Every girl's vulva, and vagina, is different. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Episiotomy is a relatively simple procedure, always done with anaesthesia. No need to be nervous. Your OB/GYN may give you some exercises to do after the operation.
Be of good cheer.

When i was younger and still a virgin and I wanted to start wearing tampons, it took me like 3 months to get the courage to just put it in and it hurt SO BAD. and these were the smallest, skinniest tampons out there. every girl is different but i don't know much about any procedures, i would just work on loosening it up on your own. start with little things and work up to a finger or tampon size. at that point, you'll be ready for the next thing: losing you virginity which will hurt too, but if you can get a tampon in, it shouldn't be too bad. at least it wasn't for me.