My 3 year old wants 2 B carried everywhere we go. I have a neck injury that affects my shoulder. If I don't carry her she will throw a fit until I pick her up. I have tried to ignore her, but sometimes she makes me late 4 work. What should I do?
by 
snakelover
ANSWERS: 6
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you need to cut her off cold turkey. let her throw the fit. do what i do, and just walk out of the room with her having the fit...she will look around for you and come running (though still screaming and crying)..... or you can lie and say "i have candy!"...(note:there is no candy.it is ok to lie to children about trivial things, like candy or santa claus).
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You could just tell her sincerely without fear or anger or impatience - Mommy has a boo boo on her shoulder or Mommy is hurt, I can't pick you up. Say it many times calmly till she quiets down.
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You have to stay strong and not let your kids control your life.
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If you can't do it, you can't do it. Lavish love on her at the times you can hold her and praise her when she walks on her own. Let her finish her tantrums without giving in when she doesn't get carried and systematically reward her when she comes out of it and performs positively. Don't be intimidated or guilt-manipulated. Explain to her as best she can understand. Establish some times and places when she can be held and relish those times. Evdery child is different. The same advice does not apply to all. hopefully someone's will work. Trial and error is your friend ... but being in charge is always a necessity. Best wishes to you!
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She has you trained. You are supposed to be the adult here. Tell her that big girls walk. Reward her when she acts like a big girl. Start practicing on the weekend so you will be ready during the week. Never give in and pick her up. Hold her by the hand in such a way that it is necessary for her to walk, and do not allow her any alternatives. It is not as much fun to walk with a child who is throwing a fit, but it is possible. Children do need to be held, however, so make special mommy time when you can hold her on your lap and rock and read to her.
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Until she stops acting like this, you're probably going to have to plan to leave earlier to account for the tantrum throwing. And I agree. DONT pick her up, ever again. I had a neck injury when my babes were little and I even put a chair next to the crib so they could climb in and out by themselves. I also learned how to wrap their arm that was closest to me around my waist (or lower down if they were small)and hold that hand with one hand, while I held their shoulder or upper arm with the other hand. I could walk them just about anywhere doing that, but I did walk sort of bent over until they got older. Although it's no picnic doing this when they're having a tantrum, it still can be done, and you don't have to strain your shoulder/neck by picking them up. Do spend lots of extra time snuggling and reading, to make up for not holding her. Tell her how much you enjoy snuggling, and spending time with her. She'll give it up when you don't give in.
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