are brought up and taught that they aren't suppose to be sexual. We are equal now! Enjoy it!!!

have had different views on porn - i have watched it myself. I am so interested in what porn does to effect relationships that i have been reserching the topic. ihave seen that alot of men and some women say that porn is harmless. Harmless? tell that to the wife who goes to bed alone at night while her husband feeds his needs. Tell that to the girlfriend who can't turn her boyfriend on because he needs outside influence. Tell that to the thousand of couples in counsiling because of it. Tell that to the many heart broken wifes/girlfriends who have been left or cheated on. tell that to the husband who's wife would always fantasize about others so she could come. Point being, i don't think it is"harmless". Porn destroys intimacy in relationships because it intoduces a "third element" , all it does is bring in erotocisum. There are many couples who watch it and enjoy it together - fine. but it doesn't bring your relationship closer.To each there own but it depends on what you are needing out of your relationship. If your needs are being ignored, then there is a problem. If you want to watch it with your partner - then so be it, your choice. IMO - if you have committed yourself in a sexually monoganous relationship, then you should spend the time making one another happy. I have heard that people want to get different ideas. Ok, but why don't you take the time and figure them out yourselves? Again, to each their own. If you don't care about your S/O watching it at all, then that is the relationship you have established with one another. But if it creats problems within your relationship - then you need to evaluate if it is the right relationship for you.

If this really bothers you that much to the point that it disgusts you and makes you sick to your stomach, then you 2 are not meant to be. wanting him to not watch porn is like him not wanting you to be disgusted by it. regardless of your sex life, if the simple act of him viewing naked pix of people or watching people online or on a dvd have sex bothers you that much, is it really worth it?

ok i read all your questions. you say your bf cheated on you, this is the same bf you been seeing for 5 years? you are snooping on his computer for porn? what is you really want? they answers are smacking you in the face. you are 18, move on. this is not the end all and be all of your life. its a BOY FRIEND not a husband. no pitty party for you. get over it. the only one who should be upset is him for you snooping like you are a wife. wow, some poeople need a clue. GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!! MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!